I recently became the victim of harassment in the workplace, only to watch my nurse manager cater to the physician as he belittled me and used profanity towards me in her presence.
Backstory: Two weeks ago, a surgeon asked me how his patient was doing. I reported to him that she was very weepy during the day and had mentioned being upset with him because she came out of surgery with 3 JP drains and she had not been expecting that. He marched into her room and began yelling at her. He told her she had better change her attitude because he saved her life and he would stop making rounds on her completely if she didn't start thanking him every time she saw him. I was present during this interaction and said This needs to stop. NOW†and walked out of the room. He told me Don't you ever walk out while I am speaking†and walked off. I did report him to my supervisor, but did not make an occurrence report to human resources, which I am now deeply regretting.
Yesterday, this same surgeon told me he was writing up a discharge order for one of the patients. I told him her blood pressure had been running high and rattled off her morning vital signs from my report sheet. I was waiting in line to pull medications from the Pyxis and he asked me when the patient had received PRN medications last. I replied I'm not sure because I'm not in front of the computer, but I've been here since 7am and I haven't given her anything and it's now 8:15am.†He was sitting at the computer and replied me Well log on and tell meâ€. I knew he was trying to throw his weight around, so I replied I am about to pull medications so I can't do that right nowâ€. He became angry and demanded to speak to my supervisor.
While we were speaking to her, he insulted me, called me names, and used profanity towards me. To my absolute surprise, my nursing supervisor kept making comments like Yes, sir. I agree with you sir.†and She will be spoken toâ€. She not once interjected or disagreed with him. I feel that her very attitude serves to only inflate the ego of this physician and makes his behavior acceptable. He literally made me go to my supervisors office and his argument was she didn't do what I told her to do when I told her to do it!â€. After noting that she was just agreeing with everything he said, I said I'm done with this conversation, I have to go take care of my patients†and began to walk out. The physician replied You're a nurse, you don't get to decide when we're doneâ€.
I may be a nurse, but I am also a very real person with very real feelings. His commentary serves to explain his treatment of me. To him, I am beneath him and am even unable to decide when I no longer want to participate in a hostile exchange. I was upset at how he was treating me, but even more upset that my nurse manager did not intervene. The message she sent across is that I may be important, but he is MORE IMPORTANT to the facility because he is a surgeon. My nurse manager was practically agreeing with him that I needed to wait until he ended the conversation.
This lack of support for nurses should be highly frowned upon and should not be tolerated. I may not have gone to school for 8 years, but I do have an education, a mouth, and a brain and I can make my own decisions! I am more than JUST A NURSE. As nurses, we get caught up in patient care to the point that small interactions such as my original encounter with him go unreported. We must stand up for ourselves and our profession and report incidences such as this one to protect ourselves. We can no longer tolerate doctors making us feel inferior or demanding that we stop performing our responsibilities to cater to their needs.
I am now left with only a few witnesses of our original encounter as my ‘proof' and have been ‘fired' from taking care of any of this surgeons patients in the future. I did nothing wrong, but all of his request were fulfilled and I am left waiting the response of human resources, from which I hear, will do nothing. We need to change this and demand to work in environments in which we are valued and supported instead of freely belittled and harassed. Report all of these incidences to protect yourself!
I agree that there is a power struggle between us , stemming from the first incident . I should have reported that interaction between him and that patient to begin with.
I learned many lessons through this situation. I do understand how my perspective of him played into the situation. I don't necessarily agree that it's my fault or all his fault . My nurse manager now claims she only didn't get involved because he was "having a hissy fit" and wouldn't have listened to her anyways. He was not receptive to any communication that was opposition of his opinion.
Thank you! I understand it became about me and him, but I am a person and so is he. He was addressing me in a condescending tone and demanding I do things. Of course it got personal since his behavior manifested only after a prior disagreement.
This is how Jacob Rockstar-RN dealt with Farawyn in a similar situation:
Of course, as I stated, the OP could have handled certain things differently, which she has acknowledged. But it seems like you're trying to say that both OP and the surgeon's actions were EQUALLY wrong, when it seems obvious to me that her mismanagement of the situation was nothing compared to his behavior. What actual helpful advice are you trying to get through??? I can't really tell.
Of course, as I stated, the OP could have handled certain things differently, which she has acknowledged. But it seems like you're trying to say that both OP and the surgeon's actions were EQUALLY wrong, when it seems obvious to me that her mismanagement of the situation was nothing compared to his behavior. What actual helpful advice are you trying to get through??? I can't really tell.
I don't think they were equally wrong. The surgeon was wrong for cursing her out. The surgeon isn't here telling his tale, though, and OP is. I responded on what I saw in her actions/reactions.
I've been in OP's shoes as a newer nurse. I haven't been cursed out by a doctor, but I have been in the power struggle.
I can learn from it. Now I give the dead stare. Really, it works. Never let 'em see you sweat.
(Libra, I know you didn't ask me, but I'm trying to avoid paperwork, and I'm throwing in.)
Is it the OP's fault that the surgeon is a jerk? No.
Did the OP handle the situation well? Absolutely not.
This is not a black and white, "he so bad, she so good" situation. Although, as I said, the surgeon is a feminine hygiene product and gets no sympathy from me.
The OP's actions paint the exact picture of an ineffective coping strategy.
Sure, the OP could have gone to HR. The surgeon may or may not have gotten a talking to. But that's not the point.
If the OP had handled it in a professional manner from the beginning, the surgeon could have learned the boundaries. There would probably be no current power struggle.
There surely wouldn't have been a second childish exchange, in front of other staff while standing at the Pyxis, to further embarrass the surgeon and cause him to be completely entrenched in his attitude toward you.
You have taught him, and everyone else who was at the Pyxis, that you are unprofessional and petty and deserve to be treated as such.
Try looking at the docs that you work with as teammates instead of opponents.
What bothers me the most about your part in this exchange (and you do have a part) is you doing the med pass and telling him you'll look up something later. It seems like the power struggle kept happening, while it could have been let go at this point.
(I'm just now digging in on this thread and apologize for quoting and responding on a page 1 comment when there have been pages since.)
I have to say that I am actually surprised that this is so far the growing general consensus. And boy am I extremely thankful right now that (for the most part) I work with doctors who are equally as respectful of my time and work as I am of theirs. If I'm in the line waiting to pull meds, I will let them know that I will look up absolutely everything they need, but I need to call them back in a few minutes. That is a reasonable response. The only time I'll get out of that line is the rare instance it's a private practice doctor who can't look it up themselves because they're not near a computer with access.
Look, if it's not an emergency and you're actually in the middle of something that can't or shouldn't be interrupted, it's okay to say that. And these docs I work with know I don't just blow them off. They also know things I CAN stop doing, I will stop for them and give them whatever info, item, or charting/entering orders they need. This does go both ways.
Funkymiss187
31 Posts
I agree that there is a power struggle between us , stemming from the first incident . I should have reported that interaction between him and that patient to begin with.
I learned many lessons through this situation. I do understand how my perspective of him played into the situation. I don't necessarily agree that it's my fault or all his fault . My nurse manager now claims she only didn't get involved because he was "having a hissy fit" and wouldn't have listened to her anyways. He was not receptive to any communication that was opposition of his opinion.
I will keep you all posted.