The most emotional nurse-patient moment that you've had or heard about

PeachyOrthoRN, RN · Jul 11, 2005

I can say that I've cried with at least one patient in my four years as a nurse and while I try not to cry in their presence this one I couldn't help it. I work nights and I guess it the saying goes that some strange things tend to happen on nights. I was taking care of this little lady in her 70's I wasn't to far out of school nor to long on my own. It was atleast within my first year of nursing. Anyway she had just had a hickman cath put in for dialysis earlier that day and I had gotten report from the PM nurse and everything and went in to assess her. I found her laying in a pool of blood!! Her chest had been bleeding for some time one would say. Now she had a history some liver problems you could tell she was jaundice, and kidney problems and some things I'm sure I can't remember. So I reinforced the dressing and added some microfoam tape around the woman (she was 90 lbs soaking wet!) to help stop the bleeding. She soaking through that I about 30 minutes. I was in her room all night changing the dressing. I at one point was holding manual pressure to her chest and she looked at me and said to me "You look scared" and at that point I said I didn't know what else I could do. I had already called the surgeon who basically said I'm not coming in try some coagulative foamy stuff that you get from surgery. I don't remember the name now. The physician that we have in house at night had already been up applying the stuff, but really didn't know what he was doing. Anyway she told me that she was going to be fine and that point started to cry and so did I. It was a moment I still can't get out of my mind. Well to make a very long story short. She did finally stop bleeding the second application of that foam stuff and a really good pressure dressing did the trick and she didn't soak through the dressing at all in fact she hardly bled. She called me her angel from then on. In fact she bought me a small gift a angel pendant which hangs from my mirror at home a constant reminder of her. I found out about 6 months after she left my care that she passed away peacefully.

I hope this story comes out as wonderful to you as it was for me although words don't always describe the actual mood.

browsing · Jul 11, 2005

How do you stay calm during incidences such as that? and that was during your first yr? WOW. whenever i hear stories of neglected old people, it makes me put myself in their situations bcuz im going to be an old grannie someday too :uhoh3: not that the old lady that you took care of was neglected bcuz she wsas obviously taken care by you, but it's pretty sad that the doctor thought she was not important enough to be looked at. she was afterall soaking in blood

MADDOG70, BSN · Jul 11, 2005

I work in a level one pediatric trauma center. I've had a few emotional times. The worst is when the kids die. Stupid preventable reasons. One mom 16yrs old wanted to go out with her friends so she put the baby in the top drawer of the dresser. baby suffocated. Mom says "well I put a pillow in there for her" :angryfire

Gramma says "don't worry you can have another." What the f***. These are not disposable people!!!! I wanted to scream. Other kids falling out windows that had no screens and nobody watching the kids. I cry for the babies that never had a chance because of neglect and abuse!! Those are the worst.

Ok I just erased my post. Don't ask why :rotfl:
Have you ever experienced a death of your own patient? How did you handle it? Does it ever get easier??
Was there ever a time where you just could not keep yourself from crying? How do you cope with it all?

mattsmom81 · Jul 11, 2005

In my 27 years I've had many emotional moments. I'll share 2 which impacted me:

As a student nurse learning IV's on the IV team, I went to the room of a 4 yr old hairless, emaciated child with leukemia. He needed (another) blood transfusion and I was to start the IV, I explained. The little boy looked at me with huge, sad, resigned eyes and said 'Its OK...I'm a big boy.' I was overcome and ran from the room, deciding then and there I would be useless on peds...couldn't watch kids suffer. I am crying now remembering this moment.

One more recent was a lovely 40-ish woman who took many NSAIDS and narcotics for chronic pain for years and developed a bowel obstruction that perforated. Her life was saved in my ICU after surgical intervention, but she went into a roller coaster condition...feeling a bit better only to need more surgery for necrotic tissue that would not heal. This went on for months and she looked like a jaundiced, emaciated skeleton, in and out of multisystem failure, delirious most of the time. After months of this, her husband voiced feelings of futility, overcome by his wife's suffering. When I encouraged him to share his feelings with the surgeons, they shut him down and left him out...essentially he felt bullied into consenting to the repeated surgeries, although he was beginning to question the futility.

I came in one day and he told me helplessly 'I just want to take her out of here and drive us both over a cliff.' I was overcome to say the least. We hugged and cried together...finally I quietly said 'You can stop this when you are ready' and let him vent. I offered what support I could, including referral to ethics committee, but was keenly aware at that moment of just how helpless I was too, in this sytem run by doctors. We are seeing increasing ethical dilemnas and futile care largely based on fears of lawsuits, doctors making their $$$ yet refusing to look at the human suffering behind 'modern medicine' and its extreme interventions. I still see this poor woman's face in my dreams and do not feel good about my involvement with her prolonged misery. This case led in part to my burnout in ICU; questioning my values and how I was to merge 'me' with modern healthcare.

