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Sometimes it's impossible not to giggle...

Posted

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing. Has 1 years experience.

I'm a psych nurse in an acute care psychiatric hospital. Nothing seems to phase me anymore when it comes to psychosis. Just when I think I've heard it all, a patient will do or say something so off-the-wall it's nearly impossible not to giggle.

Of course I had to ask the patient why they were admitted, in their own words, during their initial nursing assessment...

The only thing I knew about the patient was she was a middle-aged female, with psychosis, and that she had set her car on fire. When I asked her why she would set her car on fire she said in a matter of fact tone "So God could cook his BBQ!"

I had to grab a tissue from the table to cover my giggle and act like I was blowing my nose, quickly excusing myself from the table so I could go to the back and have a good laugh that I no longer could control. I couldn't help it, I rarely ever have that reaction. I just totally wasn't expecting that response!!! Wow! Geodon and Seroquel STAT!

Anyone else have a good giggle recently? :)

I can relate! I was sitting with my preceptor while she was admitting a patient to a psych facility and I had to get up and go to the bathroom because I was about to BUST out laughing. I giggled a little bit and tried to play it off with a cough and covering my mouth, but I couldn't.

She asked the patient, "Where are you working at now?" and the patient says, "Oh, I'm with NASA. We just got done working on the craters up there and then another one erupted."

She was sooo dead serious too. I hear the funniest things and that's part of what I love about it.

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych. Has 20 years experience.

The only thing I knew about the patient was she was a middle-aged female, with psychosis, and that she had set her car on fire. When I asked her why she would set her car on fire she said in a matter of fact tone "So God could cook his BBQ!"

Sounds like a reasonable answer to me......;)

How about the elderly, demented gentleman who used to yell "Fire in the hole!!" just before catapulting himself out of bed?

It was group time.

I was listening to this exchange between the MHA and a rather psychotic patient (I'll call Mary):

MHA: How about you, Mary? You like animals?

Mary (flat affect): A kitten came to my door once.

MHA: Aw! Did you keep it?

Mary (with animated glee): I put it in the microwave for two minutes!

I started choking and had to leave.

CP2013

Specializes in ED, trauma.

My 90+ female patient told me she was single and ready to mingle, and asked why she couldn't have a cute male nurse or some nice male doctors. She also advised me that she would never go to a nursing home because the old men don't know how to do it right.

I couldn't even try to hold back my laughter. It just came out. She was a hoot and a holler though. Her family members were VERY embarrassed but she was absolutely serious. Bless her heart, but if I was over 90, with only a new onset problem, and looked as good as she does (she either had work done, or just aged REALLY well), I can't say I wouldn't be thinking the same thing!!!

merlee

Has 36 years experience.

When I was doing my psych rotation in school, I was sitting in on the morning 'group' session. A patient admitted late the evening before introduced himself as a 'depressed maniac' and told us he was the brother of a very well-known judge. He had run out of his lithium, and that was why his 'maniac' symptoms had returned.

I took care of a woman who had been early for her doctor's appt, and decided to jump out of a window. 17 floors up, her fall was broken by an awning, and she broke her legs. Her comment was 'I guess I wasn't ready to die yet'.

I graduated in 1974. So this was a loooong time ago!

In a LTC I once worked in one of my patient's was a bit crazy, but looked "normal". Anyways, she tended to act as a parrot of sorts and overheard us talking about CXR's for PPD + workers. One day a new CNA came on the floor for their first day of orientation when my patient asked him for his CXR. He was unaware he needed it, as his PPD was negative, and just looked a bit surprised, and said no. She proceeded to kick him off the unit until he could produce his CXR. I held my laughter for as long as possible and then ran after the poor confused CNA!

And just tonight I had a patient repeatedly calling me a snide, snobby, smarty pants. I held off my laughter knowing it would fuel her rage, but it eventually came out, then she threw a binder at me...

I have been doing clinicals for nursing school at a VA hospital. I had a patient that was alert and oriented, at first. He is a spinal cord patient, so I was assisting him with his AM care. All seemed good for the first 15 minutes then all the sudden the alert & oriented went out the window. He wanted me to get him a cigar and then take his luggage down to his limo. I had to chuckle once I left the room. Then for the rest of the day, he kept asking me when I was going to get his cigar. After speaking to the nurse, I found out that he has periods of being totally lucid and something flips a switch in him that makes him lose it. It is still neat to assist him, I never know where we are going. Sometimes he thinks he is in a hotel, other times an airport or train station. He must have liked to travel before he became ill.

