The dumbest things you've heard from a provider

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The other afternoon an OB resident came by to check in with a patient, the OB doc seemed very perplexed as to why the patient was crying. "I don't know why she would be crying, that seems strange..."

Because postpartum women NEVER cry. THERE'S NO CRYING IN CHILDBIRTH RECOVERY!!

So what are some of the things a provider has said that just make you wonder?

Specializes in ICU.

His response: I don't know if we can do ultrasounds on pregnant women.

Hahahahahahahaha! I love it! (Hope your wife was ok..)

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Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

When I worked on cardiac, I had this 87 year old lady whose ICD was firing (hence her admittance) and she was having repeated runs of VT. So the resident is up there- this hot shot young woman, and she's all striding down the hall being the empowered young female doc she is- she goes into the room, the woman has another run, symptomatic, and the doc comes out and is on the phone to the attending, sounding like a scared little teenager calling her daddy to rescue her. "I don't know what to do! She's...she's...all pasty and diaphoretic, and I...I..." and she's got tears in her eyes!

Here's a personal one- when I was 18 I was in treatment for anorexia nervosa. I had been eating a non restricted amount of calories and of course I had put on a lot of weight- more than I lost and was considered overweight now. So the doc I'm seeing for some reason or another is lecturing me about how I'm overweight. I tried to explain to him what had been going on since I was 15 years old, eating a diet of no more than 700 calories a day and he says "and you know that's fine, some people really only need to eat that much in a day." My dad chimed in "but honey, you're not "obese". And doctor classy pipes up "actually, by the numbers you are obese, but not by society's image of the word."

Needless to say there was a mild relapse.

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When I worked on cardiac, I had this 87 year old lady whose ICD was firing (hence her admittance) and she was having repeated runs of VT. So the resident is up there- this hot shot young woman, and she's all striding down the hall being the empowered young female doc she is- she goes into the room, the woman has another run, symptomatic, and the doc comes out and is on the phone to the attending, sounding like a scared little teenager calling her daddy to rescue her. "I don't know what to do! She's...she's...all pasty and diaphoretic, and I...I..." and she's got tears in her eyes!

Here's a personal one- when I was 18 I was in treatment for anorexia nervosa. I had been eating a non restricted amount of calories and of course I had put on a lot of weight- more than I lost and was considered overweight now. So the doc I'm seeing for some reason or another is lecturing me about how I'm overweight. I tried to explain to him what had been going on since I was 15 years old, eating a diet of no more than 700 calories a day and he says "and you know that's fine, some people really only need to eat that much in a day." My dad chimed in "but honey, you're not "obese". And doctor classy pipes up "actually, by the numbers you are obese, but not by society's image of the word."

Needless to say there was a mild relapse.

Please tell me this doctor is not practicing anymore. How horrible!

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Specializes in Pedi.
When I worked on cardiac, I had this 87 year old lady whose ICD was firing (hence her admittance) and she was having repeated runs of VT. So the resident is up there- this hot shot young woman, and she's all striding down the hall being the empowered young female doc she is- she goes into the room, the woman has another run, symptomatic, and the doc comes out and is on the phone to the attending, sounding like a scared little teenager calling her daddy to rescue her. "I don't know what to do! She's...she's...all pasty and diaphoretic, and I...I..." and she's got tears in her eyes!

Here's a personal one- when I was 18 I was in treatment for anorexia nervosa. I had been eating a non restricted amount of calories and of course I had put on a lot of weight- more than I lost and was considered overweight now. So the doc I'm seeing for some reason or another is lecturing me about how I'm overweight. I tried to explain to him what had been going on since I was 15 years old, eating a diet of no more than 700 calories a day and he says "and you know that's fine, some people really only need to eat that much in a day." My dad chimed in "but honey, you're not "obese". And doctor classy pipes up "actually, by the numbers you are obese, but not by society's image of the word."

Needless to say there was a mild relapse.

I had a similar experience with a doctor. I was treated as a teenager for anorexia and bulimia. It evolved after I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and lost control of a lot of things in my life. It got out of control a few months after my surgery to the point where I had to leave school and enter into treatment. Several months later, I was on my way to getting "better" and I went to a neurology follow-up appointment. My neurologist looked at my chart and said "my, you've gained 20 pounds!" Thanks a lot... naturally the people treating me for my eating disorder were doing everything in their power to prevent focus on the numbers. Anyway, yeah, that led to a not very good time for a while.

