Suicide attempt while at school

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Ive been a school nurse for 3 years. Before this great adventure, I was hospital based and also did high risk outpatient OB case management. On Monday, I had the scariest nursing experience of my life. Im not handling it well and thought I might share it with other school nurses to help give me some insight.

Im a nurse at a middle school, have approx 740 6th, 7th and 8th graders. I was called to a classroom for an "emergency" I took off running, emergency bag in tow, arrived to the classroom to find one of my 8th graders on the floor convulsing and screaming about pain. Head to toe assessment, as fast as I could. She is well known to me, in fact had recently disclosed that she was pregnant ( long story short CPS referral, lots of visits with me in my office etc she is 13) At that point she screams out, "I just want to die." I ask, "did you take something" She responds, "yes when I got to school" We were in the process of a self inflicted drug overdose. My heart literally stopped. I instructed the teacher to call 911. Maintained airway, kept her conscious, kept her from hurting herself during convulsions. All the time I prayed that this child please not die!! Took paramedics 22 minutes to arrive. One of the most heart breaking moments was when the got her on the stretcher and she screamed "my name, please dont leave me!" I quickly hugged her, told her she was in good hands, that I had to stay to take care of the others. They wheeled her away and I lost it. I cried, I shook and felt like I was going to faint. It was at that moment I realized just how "alone" I am in this job. I have an AED, no narcan (yet) no oxygen, no code team. She will be ok. She is getting the care she needs. We move on. Im having terrible nightmares. I keep dreaming that 3 of my kids do it at the same time, in different places and I cant get to them.

Has anyone else encountered anything like this? Have any of you ever been overwhelmed by the thought that you are the only nurse in your building and that your resources, both materially and in other medical support persons, is incredibly limited?

I have made an appt with a counselor for myself. The emotions of this are exhausting.

Any words of advice? Thank you in advance!!!

Wow, hugs to you. I've only dealt with this when I worked inpatient psych, so I had my "teammates" to process with. It's way harder in a school setting. Definitely follow through with the counseling-- you need to take care of yourself. How lucky for that girl that she has your support.

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

So proud of you and in awe. In a hospital you'd have four or more people around you sharing the load. That's sort of what we're for - sharing the load.

I have no more to add. You did a great job. If you find that you can't get this out of your head, see if your district has an employee assistance program.

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Cas, please check in with us again when you are up to it. We want to be here for you.

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Hugs and prayers for you and your student.

Handled like the true professional that you are!! Good job!

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Specializes in School Nurse.

Great job!!! You did what needed to be done to save that girl's life. That student was very lucky to have you there, and I'm sure she and her parents are very thankful you were there.

Kudos to you for seeking help to process your emotions. So many times people think that nurses can handle anything. We are just human, have emotions, and it affects us deeply to see a student we know in crisis.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

You made due with what you had on hand. And it seems you did a fine job of that, even if the only thing you have on hand is your self and your own training. Well Done, you've done the profession proud.

Take a moment for yourself. Go home and put your sweats on and watch a few episodes of The Office and allow yourself to FEEL. You want to cry. Cry. You want to laugh. Laugh. There is no wrong or right way to feel.

Then once the dust settles go back into work tomorrow knowing that YOU are the person that makes the difference between life and death around there. And that things have to change. That your school needs to be debriefed in this incident and that while you're not expecting a full on trauma team, it would be to everyone's benefit to at least have some designated people to respond to assist with some of the tasks during an event such as this. To the squeamish staff, it doesn't even have to be patient care - remind them that something as simple as crowd control or clearing the classroom is huge.

I am fortunate enough to live in a state that has both Janet's law (aed's in all schools with a team of cpr trained staff to respond to emergencies required) and legislation taking shape for narcan in the school. I was hesitant for the narcan and still hold the hope that it will sit unused before i need it. but I have a nasty way of having to eat my own words.

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Specializes in school nursing/ maternal/child hospital based.

I can not thank you all enough for the words of support and encouragement.

This incident was on Monday, I guess I left that out. Coming back to work Tuesday was a bit anxiety producing to say the least!! But we are nurses, we dust off and do it all again. I know I will be ok. Im just extremely sad, still in a bit of shell shock and not real pleased with the follow up we HAVENT had with staff or the kids. For instance, NOTHING was put out to the staff. NOTHING not a statement, not a meeting not an email. I understand FERPA, not everyone needs to know the details BUT... this is traumatic. The students know the truth, we all know they usually know more than we do. One of our school counselors came and talked with me right after I sent her out. I cried, I shook, I tried to process this. I later found out that many kids knew she had taken the pills and didnt report. I was in disbelief!! I sat in my office and hashed out my actions, replayed what I could have done better, heard her crying my name as she left. I spoke with my family. Called my daughter who is away at college and suffers from anxiety to tell her how much I love her and that she is so important in this world. Cuddled up with my 12 yo son that night ( who is a student at the school BTW) and watched the Olympics in my bed and ate cookies with him, told him how much he means to me and to my life. On top of the incident itself, the response or lack there of has me very upset. Statisically we know that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death amoung 10-24 yos. That is can come in "clusters" that education and support is what we need. IM BEYOND UPSET about this. I spoke to an administrator this morning and expressed my concern and dissatifaction with the way the aftermath is being handled. If I lose my job, so be it. I cant be quiet. I had a teacher come to my office the morning after and said" I hear you arent handling this very well" WTH!! She asked, "havent you seen a seizure before?" I said," Is that what you think happened?" When I explained that we had a child of ours try to end her life at our school and I fought to save her life for almost 40 minutes, she looked at me and said, "Oh my God, I didnt know. I would not be handling this very well either." (So maybe Im a little P.O'd too that people think my emotions about this are because I wasnt handling this very well. This makes me feel guilty for being shook, that as a nurse I should march on without being sad or angry or scared.

Again, this forum has been a God send for me as a school nurse. Ive been in this career for 25 years, and this is by far the hardest job that I have ever loved. The posts make we realize that I am not in this alone, that we all struggle with the same issues, that we love our kids like they are our own and would protect them and care for them above all else, I love that we can laugh at the same crazy stories and that the students we serve have people who have dedicated their working life to making their life and education better.

Thank you all for your comments of support and advice, I needed every one of them!!!!

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That's it.

it's settled.

We are all going on a cruise.

You keep looking at your face clearly in the mirror. You know you did what's right.

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Specializes in School Nurse.

Sound of heart breaking.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

Cruise...

Excellent idea!!

Since I have extensive cruise experience, I'm nominating myself as the cruise director. I'll plan all kinds of activities and events, like low impact, high alcohol intake, lounge chair aerobics, as well as virtual yoga by the pool. Not to worry though for those of you wearing a fit bit...I'l have the wait staff wear them for you so you'll keep the miles up to date.

OK, I'm packing...hmmm, sun screen, white cotton wife beaters, Dallas Cowboys speedo...what else?

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

Everyone can use an early vacation

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

Your district is doing these students a real disservice in not flooding your campus with counselors. You're right about the copycat events. Hang in there. I'm on board with the cruise and I'll meet you at the midnight chocolate buffet??

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