Sometimes it's impossible not to giggle...

Ntheboat2 · Nov 18, 2012

I can relate! I was sitting with my preceptor while she was admitting a patient to a psych facility and I had to get up and go to the bathroom because I was about to BUST out laughing. I giggled a little bit and tried to play it off with a cough and covering my mouth, but I couldn't.

She asked the patient, "Where are you working at now?" and the patient says, "Oh, I'm with NASA. We just got done working on the craters up there and then another one erupted."

She was sooo dead serious too. I hear the funniest things and that's part of what I love about it.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Nov 18, 2012

The only thing I knew about the patient was she was a middle-aged female, with psychosis, and that she had set her car on fire. When I asked her why she would set her car on fire she said in a matter of fact tone "So God could cook his BBQ!"

Sounds like a reasonable answer to me......

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Nov 18, 2012

How about the elderly, demented gentleman who used to yell "Fire in the hole!!" just before catapulting himself out of bed?

allnurses Guide · Nov 18, 2012

It was group time.

I was listening to this exchange between the MHA and a rather psychotic patient (I'll call Mary):

MHA: How about you, Mary? You like animals?

Mary (flat affect): A kitten came to my door once.

MHA: Aw! Did you keep it?

Mary (with animated glee): I put it in the microwave for two minutes!

I started choking and had to leave.

CP2013 · Nov 18, 2012

My 90+ female patient told me she was single and ready to mingle, and asked why she couldn't have a cute male nurse or some nice male doctors. She also advised me that she would never go to a nursing home because the old men don't know how to do it right.

I couldn't even try to hold back my laughter. It just came out. She was a hoot and a holler though. Her family members were VERY embarrassed but she was absolutely serious. Bless her heart, but if I was over 90, with only a new onset problem, and looked as good as she does (she either had work done, or just aged REALLY well), I can't say I wouldn't be thinking the same thing!!!

merlee · Nov 19, 2012

When I was doing my psych rotation in school, I was sitting in on the morning 'group' session. A patient admitted late the evening before introduced himself as a 'depressed maniac' and told us he was the brother of a very well-known judge. He had run out of his lithium, and that was why his 'maniac' symptoms had returned.

I took care of a woman who had been early for her doctor's appt, and decided to jump out of a window. 17 floors up, her fall was broken by an awning, and she broke her legs. Her comment was 'I guess I wasn't ready to die yet'.

I graduated in 1974. So this was a loooong time ago!

artsmom, BSN, LPN · Nov 19, 2012

In a LTC I once worked in one of my patient's was a bit crazy, but looked "normal". Anyways, she tended to act as a parrot of sorts and overheard us talking about CXR's for PPD + workers. One day a new CNA came on the floor for their first day of orientation when my patient asked him for his CXR. He was unaware he needed it, as his PPD was negative, and just looked a bit surprised, and said no. She proceeded to kick him off the unit until he could produce his CXR. I held my laughter for as long as possible and then ran after the poor confused CNA!

And just tonight I had a patient repeatedly calling me a snide, snobby, smarty pants. I held off my laughter knowing it would fuel her rage, but it eventually came out, then she threw a binder at me...

PalmHarborMom · Nov 19, 2012

I have been doing clinicals for nursing school at a VA hospital. I had a patient that was alert and oriented, at first. He is a spinal cord patient, so I was assisting him with his AM care. All seemed good for the first 15 minutes then all the sudden the alert & oriented went out the window. He wanted me to get him a cigar and then take his luggage down to his limo. I had to chuckle once I left the room. Then for the rest of the day, he kept asking me when I was going to get his cigar. After speaking to the nurse, I found out that he has periods of being totally lucid and something flips a switch in him that makes him lose it. It is still neat to assist him, I never know where we are going. Sometimes he thinks he is in a hotel, other times an airport or train station. He must have liked to travel before he became ill.

PediLove2147, BSN, RN · Nov 19, 2012

We have a frequent flyer at our hospital that brings his "wife" to the hospital with him. She is a doll. He won't go to tests without the RN confirming that she will be safe in the room. She has her own wheelchair and sits in the room. And no, this guy is not being admitted to the psych unit!

chevyv, BSN, RN · Nov 19, 2012

We recently started having to wear lab coats over our clothes. I work psych and we aren't required to wear scrubs. When I questioned why on earth we had to wear these butt ugly lab coats, I was told that our director was talking shop with a pt for over 20 minutes regarding the facility before the director realized she was talking to a pt and not a staff member! Must have been quite a conversation :)

AtivanIM · Nov 19, 2012

How about the elderly, demented gentleman who used to yell "Fire in the hole!!" just before catapulting himself out of bed?

You got me beat hands down! That is hilarious!