I guess my point is these emotional moments can lead us to self discovery and important decisions in our life and career....we shouldn't minimize their significance :)

Hoozdo, ADN · Jul 11, 2005

In my 27 years I've had many emotional moments. I'll share 2 which impacted me:
One more recent was a lovely 40-ish woman who took many NSAIDS and narcotics for chronic pain for years and developed a bowel obstruction that perforated. Her life was saved in my ICU after surgical intervention, but she went into a roller coaster condition...feeling a bit better only to need more surgery for necrotic tissue that would not heal. This went on for months and she looked like a jaundiced, emaciated skeleton, in and out of multisystem failure, delirious most of the time. After months of this, her husband voiced feelings of futility, overcome by his wife's suffering. When I encouraged him to share his feelings with the surgeons, they shut him down and left him out...essentially he felt bullied into consenting to the repeated surgeries, although he was beginning to question the futility.
I came in one day and he told me helplessly 'I just want to take her out of here and drive us both over a cliff.' I was overcome to say the least. We hugged and cried together...finally I quietly said 'You can stop this when you are ready' and let him vent.
This story really touched me because I have been on the pt side of a story very similiar to this. The pt was my mother in ICU after having an emergency colostomy for peritonits, on to ARDs, on to MODS. The ICU nurse actually cried with me and I can't tell you how much that meant to me. Crying is not a bad thing people; it shows you CARE and makes the pt and the family appreciate you even more.
Another incident I had with crying was with a surgeon. I was the pt in ICU following a liver transplant, intubated - but aware. My surgeon was standing over me holding my hand and tears were actually coming down his face - tears of happiness! I thought, my GOD, what a compassionate doctor.
My 2 cents, crying is not always a bad thing to happen in front of a pt.
Lu Ann

live4today, RN · Jul 11, 2005

Ok I just erased my post. Don't ask why :rotfl:
Have you ever experienced a death of your own patient? How did you handle it? Does it ever get easier??
Was there ever a time where you just could not keep yourself from crying? How do you cope with it all?

Yes, I have. I cried many times with my patients and their families when death was near, or following the death of my patient, I grieved with the family, hugged them, was there for them. No shame in doing that either. I am the same way at work, at home, in a social setting.....I'm me that way. :)

Does it get easier? No, not for me. Death is death, and grief always accompanies death...doesn't matter who dies.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jul 11, 2005

Ok I just erased my post. Don't ask why :rotfl:
Have you ever experienced a death of your own patient? How did you handle it? Does it ever get easier??
Was there ever a time where you just could not keep yourself from crying? How do you cope with it all?

1. Three 16 year-olds joy riding...MVA...all die. I had to obtain fluid from the eyes for drug testing.

and later that same night

2. I had to baptize a dying newborn

Many more, but these two, without going into detail, almost pushed me over the edge.

Never does it get easy. Crying is just about the only thing that you can do.

Miss Ludie · Jul 11, 2005

One that comes to mind because I have kept a note from her mom on my bulletin board. My patient 50ish, ovarian cancer for several years, colostomy, and all, actively dying wanted to see her grandson graduate from college. Her family went to the coliseum and I held a telephone up so she could hear.

When they announced his name, she looked at me and said "I'm glad you are here Thank you." She took her last breath while holding my hand.

Yes it gets easier but not all that easy ever. Yes I still cry

L&Dnurse2Be · Jul 11, 2005

I'm not a nurse yet, just a CNA, but I do have a story. I was taking care of a patient who had requested no medical intervention. She was on inpatient hospice. On a Saturday, I was giving her a bed bath and cleaning her mouth with those little sponges. She smiled at me. As I was washing her arms, I asked her if it felt good to be washed. She grunted at me and smiled again. As I was trying my best to wash her (she was a very large woman) I noticed her skin was starting to break down. I informed the nurse and we did everything we could to make her comfortable. It was obvious to me that the other CNA's who had been caring for her during the week had not done a very good job. After I got home that night, I worried about her. Her family had not come in to see her at all. On Sunday, I went in to work. She was not my patient that day, but I went in to her room to see her. I patted her arm and asked her how she was doing today. I got no response. A few minutes later, the hospice nurse came in and was taking her blood pressure. All of a sudden, she took her last breath. It was very peaceful, but it was hard because I believe I got the last smile and the last response. It was not tragic, but I still had a hard time with her death. Her family never came in. At least she did not die alone, we were there for her. :crying2:

Sis123 · Jul 11, 2005

Wow, these are all tear-jerkers....

: :sniff: : : :sniff: :

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Jul 11, 2005

Ya kids do get used to this stuff if they go through it alot.

In my 27 years I've had many emotional moments. I'll share 2 which impacted me:
As a student nurse learning IV's on the IV team, I went to the room of a 4 yr old hairless, emaciated child with leukemia. He needed (another) blood transfusion and I was to start the IV, I explained. The little boy looked at me with huge, sad, resigned eyes and said 'Its OK...I'm a big boy.' I was overcome and ran from the room, deciding then and there I would be useless on peds...couldn't watch kids suffer. I am crying now remembering this moment.
I guess my point is these emotional moments can lead us to self discovery and important decisions in our life and career....we shouldn't minimize their significance :)