That about sums up my day today. This is a rant post. Please add on if your day was also dumb.
1. 90% of my patients were morbidly obese and smelled of fumunda because they can't reach all their nooks and cranies when they bathe (if they bathe)
2. Gravida 13, Para 6, 7 spontaneous abortions with pelvic pain who left a tampon in her kooka for 2 weeks causing me to skip lunch. The smell is burned into my memory
That about sums up my day today. This is a rant post. Please add on if your day was also dumb.
1. 90% of my patients were morbidly obese and smelled of fumunda because they can't reach all their nooks and cranies when they bathe (if they bathe)
2. Gravida 13, Para 6, 7 spontaneous abortions with pelvic pain who left a tampon in her kooka for 2 weeks causing me to skip lunch. The smell is burned into my memory
They say there is a first time for everything, and I had a big surprise. I was seriously groped by a demented male patient....and I am a male nurse. My female co-workers laughed and said "now you know what it feels like", i guess they were right
A friend had a pt with pelvic pain and itching who turned out to have 3, ahem THREE, used condom left up there. The pts' response? Oh, I guess no more drunk sex ...
Oh my bloody hell..... and I would bet my house that there were three different DNA samples inside them.... this chick will eventually end up with every STD there is and a twin pregnancy with half-siblings.
Thank you so much for posting this rant, OP. I am LMAO!
A friend had a pt with pelvic pain and itching who turned out to have 3 ahem THREE, used condom left up there. The pts' response? Oh, I guess no more drunk sex ...[/quote']
Pelvic pain and discharge for 1 month...upon exam ER doc found a cockring wrapped around her cervix. She stated her bf used it on her 6 months ago!! How the eff do you lose one and more importantly how do you not know it's up there for SIX MONTHS????
Pelvic pain and discharge for 1 month...upon exam ER doc found a cockring wrapped around her cervix. She stated her bf used it on her 6 months ago!! How the eff do you lose one and more importantly how do you not know it's up there for SIX MONTHS????
Lol femunda the cervix lol how does a cock ring get on a cervix? That's some freaky relations
Oh c'mon now to all who are grossed out from googling fumunda...we ALLL at least encountered it once...or twice....or working with debilitated normal BMI- obese pts found on the floor confused after a week or more in their home...NOW you know the name.
For all those who thinks the triage nurse hates them......it's not just you. After spending 12 hours in the triage room, we hate everyone. There are days that I swear my intelligence is being slowly sucked out by the people who pass through the triage room. Things like, "so when did this start?" "oh, about an hour ago." Did you do something to hurt your back? Yes, I lifted a board. Okay. Well, I was seen 2 weeks ago at (insert any other hospital name here) for back pain, but the meds they gave me aren't working. Okay, so you've had this pain for a while. Yes, about 6 months, but it happened an hour ago. Really, does this make sense. Or, well, I passed out about 4 days ago. For how long? About 10 minutes, somebody brought me to. Really, and you didn't think to call 911 when it happened? Well, I was out of town. And of course the low abdominal pain who started her period today, but it's not like other period pain and well, I'm pretty sure I was pregnant even though my cycle is right on time.
Some days I wish I had Willie Wonka's golden egg scales. The all the bad eggs would just drop to the incinerator.
MassED, BSN, RN
2,636 Posts
LOL!!!! You work with me, don't you??