The Fat One

[Pink86]

Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor?

Here's my unorthodox response...it shouldn't have been said within an earshot of the student or anyone else. This sounds like a conversation between the charge nurse and the instructor that needed to be private and behind closed doors.

When people forget or do not know someone's name, or cannot formulate a mental picture of the person when his/her name is mentioned, it is common to use descriptors related to the person's appearance. These descriptors may or may not be unflattering, but they are not meant for the ears of the person who is being described.

For instance, if a case manager instructs me to give paperwork to the new unit clerk named Lily and the new marketer named Stan, and I tell her do not know who Lily or Stan are, the case manager might say: "Lily is the dumpy blonde who is wearing big glasses and hunter green scrubs, and Mike is the tall skinny black guy with the bald head."

In my aforementioned scenarios the case manager is not purposely attempting to offend anyone, and I see no problems with describing someone as 'fat' or 'skinny' as long as it is not within an earshot of everyone.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Well said Commuter.

And to address the OPs other question: The reasons some nurses don't like working with students are many. (I personally love them, but try and listen to those who don't.) First, often, they are not given a choice about hosting a student or not. Secondly, like having a small child 'help' you in the kitchen- everything takes twice as long with a student. Thirdly, some people just like to be left alone to do their work. Lastly, sometimes the student is the problem. I've had students with NO CONCEPT of personal space who are right on top of you all the time. Others can be enthusiastic to the point of having to be directed to sit down and wait while I pee. A rare, special breed is the type who already knows everything, and YOU are slowing THEM down.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

Here's my unorthodox response...it shouldn't have been said within an earshot of the student or anyone else. This sounds like a conversation between the charge nurse and the instructor that needed to be private and behind closed doors.

When people forget or do not know someone's name, or cannot formulate a mental picture of the person when his/her name is mentioned, it is common to use descriptors related to the person's appearance. These descriptors may or may not be unflattering, but they are not meant for the ears of the person who is being described.

For instance, if a case manager instructs me to give paperwork to the new unit clerk named Lily and the new marketer named Stan, and I tell her do not know who Lily or Stan are, the case manager might say: "Lily is the dumpy blonde who is wearing big glasses and hunter green scrubs, and Mike is the tall skinny black guy with the bald head."

In my aforementioned scenarios the case manager is not purposely attempting to offend anyone, and I see no problems with describing someone as 'fat' or 'skinny' as long as it is not within an earshot of everyone.

Even if they were behind closed doors, I find saying "the fat one" to be pretty tactless.

I would be taken aback by a nurse describing a student as "the fat one".

I might say "the heavy-set woman" or something if I was struggling to describe an individual. I realize that's just a euphemism for saying the same thing, but saying "the fat one" just seems like you're deliberately trying to be mean.

[kungpoopanda]

It was worse than tactless, especially as the student heard it. The charge sounds angry and mean and willing to throw anyone under the bus. The isntructor should have called her out on it.

[Mesmerize]

Unprofessional, inappropriate, inconsiderate !

[Libby1987]

Here's my unorthodox response...it shouldn't have been said within an earshot of the student or anyone else. This sounds like a conversation between the charge nurse and the instructor that needed to be private and behind closed doors.

When people forget or do not know someone's name, or cannot formulate a mental picture of the person when his/her name is mentioned, it is common to use descriptors related to the person's appearance. These descriptors may or may not be unflattering, but they are not meant for the ears of the person who is being described.

For instance, if a case manager instructs me to give paperwork to the new unit clerk named Lily and the new marketer named Stan, and I tell her do not know who Lily or Stan are, the case manager might say: "Lily is the dumpy blonde who is wearing big glasses and hunter green scrubs, and Mike is the tall skinny black guy with the bald head."

In my aforementioned scenarios the case manager is not purposely attempting to offend anyone, and I see no problems with describing someone as 'fat' or 'skinny' as long as it is not within an earshot of everyone.

I recently went round and round with a coworker (I love her and this wasn't hostile) who called me out on describing one of our visitors whose names were unknown to us (to single her out of 3 women). It was nothing at all negative, but I used her race as the descriptor. (If you can't say fat one I'm sure not going to say tall skinny one, but that would have worked too.) and to say the one in ecru, well I wasn't that creative at the moment. Since when is race in of itself negative?

[Libby1987]

The problem with saying the fat one is that it's very likely hurtful, most do not consider it a neutral descriptor. Unlike most physical descriptors this one is off limits. I don't necessarily agree when it's a matter of fact but I like to avoid being hurtful.

[Emergent, RN]

I guess she forgot her politically correct filter that day. She said 'fat' instead of 'heavy set'. Uh oh, better file a complaint. Go straight up the chain of command would be my advice!

[ShelbyaStar]

I agree with the commuter. Not the best handling, but I'll admit in an attempt to describe someone in particular I've used non-PC terms that I'd rather they not hear. The bigger gal, the black guy, the one with a weird laugh, whatever it is that makes them stand out. If they happened to be the only brunette, I'd use that, but that's not likely to be the case. Not going to beat around the bush about it by saying, you know, brown hair, brown eyes, blue scrubs (shoot, that's most of the class! Umm... she's about 5'2?).

However, she clearly didn't put it very delicately and was not careful to keep others from hearing, and that's not cool. Hard to know how uncool it was when hearing about it second or third hand.

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

The problem with saying the fat one is that it's very likely hurtful, most do not consider it a neutral descriptor. Unlike most physical descriptors this one is off limits. I don't necessarily agree when it's a matter of fact but I like to avoid being hurtful.

Agreed. Describing someone as fat is hurtful. It doesn't matter if they are or not. I wonder if English is the charge nurse's first language.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

Even if they were behind closed doors, I find saying "the fat one" to be pretty tactless.

I would be taken aback by a nurse describing a student as "the fat one".

I might say "the heavy-set woman" or something if I was struggling to describe an individual. I realize that's just a euphemism for saying the same thing, but saying "the fat one" just seems like you're deliberately trying to be mean.

If she'd have called the student nurse a n***** she'd have been fired on the spot.

I wonder what difference there really is in calling an obese person 'fat', in a society where you'd have to be blind and deaf to not know what a depersonalizing, demeaning and insulting label this is?

Just ponderings. I agree 'heavy set' is JUST as easy to say as 'fat', and at least in my case, it sure comes quicker to my lips than to point someone out by referring to them as 'fat'.

I don't agree that we can entirely let this nurse off the hook, whatever her circumstances, business, anxiety over some mistake a student made, whatever. It's really not difficult to be kind FIRST, unless your heart is full of unkindness . . . which I suspect is the case here. Otherwise, a different word would have popped out of her mouth than the WELL understood derogatory word "fat".