Something is wrong with me. Guess I shouldn't be a nurse

[ijuanabhappy]

After a few failed attempts over the last year at finding a nursing job I am suited for, this relatively new nurse is at a loss. I think there must be something wrong with my brain. I am disorganized, horrible at time management, cannot do several things at once, I move slower than most. This is all when I am learning a hundred new things at once mind you. I have anxiety and have noticed that in nursing jobs, there is not as much time allowed for learning compared to my previous occupations prior to nursing school. (which I always excelled at) I guess I'm so detail oriented that it becomes counter productive. When learning things that are new, I tend to focus intensely on one thing at a time and all of the other information or things I am supposed to be doing at the same time are out the window! I also have to do things over and over repetitiously before I can pick up speed at it; not just a few times of watching someone else and then doing it once or twice. I know I have some OCD, but now I'm wondering if I have ADD because I cannot focus on all of these things and feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed with fear because of my disorganization. Ugh.

It's too bad because I am super compassionate and very perceptive to the feelings and emotions of others. I love talking to people and helping them solve their problems. I feel that I have a way of calming people down and relating well to people with "issues". Maybe I should have gone into social work. Or maybe I should have listened to that personality profile test and become a shrink!

[casi, ASN, RN]

I've worked with nurses in the past who sound a bit like you. They are fairly scatter brained, have trouble juggling patients and multi-tasking. Several of these people have gone into home health where they are one on one with patients and have absolutely flourished.

It also sounds like you maybe having some trouble with finding what are the right medications for you. It might be worth working with a psychologist and a psychiatrist to get your medications sorted out and to maybe get some help with your ability to focus and perform on the job.

I wish you the best of luck. One day you'll find yourself in the perfect position. You are a new nurse (like myself) and it's normal to be frazzled on ocassion.

[caliotter3]

Try doing extended care in home health. Working with one patient for an eight hour shift might be plenty boring to you, but it is a lot easier to manage, as well as low stress and geared more for the person who does not want to be overwhelmed. If nothing else, consider doing this type of work while you work on getting everything "together" as far as treatment, meds, etc. Best wishes.

[jmtndl]

Try Home Health before you give up. It is much less hectic than other areas of nursing, and a talent for talking with patients and a compassionate nature would be an asset.I have gone thru times of tremendous stress in my life, and my home health patients were a joy to care for.I never dreaded getting my day started.We need all the compassion we can get...hang in there!

[FLArn]

If your career placement tests indicated you might be a good "shrink", maybe psych nursing would be a good fit for you. You won't know unless you give it a try.

[VioletKaliLPN, LPN]

i mean this in a nice way. if your regular pcp is not experienced with mood disorders, add/adhd, and ocd, then you may need to look elsewhere. go and visit an actual psychiatrist. it also can take a few weeks to see improvements, so keep up with medications for a little while before you decide they are a no go.

my pcp is very experienced with depression/mood disorders, not all providers are.

check out homecare, psych nursing, or even clinic nursing. you may be able to find a good fit somewhere.

[ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN]

Do you all think, from what I have told you about myself, that I would succeed on an Oncology floor? I know I am disorganized and don't have the time management thing down, but like others have said... I never really gave myself a chance. Oncology is another area that has always interested me but it would be basically like a med-surg floor, right? Am I again setting myself up for failure in a position like this? I don't want to be a quitter or downer, but I do want to be honest with myself and my strengths vs. weaknesses. Anyone have experience on an oncology floor?

[SNIXRN]

Usually a person with OCD does not have ADD (one is over organized whereas the other is the opposite). Maybe you need to start off on a slower shift or floor?

[LouisVRN, RN]

Do you all think, from what I have told you about myself, that I would succeed on an Oncology floor? I know I am disorganized and don't have the time management thing down, but like others have said... I never really gave myself a chance. Oncology is another area that has always interested me but it would be basically like a med-surg floor, right? Am I again setting myself up for failure in a position like this? I don't want to be a quitter or downer, but I do want to be honest with myself and my strengths vs. weaknesses. Anyone have experience on an oncology floor?

No an oncology floor would not be a good fit for you. It is basically med/surg for patients with cancer. Who because they are often compromised from their cancer they dont have the ability to compensate and can crash very quickly and having an entire oncology population you have to have the ability to juggle multiple problems arising at once. That being said have you looked into palliative care and hospice nursing? These patients often have a lot going on and can really benefit for someone taking time "just for them" without you being distracted by a gazillion other things going on. Also they have less medical "interventions" which might be less stressful for you. I always thought I would love hospice nursing but have found that my ability to excel is in the time management and prioritization working medsurg.

[gapeachICU-nurse]

I am pretty appalled at some of these responses. I hope this nurse is doing fine in 2012. Can anyone cut her a break & teach her? Maybe give her some time to learn? It's not rocket science, but it is almost neurosurgery when no one will even give you the time of day. No other nurse would be where they are now if someone didn't lend them a hand at some point. Get whatever help it is you think will make you successful. Maybe a coach, some motivation, a mentor, or whatever and then go somewhere where the nurses are caring, stand your ground, and I'm sure you will do just fine. Kudos.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

you say your doctor has trialed you on a couple of meds and they were not helpful. two questions: were you formlly evaluated for the diagnoses he thought you had by an actual psychologist/psychiatrist, or is he a pcp? and since you describe signs of add +/- ocd, have you been formally evaluated for those?

i am sure your pcp is a nice person, and we know that the vast majority of psychoactives are prescribed by pcps, to whom they are very heavily marketed. however, since you don't seem to be happy with how things are going and you're not describing yourself a adequately functional with skills that, frankly, you'd need anywhere, why not book an appt with a professional with expertise in thee matters? what's the worst that could happen?

[ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN]

Thank you gapeachICU-nurse! Actually I just started working on a med-surg floor in a small hospital. For most of 2011 I was doing clinic nursing without any patient face to face contact and it became very boring for me. I am on my first week at this new hospital job and so far, I have a very patient, calm nurse training me and she is assuring me that all will be okay, that I will have plenty of time to learn, and they won't just throw me out there. I don't think I have ADD, just extreme anxiety that causes me to lose focus and feel scattered. I have been diagnosed with both generalized anxiety disorder and OCD in the past by a psychiatrist but I don't take any antidepressant medication because I don't like and cannot tolerate any of them. I'm going to give this med-surg thing a good, fair chance before I give up. Thanks :)

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

No time to read through all the responses so I apologize in advance if this is redundant.

Don't beat yourself up.

We're all wired differently. Great multi-taskers on the floor are often "big picture first" thinkers/learners...usually more inclined to lean heavily toward abstract thinking.

You sound like a concrete/sequential person, like possibly you start at point "A" and methodically work your way to point "B." These are the mathematics, research, and engineer folks!

Of course school was easy for you! In that setting it IS methodical learning, and even better you can tailor study time to your own learning style. For instance, I bet when you read a chapter, you sat down and started with sentence #1 and then line by tedious line worked your way to the end of the chapter. Am I right?

As far as hospital nursing goes, have you considered case management? Also perhaps look into departments such as Interventional Radiology or Diagnostic Imaging...one. patient. at. a. time...often stable, meds are limited to a few specific to the department. Yes, they need RN's too.

When you find the right fit that suits your strengths, you will shine!