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Specializes in oncology, MS/tele/stepdown.
When I worked on cardiac, I had this 87 year old lady whose ICD was firing (hence her admittance) and she was having repeated runs of VT. So the resident is up there- this hot shot young woman, and she's all striding down the hall being the empowered young female doc she is- she goes into the room, the woman has another run, symptomatic, and the doc comes out and is on the phone to the attending, sounding like a scared little teenager calling her daddy to rescue her. "I don't know what to do! She's...she's...all pasty and diaphoretic, and I...I..." and she's got tears in her eyes!

Here's a personal one- when I was 18 I was in treatment for anorexia nervosa. I had been eating a non restricted amount of calories and of course I had put on a lot of weight- more than I lost and was considered overweight now. So the doc I'm seeing for some reason or another is lecturing me about how I'm overweight. I tried to explain to him what had been going on since I was 15 years old, eating a diet of no more than 700 calories a day and he says "and you know that's fine, some people really only need to eat that much in a day." My dad chimed in "but honey, you're not "obese". And doctor classy pipes up "actually, by the numbers you are obese, but not by society's image of the word."

Needless to say there was a mild relapse.

In high school I had carved "FAT" into my stomach, which my PCP saw during my physical. He offered to refer me to a dietitian if I wanted to lose weight. Not to a psychiatrist or a therapist, but a dietitian.

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Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

I was in treatment a couple years back and the nutritionist and therapist I was seeing said that many regular internists just have no clue how to handle eating disorder patients, and for all their knowledge don't seem to understand the response of the body to eating "regularly" after having starved oneself and that it's very likely that an ED patient would gain a lot of weight following treatment. She also says that society indirectly praises distorted eating and compulsive exercise. We're an ignorant society when it comes to eating disorders (do you ever forsee a reality show called "the biggest gainer" where eating disorder patients go through therapy and try to adapt to a normal way of functioning?) Oh- and the worst thing you can say to a recovering anorexic is "honey, you look great, you look HEALTHY."

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Specializes in Pediatrics/Developmental Pediatrics/Research/psych.

Or what about my pediatrician who saw me before fifth grade. I had developed early, so I was "overweight". He told me ti go on a diet, but didn't discuss what that means.

Need I explain my obsession with my weight?

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Any more stories?

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Back in the old, old days, we were taught recapping techniques. One of them was to hold the cap in one hand, the syringe with needle in the other hand. Place the heels of the hands together and... ever so carefully bring the cap and syringe/needle together, and safely recap.

I witnessed a nurse standing in the hallway , with her TOES pointed east and west, the heels of her feet clamped tightly together.... with cap and syringe/needle in either hand....and heard her say " I just don't see how standing this way is supposed to help me recap this needle safely."

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Specializes in Pedi.

One of my patients has been having more frequent febrile seizures recently. Like spiking fevers to 104-105. Well, apparently after the last one, a CBC revealed a white count of 30K. Since it's July, baby doctors are all over the place and one of them told his mother that his white blood cell count was that high because the seizure "jostled" his blood... And I was like "uhhhh... don't you want to make sure this is not indicative of something more serious????" No one but me thinks that lab should be repeated.

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Teaching hospital. Dialysis pt, very stable, dialyzing, sitting up in bed, talking. Doing fine. B/P monitor reads 70/30 or something like that. Resident panics- "Put him in trendelenburg! Give him saline!"

I say to the pt "Joe, you doing ok?" He says "Sure."

I readjust the B/P cuff, hit the button, and it reads 120/70.

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Had a teenager getting a full neuro workup for altered mental status followed by a migraine the next morning. Otherwise known as drunk followed by a hangover to those of us with common sense. When I asked the neuro PA if they were aware her blood alcohol was whatever it was, her response was, "Well that's low." Really? What is a normal blood alcohol for a teenager? And I usually don't get a headache until my blood alcohol is coming down either. But hey, let's do CTs and MRIs and EEGs. Just maybe we'll find something wrong other than a "low" blood alcohol level.

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