A new grad, young nurse landed her DREAM job. Or what she thought would be her dream job in ICU. After orientation and on her own, she quit and said she thought she was dangerous and could kill a patient. The training was poor and the bullying was second to worst I have seen. That day she went home and gave up her life. Later, her parents notified the floor/ unit.
Now, obviously not every nurse under these circumstances has the same outcome. But, what can be done to change the (mean-girl- middle school) culture on floor? Who do you complain to? Who recognizes this as an issue with not just that nurse but many whom have left the floor for the same reasons?
How do you cope, who should be there to help nurses cope? Has this happened where you work?
Specializes in RN critical care,traveler,critical care float,CNA5.
What exactly is this person supposed to get used to? Just because this is the internet doesn't mean people should throw away their humanity and behave in an unbecoming manner.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
A new grad, young nurse landed her DREAM job. Or what she thought would be her dream job in ICU. After orientation and on her own, she quit and said she thought she was dangerous and could kill a patient. The training was poor and the bullying was second to worst I have seen. That day she went home and gave up her life. Later, her parents notified the floor/ unit.
Now, obviously not every nurse under these circumstances has the same outcome. But, what can be done to change the (mean-girl- middle school) culture on floor? Who do you complain to? Who recognizes this as an issue with not just that nurse but many whom have left the floor for the same reasons?
How do you cope, who should be there to help nurses cope? Has this happened where you work?
I'm not seeing any trend of nurses suiciding. I have had a couple of colleagues suicide over the years, but two in 40 years doesn't seem to be any sort of a trend.
There seem to be a lot of assumptions here. You're assuming that your friend had no stressors other than her job, or that the job was the primary stressor. You're assuming that the training was indeed poor (or do you have some proof of that?) and that not only was there actual bullying, but it had a direct role in the suicide. I've seen many, many new grads post about the "horrible bullying" they've seen or been subject to, and most of it seems to be nothing more than interactions that they've found unpleasant. So many of the youngest staff don't seem to understand workplace relationships, how to accept negative feedback or even how to function without constant praise.
You also seem to assume that the culture on the floor is "mean girl middle school". Perhaps YOU don't understand the nature of workplace relationships, either.
Adults need to have coping systems in place. Adults are responsible for figuring out who is going to be there to help them cope and nurturing relationships so that they have someone there for them. The "someone" who should be there to help nurses cope is the relationship they've nourished, not someone that the workplace requires. Adults need to figure out what helps them to cope and to practice self care.
In the 90s, a physician I worked closely with overdosed -- it may have been an accidental overdose or it may have been suicide related to the financial and relationship problems he was having. In the 80s, a nurse taped a hose to the muffler of her car and ran it into her house where she'd gathered her pets and laid down with them to die. As her boyfriend had overdosed on Valium and Pavilion a week prior, it was widely assumed that his death (and her resultant financial burdens) may have been a factor. It's tragic, but not a trend.
Yes, people can be fragile, but I would argue, such fragility does not work well in a demanding profession like nursing. If you are so fragile that you would kill yourself and end a temporary situation so drastically, you need professional help. Nursing IS a helping profession, but we are not any different than others. We have our own needs, too. We are not caring angels sent from heaven, nor are we therapists. We are not well-trained, either, to recognize a person is in danger of harming themselves, if they keep it bottled up. That is a lot to put on nurses. Being kind is always best, but being real should not lead to a person ending it all.
Also in my experience, nursing is not more subject to suicidal tendencies in the profession than others. I know of no nurse who carried this out. But I knew 5 different men in the military who DID and no one knew they were even troubled. They covered it up darn well.
Tragic, the hole they left behind for their loved ones, and those who knew them was deep and could never be filled again. But I also know, they were damned determined to carry their suicides out, from the notes they left behind. No one knew this about them and they could not be stopped.
I tend to agree with you that nursing is a high stress job in many regards and that a person needs to be somewhat resilient - people who are overly sensitive and/ or take things personal usually do not last in this profession unless they switch to a setting that fits their needs better.
What exactly is this person supposed to get used to? Just because this is the internet doesn't mean people should throw away their humanity and behave in an unbecoming manner.
What that means is that on the internet you must expect just about anything. That's the world as it IS rather than the world as one would like.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
STAFF NOTE - this is a very sensitive subject and several posts have been reported. Please be mindful of your words...thanks...
I thank you. I agree. But I have a lot of trouble digesting that people in nursing are increasingly committing suicide or that a there is a trend to indicate this. Without actual statistics and reports, I suspend belief. It's not mean or insensitive to disagree that the nursing profession and perceived bullying is the ONLY reason such folks kill themselves.
Suicide has affected nearly all of us. I have had a close personal friend who died this way. But here is what I think of suicide that I saw on FB the other day:
Suicide does not solve my problems, it only passes them on to someone else.
