Sometimes it's impossible not to giggle...

Nurses Humor

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I'm a psych nurse in an acute care psychiatric hospital. Nothing seems to phase me anymore when it comes to psychosis. Just when I think I've heard it all, a patient will do or say something so off-the-wall it's nearly impossible not to giggle.

Of course I had to ask the patient why they were admitted, in their own words, during their initial nursing assessment...

The only thing I knew about the patient was she was a middle-aged female, with psychosis, and that she had set her car on fire. When I asked her why she would set her car on fire she said in a matter of fact tone "So God could cook his BBQ!"

I had to grab a tissue from the table to cover my giggle and act like I was blowing my nose, quickly excusing myself from the table so I could go to the back and have a good laugh that I no longer could control. I couldn't help it, I rarely ever have that reaction. I just totally wasn't expecting that response!!! Wow! Geodon and Seroquel STAT!

Anyone else have a good giggle recently? :)

We have a frequent flyer at our hospital that brings his "wife" to the hospital with him. She is a doll. He won't go to tests without the RN confirming that she will be safe in the room. She has her own wheelchair and sits in the room. And no, this guy is not being admitted to the psych unit! ;)

That's funny! You know, he probably doesn't belong on a psych unit! I get frustrated sometimes when we have patients transferred to the "intensive psych unit" because of something they said or even did that really didn't amount to much in my opinion. Sometimes, if they have a history of being a psych patient, staff will even take something they say out of context because "they must be delusional."

I had a patient who really was a true blue psych patient who started talking about a local chemical company blowing up. She said, "there was arms everywhere." Everyone assumed it was part of her delusions, but I looked it up after I got home, and the chemical plant really did explode way before I was born!

The other day, I was assisting one of the female residents down to the afternoon social. As she walked by one of the gentleman resident's room, she hollered out, "Hi Harry!" Naturally, this resident did not even look up from the paper he was reading because "Harry" is not his name! As we moved past the room, the female resident looked at me and said, "You know, he takes me for granted!" I had all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing!!

Specializes in kids.

In my psych rotation, when doing my assesment on a lady, I asked whey she had set fire to her apartment...her answer "I needed to redecorate...."

Specializes in LTC & home care.

Many years ago I was the activities director for an assisted living community that had a dementia unit. I made a new friend (Mr. P) on that unit, and he loved to go on the van rides around town. Every time I would go up to the unit, he would yell "Ollie! Ollie! Are we going on a van ride today?" ("Ollie" is nowhere close to my real name - he came up with it out of nowhere.) We tried to tell him my real name - it wouldn't stick. I just figured I reminded him of a nephew, grandson, etc. from his past. Ollie became my new nickname with all the staff.

One day one of the aides asked him "Why do you call him Ollie?" His matter-of-fact response: "Because Oliver is too formal." Of course it is.

Once, his daughter overheard him calling me Ollie and asked how long he had been doing that. I told her he had called me that from the beginning and I asked who Ollie is. Her amused response: "Ollie is his dog!"

had a patient last week - he had moments of lucidity interspersed with moments of hilarity...anyway when discussing going to an assistive facility his answer - "I can't go there - those women want sex and I can't give it to them!" Needless to say his roommate was less than impressed (an A&O 50 year old)...

and after using the bedside commode and my CI was browbeating me over something stupid he said to her "hey lady - can you grab a napkin and wipe my d!ck - I can't reach it"...I physically had to turn my back or I was going to rupture!

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

There was a little old man up in the bathroom and the nurse trying to help him get cleaned up...

Pt: "I have a bunch of s*** to do today and you just wont let me do it."

Nurse: "Well sir you just did a bunch of s***"

I think the whole hallway lost it. This guy just would not let his nurse help him get cleaned up, we had to call in a male reinforcement.

He was finally cleaned up and put back in bed.

I'm not an RN, yet, but at my clinicals there's an elder woman who REFUSES to eat for anyone but the male in my class. She will scream, kick, and try to hit any of us females...especially blondes lol, but when he comes in the room she's all smiles and will eat her whole plate. She even told him that he needed to put a sign so everyone knew she was his =/

LOL!

I've had a client suddenly decide that I'm a male - even though never in my life have I heard I look anything like a male! She told me I was a "sexy young lad" and she asked me if I was "going home on the bus too" - it got to a point where I had to pretend to cough into my elbow repeatedly to stifle my laughs as I excused myself to go to the bathroom, in which I nearly fell on the floor from laughter. The other CNAs on the unit (I was working as a CNA at this time) never let me forget that one! We were laughing about it for weeks!

The other night, prescription drug OD, very combative 50s-ish female is getting a foley while 3 of us are holding her in place. She is bearing down all she can to keep it from going in. She farts (loudly) and all of us involved in holding her down and the RN putting in the cath jerk back fearing something else is going to come out and when we realize it was only a fart, all bust out laughing. She laughed too which also allowed the cath to go in. A win win.

The other night, prescription drug OD, very combative 50s-ish female is getting a foley while 3 of us are holding her in place. She is bearing down all she can to keep it from going in. She farts (loudly) and all of us involved in holding her down and the RN putting in the cath jerk back fearing something else is going to come out and when we realize it was only a fart, all bust out laughing. She laughed too which also allowed the cath to go in. A win win.

Oh gosh...this reminds me when I was doing my OB rotation and watched a woman deliver a baby. After delivery, when the doc was sewing her up, she kept passing gas...LOUDLY...and there were quite a few people in the room so the poor girl was mortified.

The doctor lifted his leg up and said "Ahhh" as if he were relieved. Then, when she did it again, he was like, "I knew I shouldn't have had those beans for lunch."

It was so funny and I'm sure in some weird way it made her feel better!

An otherwise cognitively intact patient had an acute episode of delirium/psychosis including extreme paranoia.

The doctor arrives on scene and the patient, who had been trying to escape and rescue the other trapped patients on the way, admitted he was hearing offers of sexual favours over the PA.

The doc looks at him and says, "And you want to leave!?"

Specializes in Psychiatric nursing.

My favorite on an acute psychiatric unit: A older man decided to rub butter on his chest and put mustard on his member then run up and down the hallway naked. I will never be the same after seeing this. :)

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