PediLove2147, BSN, RN

Specializes in Pediatric Cardiology. Has 7 years experience.

We have a frequent flyer at our hospital that brings his "wife" to the hospital with him. She is a doll. He won't go to tests without the RN confirming that she will be safe in the room. She has her own wheelchair and sits in the room. And no, this guy is not being admitted to the psych unit! ;)

chevyv, BSN, RN

Specializes in Gero Psych, Ortho Rebab, LTC, Psych. Has 20 years experience.

We recently started having to wear lab coats over our clothes. I work psych and we aren't required to wear scrubs. When I questioned why on earth we had to wear these butt ugly lab coats, I was told that our director was talking shop with a pt for over 20 minutes regarding the facility before the director realized she was talking to a pt and not a staff member! Must have been quite a conversation :)

AtivanIM

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing. Has 1 years experience.

How about the elderly, demented gentleman who used to yell "Fire in the hole!!" just before catapulting himself out of bed?

You got me beat hands down! That is hilarious!

We have a frequent flyer at our hospital that brings his "wife" to the hospital with him. She is a doll. He won't go to tests without the RN confirming that she will be safe in the room. She has her own wheelchair and sits in the room. And no, this guy is not being admitted to the psych unit! ;)

That's funny! You know, he probably doesn't belong on a psych unit! I get frustrated sometimes when we have patients transferred to the "intensive psych unit" because of something they said or even did that really didn't amount to much in my opinion. Sometimes, if they have a history of being a psych patient, staff will even take something they say out of context because "they must be delusional."

I had a patient who really was a true blue psych patient who started talking about a local chemical company blowing up. She said, "there was arms everywhere." Everyone assumed it was part of her delusions, but I looked it up after I got home, and the chemical plant really did explode way before I was born!

The other day, I was assisting one of the female residents down to the afternoon social. As she walked by one of the gentleman resident's room, she hollered out, "Hi Harry!" Naturally, this resident did not even look up from the paper he was reading because "Harry" is not his name! As we moved past the room, the female resident looked at me and said, "You know, he takes me for granted!" I had all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing!!

NutmeggeRN, BSN

Specializes in kids. Has 25 years experience.

In my psych rotation, when doing my assesment on a lady, I asked whey she had set fire to her apartment...her answer "I needed to redecorate...."

logank622

Specializes in LTC & home care. Has 2 years experience.

Many years ago I was the activities director for an assisted living community that had a dementia unit. I made a new friend (Mr. P) on that unit, and he loved to go on the van rides around town. Every time I would go up to the unit, he would yell "Ollie! Ollie! Are we going on a van ride today?" ("Ollie" is nowhere close to my real name - he came up with it out of nowhere.) We tried to tell him my real name - it wouldn't stick. I just figured I reminded him of a nephew, grandson, etc. from his past. Ollie became my new nickname with all the staff.

One day one of the aides asked him "Why do you call him Ollie?" His matter-of-fact response: "Because Oliver is too formal." Of course it is.

Once, his daughter overheard him calling me Ollie and asked how long he had been doing that. I told her he had called me that from the beginning and I asked who Ollie is. Her amused response: "Ollie is his dog!"

had a patient last week - he had moments of lucidity interspersed with moments of hilarity...anyway when discussing going to an assistive facility his answer - "I can't go there - those women want sex and I can't give it to them!" Needless to say his roommate was less than impressed (an A&O 50 year old)...

and after using the bedside commode and my CI was browbeating me over something stupid he said to her "hey lady - can you grab a napkin and wipe my d!ck - I can't reach it"...I physically had to turn my back or I was going to rupture!

nrsang97, BSN, RN

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg. Has 19 years experience.

There was a little old man up in the bathroom and the nurse trying to help him get cleaned up...

Pt: "I have a bunch of s*** to do today and you just wont let me do it."

Nurse: "Well sir you just did a bunch of s***"

I think the whole hallway lost it. This guy just would not let his nurse help him get cleaned up, we had to call in a male reinforcement.

He was finally cleaned up and put back in bed.