1st time death for CNA

Biffbradford · Nov 10, 2011

I don't think that's sadder, I think that's nice. They can always be together. People do die of broken hearts. I can't remember my first, unless it was my Dad, but that doesn't count here. It's hard learning to deal with death, but if they go peacefully, then it's much easier to cope with. :)

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Nov 10, 2011

What would have been sad is if they had taken him to the hospital, put him on a vent, put him on levels of Levophed so high that it caused necrosis in his extremities, and left him in on a vent for a month, tubes in every opening, and finally had someone like me smash every fragile bone in his chest doing CPR on someone for nothing. Death is not the worst thing that can happen. Believe me.

Instead, he passed away in what was his home, with his wife with him, peacefully and without pain. This is not a bad thing.

Jenni811, RN · Nov 10, 2011

Sounds like he was going peacefully and comfortably. Its what he wanted, which is why he didn't go the hospital. sometimes its difficult for people to understand these wishes, but they just want to end the suffering.

my first death of a patient was not a good one, it was someone who did not want to die. A young man with 2 teenage children. Something i won't share, because it wasn't a positive one.

12leakec · Nov 10, 2011

My instructor said that sometimes family members say "it's okay you can go now" is this a good thing? I'm not sure what to think of it?

*LadyJane* · Nov 10, 2011

The patient might be trying to stay for some sort of reason, and is lingering. Yes, it's a good thing for family to tell the patient that it's ok to go. The families often feel some sort of relief when death occurs, as they may have done plenty grieving prior to the death.

It's is a good idea for the nurse to examine his/her own feelings in regards to death. I guess if you believe that death is the end, and that there is no more after that, then it would be a thing to fight. If you believe that they are going to survive in some sort, and that this is only their body that is dying, it's much easier to get through.

You might try reading, "On Death and Dying" by Kubler-Ross. It is used in many nursing school, and it's very good.

Jane

yooperPN · Nov 10, 2011

Had my first death last night. I'm a midnight nurse in LTC and after a year and half, I finally experienced it. My resident died with his wife at bedside (she had been a nurse for 30+ years and actually worked at my facility for 18 yrs), she held his hand and continued to feel for a pulse. He went pretty suddenly, bounding pulse then nothing. He would've been 99 yrs. old tomorrow.

I wasn't sure how I'd take my first death. I've seen many actively dying, but they didn't go until after I left work. To be honest, I have a new feeling about death. I wasn't emotional, I was at peace with the whole process. It might be because I see these people suffer before they get into the actively dying stages, so when it's finally over I feel like their suffering is over.

allnurses Guide · Nov 10, 2011

My instructor said that sometimes family members say "it's okay you can go now" is this a good thing? I'm not sure what to think of it?

Sometimes the dying person will hang on.

Why?

Are they scared? Are they waiting for someone in particular to show up?

Who knows?

I have said this quite a few times myself.

Those words aren't bad words.

We are telling that person, that while we will miss them, we want them to let go of their discomfort and pain and move on and be peaceful.

I once had a little voice inside my head telling me, "You better go check on Ann!"

Sure enough, I entered her room and she was getting ready to go.

I stayed with her and told her I was there and I would stay with her, she was not alone and that it was okay to go.

I felt she was afraid to die alone.

Just my feeling.

I held her hand and just sat with her until she passed.

Again, those aren't bad words, but words some people may need to hear.

allnurses Guide · Nov 10, 2011

one of my classmates asked why the nurses weren't sending him to the hospital or helping him to feel better.

not everyone should be saved... nor can they be.

we all must die sometime and far better to do it in your own bed with the ones you love by your side than put through the hell of being "saved" in the hospital.

also, being "saved" does not guarantee any respectable quality of life.

one of your most valuable roles as a cna is to provide good solid comfort care and support for the dying.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Nov 10, 2011

Death is a brutal thing... watching it is even more more brutal.

You will witness many deaths. Realize that even though he was "conscious" he was unaware that he was dying. That is natures way.

Utilize any help your agency offers in dealing with this.

Sometimes... we are too sensitive to deal with this final reality. Don't feel this makes you weak. You may need to move somewhere that does not expose you to this.

Take care.:hug:

systoly · Nov 11, 2011

12leakec (I love that user name),

what you and your classmates are feeling and asking is perfectly alright.

We enter this field with a desire to make pt.s better. Death seems like failure, defeat, the unacceptable even. We cannot prevent death. Sometimes we can postpone it, but at what cost, I mean quality of life. The only control one has over death is to have advance directives. This is where we sometimes must fight our personal feelings and believes in order to honor someone else's wishes.

While we cannot prevent death, we often times can lessen the pain, emotional as well as physical, for all involved. End of life care often goes against our can I say instinct (to preserve life), because it seems it is the opposite of what we should do, such as embracing dehydration.

While it may never be easy to accept death, you will be able to take comfort in the fact that you were there to help.

9livesRN, BSN, RN · Nov 11, 2011

I did not have a peaceful experience, I was a student helping a nurse care for a CA patient, then we went for lunch, when we came back, the nurse told me to go tell her her family was here, when I opened the door she was handing by the side rail, dead. It scared the living Jesus out of me, but I was strong to comfort the husband, son, and little daughter, however that scene was in my mind all the time, sometimes when leaving the hospital at night, I would run through the dark parking lot... I would see her, again, and again.

I am over it now, will be by the bed side until your last breath, but am not comfortable with post mortum care