I think it's pretty well established that healthcare workers are at a little bit higher risk of suicide than others, though I wouldn't call it a trend, and I think this tends to address doctors more than nurses. I saw an article the other day about veterinarians being more likely to commit suicide. You have people that have stressful jobs that they worked very hard to get and then maybe regret that, they may have financial problems from a ton of debt getting that job, and I think people that are prone to mental illness also tend to give too much of themselves, if that makes sense, and beat themselves up unnecessarily over mistakes made, real or perceived.
I'm a new grad with a long history of depression and as I've posted before, have had an increase of suicidal thoughts as of late. This is a "normal" reaction to stress for me. No bullying here- actually one thing I would not ever complain about at my work is bullying. All of my coworkers have been nothing but nice and patient with me. I can imagine it would be worse if they weren't, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump to bullying. There isn't always a "good reason" to be depressed or suicidal. It's internal and exacerbated by external stressors, which can include a job or might not, or may or may not include bullying. It can be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but to assume that is the sole or main reason for someone to be depressed or suicidal is a misunderstanding of what depressive disorders are, and oversimplifies a complicated problem.
ETA: and after reading the thread more carefully, I have to add that my parents were not helicopter parents or the type to blow sunshine up my butt. I also competed in different things and experienced failure many times from a young age well before nursing school. I was expected to get reasonably good grades, not a 4.0, so not a ton of pressure either. So let's not chalk this up to yet another issue to blame on the nature of millennials. I count myself among them, but was not really raised like one since my parents were much older than most. One of the greatest risk age groups for suicide is the elderly, so it's not a matter of people just being too gosh darn special of a snowflake, assuming the older generations are so much more resilient and reasonable than the younger.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
My heart goes out to you, Shelby. I hope you don't suffer too much this winter. I have a history of problematic depression and it really got me down. I have to stay on top of my meds and use a SAD lamp in winter.
I feel for anyone suffering depression. It can be debilitating and isolating.
In my first position in OB nursing (my absolute dream), I was given quite a hard time. They would throw me into situations I was not ready to tackle, like postpartum hemorrhages, and let me struggle. There was zero handholding or encouragement/positive feedback but just all words about how I was lacking. The doctors were frustrated with me, cause I was no help in such situations; the patients had no confidence in me cause I did not know what I did not know and they could sense it. I felt like a fool.
I wanted to quit. I would get stomach aches on workdays. I would not sleep at night. I told my husband I wanted to quit and he said "so quit, it's not worth it". But I did not really want to quit; I wanted to succeed. OB was my dream all through nursing school and I was not about to give it up so easily.
I realized, I could either fight or flight. I decided to fight. I told these "mean" girls they could either teach and train me to be a valuable team player who could jump into any emergency and do her part, or one who was a burden who did not know what to do. I called them on their meanness, like when one threw a (clean) trash bag in my face and demanded I clean up a post-delivery room. I called her on that and told her I would not tolerate her throwing things in my face and talking to me that way.
It changed. Slowly. Not overnight. But I showed them I was not going to be chased off, tail between my legs, or run to the manager and tattle. I knew what was going on. It was not right, but I knew how to stop it. And I did.
2 years later, these "mean girls" where throwing me a surprise baby shower. I was definitely part of the team, and if not loved, at least, respected by them.
Sometimes we have to buck up and be strong. I am not saying at ALL, bullying and lateral violence should ever exist. Clearly, they should not. But I also knew, having been bullied in middle school, how these folks think, and that it's about their insecurities, not mine.
Clearly, I did not have all the psychological elements of the suicidal person. Suicide or self-harm never crossed my mind once. I feel for those for whom this seems a reasonable, viable option to end the horrific pain in their lives. It's no joke and it's real. But I also know there MUST be a heck of a lot more going on in a person who would chose such a final end to temporary problems.
Absolutely loved your post. I would definitely agree that's how I would personally handle that type of situation as a new grad. What those nurses did on your OB floor was cruel and I think it is the biggest problem in nursing, and something that desperately needs to be addressed. However, I have to disagree with you that we as nurses need to "buck up and be strong". The reason I say that because it only works for certain individuals. Again, to be clear, I know you made it clear that lateral violence and bullying should not exist, but what is more benevolent here: asking nurses to be more supportive of each other or telling new grads to suck it up?
I know for a fact SmilingBluEyes that you're not the type of person to tolerate that behavior. We know if we're not getting respect (because we're new, we need something explained, etc), we are busting our behinds to gain that experience and knowledge so those bullies have no choice but to respect us. However, I also realize that there are those nurses that wither and shrivel when faced with those challenges. And therein lies the problem. The only way we can solve the problem is the root cause, the behavior among nurses.
Also, I agree with you that there is no trend until there is concrete statistical data to back up the OP's claims. I think what we can all agree is that lateral violence and bullying is a huge problem in nursing, but it would be false and irresponsible to claim that suicide is often the aftermath. I think the case OP was referring to was isolated.
AbstracRN, BSN, CNA, RN
68 Posts
What exactly is this person supposed to get used to? Just because this is the internet doesn't mean people should throw away their humanity and behave in an unbecoming manner.