Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

[Moogie]

This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated!

Of course he's not a nurse!

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

My hubby was not feeling well so I said I told him I will give him something for it. So I pulled out a needless 10cc Syringe. I walked toward him with the syringe...the horror on his face was priceless.

Poor thing didn't know it was needless and it's impossible for me to stick em.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Not my spouse but when we were playing pictionary once one of my sons got "intestines" for his picture, when he was drawing it my younger son (age 6 at the time) goes, "I know what those are, INTESTICLES!!"

OMG I was dying from laughing so hard.

[escapebigd]

My sister in laws mother who is an RN told me when I was pregnant and about a week before giving birth that if I wanted to speed the process up just use a coat hanger to break my own water at HOME!

[Sue Damonas, BSN]

My sister in laws mother who is an RN told me when I was pregnant and about a week before giving birth that if I wanted to speed the process up just use a coat hanger to break my own water at HOME!

:omy:

[BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN]

Yep, that'll do the trick.

[callmekipling]

I always get a kick out of people asking me for health advice.

"My ears and my nose have been hurting so bad"

"yeah, you should see an ear, nose and throat doctor"

"but how do I know if its bad enough?"

"is it bad enough to call a doctor for?"

(in compliance with the thread topic, that was an ex asking me.)

My hubby was not feeling well so I said I told him I will give him something for it. So I pulled out a needless 10cc Syringe. I walked toward him with the syringe...the horror on his face was priceless.

Poor thing didn't know it was needless and it's impossible for me to stick em.

Sure you could hon, you just gotta push a little harder

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

I always get a kick out of people asking me for health advice.

"My ears and my nose have been hurting so bad"

"yeah, you should see an ear, nose and throat doctor"

"but how do I know if its bad enough?"

"is it bad enough to call a doctor for?"

(in compliance with the thread topic, that was an ex asking me.)

Sure you could hon, you just gotta push a little harder

lol!!!!!!!!

[sharpeimom]

i am recovering from a uti and had made a very quick trip to the john. easy, right? the handle on the john refused to budge so i could flush. my husband happened to walk by and eventually unstuck it and flushed. (i had been complaining for 2 days that my urine looked too concentrated, dark and strange) and after coming out, remarked that my urine was lighter and "was a different texture. " huh? i guess i slept through the pee having texture class... :smackingf

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

[Wingnut09]

Not a significant other, BUT...When I was a student, I got the opportunity to do a clinical with one of the students in the RN-to-BSN program. Since she was an RN, she was there to supervise the regular students. She started to tell me and a fellow student that cellulitis was an infection of the cellulite. No matter how many ways we tried to "suggest" that this might not be the case, she was insistent that cellulitis was a clear case of a cellulite infection. :hdvwl:

[L8RRN]

My brother-in-law's girlfriend called to update me on my mother-in-law, who had recently had pneumonia. She said they found cloudy spots on the chest x-ray on the same side as my mother-in-law's vasectomy 8 years ago. I asked her if she meant mastectomy (mil had breast cancer in the past) and she corrected me and said "no, VASECTOMY." I let just let it go and waited until I got off the phone to crack up. :-)

PS...MIL is fine so it is OK that it is funny.

[sharpeimom]

my brother-in-law's girlfriend called to update me on my mother-in-law, who had recently had pneumonia. she said they found cloudy spots on the chest x-ray on the same side as my mother-in-law's vasectomy 8 years ago. i asked her if she meant mastectomy (mil had breast cancer in the past) and she corrected me and said "no, vasectomy." i let just let it go and waited until i got off the phone to crack up. :-)

ps...mil is fine so it is ok that it is funny.

hmmm... i guess my husband must have had a mastectomy 10 years ago . . .

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

[MissBrittanyRN]

Shortly after learning about the reproductive system in high school my best friend who was an iceskater did some crazy jump-in-the-air spinny thing. I guess she spun a little too much because she pulled some type of muscle, fell onto the ice holding her abdomen screaming that she ruptured an ovary.....