The dumbest things you've heard from a provider

[PeepnBiscuitsRN]

The other afternoon an OB resident came by to check in with a patient, the OB doc seemed very perplexed as to why the patient was crying. "I don't know why she would be crying, that seems strange..."

Because postpartum women NEVER cry. THERE'S NO CRYING IN CHILDBIRTH RECOVERY!!

So what are some of the things a provider has said that just make you wonder?

[Peppermintcake]

The parents lived within walking distance of the hospital. Dad was waiting downstairs with the pram.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

The parents lived within walking distance of the hospital. Dad was waiting downstairs with the pram.

They wouldn't have been allowed to leave at my hospital either. You can't just carry a baby out of the hospital in most hospitals AND any newborns going home for the first time were required to pass a corificeat test- in their own corificeat- prior to discharge.

[Peppermintcake]

Wow - what happens in your hospital if there is no car seat? Not every parent has a car! Do you keep the babies in hospital until the parents buy a car seat?

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

My local hospital (regional receiving facility) has a collection of donated new car seats used for anyone who was in a car accident (once in a certain type of accident the seat needs to be replaced) or those who don't have cars so didn't get a car seat as car seats are needed for public transportation. They also had discount versions.

No one left sans car seat. I was asked upon admission for delivery and the admitting nurse asked if a voucher was needed (i had one) I didn't have a crib (long story) but my mom & aunt went shopping as soon as the boy made his appearance.

[RNCCMMS, RN]

This thread is a hoot! I often wondered how some mds made it through med school, too :-)

[monkeybug]

This one was not a provider, yet. He was a med student. We were not really a teaching hospital, but we had an agreement with a medical school. We had residents and students, but we had just as many patients who used private docs. A student came to our L&D one day to see if anything was going on, and we told him that the medical school didn't have any patients that day. "But what about this labor on the board?" I told him that she belonged to one of the private docs. He said he was going to ask the doctor if he could assist and maybe do the delivery. I told him to go right ahead, but I seriously doubted the doctor would agree to it, and I really doubted that the patient would agree to it. "Well," he says rather huffily, "I'm bet the doctor will be happy to let me, and she should not be allowed to refuse! This is a teaching hospital, she doesn't have a choice!" Oh yes she does, buster, and it will be over my dead body that you enter that room. He asked the doctor (after I filled in the doctor on my own) who told him in no uncertain terms that it wouldn't happen. The private OBs very rarely let the students near their patients.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Wow - what happens in your hospital if there is no car seat? Not every parent has a car! Do you keep the babies in hospital until the parents buy a car seat?

There was a car seat program in the hospital. The infant Nurse Practitioner or the Social Worker would work with the parents but no way could people just carry a baby out of the hospital. Officially they weren't allowed to carry the babies at all around the hospital, unless they were in a car seat.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Busy med/surg unit -- 31 patients and I was the only nurse. The intern wanted a Foley inserted in one of his patients, and I told him that I'd get to it as soon as I finished my med pass. That wasn't soon enough for him, so he offered to do it himself. I was young then, and not wise in the ways of interns. I let the CNA take him through the supply room to get what he needed, and he went off to insert the Foley. Imagine my surprise when, a few minutes later, I heard a distinctive MALE voice calling for help from within the room of two FEMALE patients. In the room, I found the female patient all positioned and draped for a Foley and the intern standing at the side of the bed with sterile gloves and the Foley in his hand.

"I need help," he said. "There are three holes there. How do you know which hole to put it in?"

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

Busy med/surg unit -- 31 patients and I was the only nurse. The intern wanted a Foley inserted in one of his patients, and I told him that I'd get to it as soon as I finished my med pass. That wasn't soon enough for him, so he offered to do it himself. I was young then, and not wise in the ways of interns. I let the CNA take him through the supply room to get what he needed, and he went off to insert the Foley. Imagine my surprise when, a few minutes later, I heard a distinctive MALE voice calling for help from within the room of two FEMALE patients. In the room, I found the female patient all positioned and draped for a Foley and the intern standing at the side of the bed with sterile gloves and the Foley in his hand.

"I need help," he said. "There are three holes there. How do you know which hole to put it in?"

OMG LMAO!!!!

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Busy med/surg unit -- 31 patients and I was the only nurse. The intern wanted a Foley inserted in one of his patients, and I told him that I'd get to it as soon as I finished my med pass. That wasn't soon enough for him, so he offered to do it himself. I was young then, and not wise in the ways of interns. I let the CNA take him through the supply room to get what he needed, and he went off to insert the Foley. Imagine my surprise when, a few minutes later, I heard a distinctive MALE voice calling for help from within the room of two FEMALE patients. In the room, I found the female patient all positioned and draped for a Foley and the intern standing at the side of the bed with sterile gloves and the Foley in his hand.

"I need help," he said. "There are three holes there. How do you know which hole to put it in?"

It's astonishing that many men do not know even the basics of female anatomy. It's inexcusable that a doctor (even an intern) wouldn't have this basic knowledge.

[WoundedBird]

My first ED trip as an athletic training student was with an athlete for severe dehydration. I wasn't too worried because I was given the heads up that the athlete just needed IV fluids and he'd be on his way. Then along comes the resident with the news that they were going be running more tests because his blood work showed signs of kidney failure. The look on the face of the kid was one of utter shock and I was floored because I thought I was given an "easy" ED visit. Turns out the resident was too focused on the outta whack lab values to look at the big picture.

And don't ask about the time I went to urgent care to avoid the inept student health center on campus only to be told that if my golf ball of an anterior cervical lymph node didn't go away in a week that I'd be referred to an oncologist bc I might have cancer. My clinical instructor stopped me in the doorway of the athletic training room and said that I had mono and was not allowed at clinicals until I had a negative blood test. 10 days later after a trip home to my own doc, the blood work confirmed mono. I think I should have walked out of urgent care when the MA couldn't balance the scale correctly...

[BostonFNP, APRN]

It's astonishing that many men do not know even the basics of female anatomy. It's inexcusable that a doctor (even an intern) wouldn't have this basic knowledge.

It's not just men! I have seen female graduate students confused about things!

As far as my "stupidest" thing: my wife was 8mo pregnant and while we were away visiting relatives she developed acute retroperitoneal pain so I took her to the local ED. The ED intern saw her and was immediately awkward; I told him that she really needed a renal ultrasound. His response: I don't know if we can do ultrasounds on pregnant women.