Supportive Significant Other!!

Nurses General Nursing

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I currently have full custody of my 11 year old sister and I want to go to the community college here in West Palm for the CNA program.

I talked to my Boyfriend of 5 years about it and he says that he will not watch her during the time I am away. She will be at school during the day, I would be at work during the day. I was thinking to take night classes. He gets home around 6pm from his job everyday. My sister gets home around the same time.

He is always home, yet he said he does not want to raise her. I have someone who might help me watch her. I'd hate to just drop her off there everyday even though she's a close friend. I would deff. pay her. But as a boyfriend, do you think he should be supportive of me and it be would no problem to watch her. He really doesnt even need to watch her, she will be doing her chore every night and take a shower then go to to a different room. She is a good kid, listens well and keeps out of the way.

Parents are out of the picture and I really dont have much of a family to help me. My foster parents live miles away. What would you do?

Its only a 3 month course, I'd like to continue school for LPN.

Every comment about it is most always negative comming from him. He really doesn't want me to get a job for myself, because more than likely I will work weekends and he stated that he will not watch her. I work for him at his shop and he pays me by giving me gas money, I drive his car and pays for my lunch and breakfast and wear and tear on vehicle.. I buy the groceries and animal food for the house with benefit money from the state for my sisters expenses.

I made sure during the custody battle that I'd clear it with him first in letting me care for my sister at his home. He agreed, yet he says this.

I have considered moving to my brothers foster parents which is closer to the college.

Or let my sister move there until I get done with school. Its either this or I move to Okeechobee County into my foster parents house, and that's a small town with one hospital and one nursing home, if the nursing home is even still around.

Feeling afraid to leave, yes that thought crossed my mind. I have foodstamps and medicaid for my sister. I will check into housing benefits.

Lina - It looks as though he has everything in place...you are young and he can mold you into what he wants. Mustlovepoodles was sooooo right! He, more than likely, will not support your efforts and will make it more difficult for you to succeed. It is hard to accept help from others (at least for me), but you have to! There are so many programs in place to help you out. Do what is best for you and your sister.

Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

DO NOT WAIT - - GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, PACK YOUR BAGS AND RUN. THIS MAN MAY BE DANGEROUS.

You reveal a little bit at a time because you are afraid to even acknowledge his domination over you even in this forum. I, and many others, are concerned for you. GET OUT NOW.

Specializes in LTC.

I would worry about leaving her with him if this is the way he is going to act. Never know what heartless men might try to do...

You can do bettet than that.Think about your future,you are fairly young and life will provide you with many blessed opportunities you just have to figure out how to make right choices.If you have doubts in your mind about him maybe it is time to move on with your life. To have a family is like a blessing,and blood is thicker than water so no boyfriend,husband or anyone at this point should interfere between you and your familial ties,take care of your sister,she is younger she needs your support~~~~~~~~

Specializes in Med Surg, Cardiac.

Wow, this situation sounds familiar. My son's father and I broke up because I was becoming more independent. He left me hoping that I would be stuck in a bad situation and unable to continue school. It sounds as if he is trying to do the same to you. My son's father refused to look after him while I worked and because of that, I had to ask my aunt babysit for me. I had to put school aside for one year to work and I was miserable. Finally, I grew tired of trying to reason with him and trying to make him keep his own child so I looked into some schools in Atlanta and found some scholarships that helped me to concentrate on finishing school and not work so much. My life has changed so much within one year. I am starting nursing school next semester and I am engaged to a wonderful supportive man who I credit for pushing me to not give up on my dream. If I had still been in my last relationship, I would still be working at walmart wishing that I could finish school. Never give up on your dream! Never let anyone hold you back from what you want to do in life. You deserve someone who will love you and support your dreams. I think he is jealous! Get rid of that black cloud over your head!

Specializes in AA&I, research,peds, radiation oncology.
Feeling afraid to leave, yes that thought crossed my mind. I have foodstamps and medicaid for my sister. I will check into housing benefits.

This is a great start!!:yeah: These programs are to help you until you can help yourself-which is exactly what you are doing. Look for housing benefits-they're out there and just do it. I'm praying for you and your sister!!:loveya:

Thank you so much you guys! Im encouraged to leave!

mamamerlee Your correct on that comment!

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
tabacue!! so true!! he is a divorced man with two kids of his own. i am 24 years old. and he is 36. so that maybe why he doesnt want to watch my sister. his son 16 years old lives with us. full time. his daughter 8 years old lives with the mother.

there are so many danger signals here -- run!!!!

I also agree with what so many others are saying: your sister needs to come first! I think on some level you realize that.

I might also point out how damaging it would be for your 11 year old sister to be living in a home where it is SO obvious that one of the people living in the house *really* doesn't want her there. If I were her, I'd be hurt, insulted, and very uncomfortable in what was supposed to be my home too. That's no way to live for anyone, let alone a child.

He sounds rather selfish, and you don't at all.

Consider moving on with your life. If you choose to stay involved with him, fine, but living with him may not be in all of your best interests. Good luck!

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