Something fun: What would you REALLY like to say to new PARENTS?

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.

I thought this would be funny...."advice" that you would like to give new parents...if you could.

Mine:

"Please don't try to feed little Suzy baby food when she's two weeks old. Yes, she'll open her mouth, and yes, it will appear that she likes it, yes, she'll try to swallow it...but understand if you put dog poop in her mouth...she'll do the same thing."

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Specializes in med/surg/tele/neuro/rehab/corrections.

Are you crazy naming your kid that name!?!

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Specializes in ED.

Please, if you are coming to the ER with a child just discharged from the NICU after being 3 months premature with apnea alarms going off, please tell the registeration clerk know that exact information when you check in before going to sit down so I don't just go on to the next 10 people. Or just for fun call ahead so I know to expect you and will bring you out of a waiting room full of sick people quickly.

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Specializes in ED.

Also, medicate your child who has a fever before bringing them to the ER with an appropriate amount of tylenol. Or again for ***** and giggles, buy a thermometer.

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Also, medicate your child who has a fever before bringing them to the ER with an appropriate amount of tylenol. Or again for ***** and giggles, buy a thermometer.

Yeah, but if they give the Tylenol . . then the kid won't have a fever . . .and you won't believe them that the kid HAD a fever.

steph:coollook:

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Specializes in LTC.

Please don't leave your newborn unclothed for a long period of time. I understand that you want to explore his body and show it off. But for goodness sake he's losing heat via evaporation, and he doesn't have effective thermoregulation yet. Leave his colthes and blankets on him !

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I could have fun with this for HOURS!!! But then again, I'm tired and warped.

* I don't understand how people as stupid as you could figure out how to get pregnant!!

* If I told you his oxygen saturations drop everytime he sucks - THAT MEANS DON'T PUT A ******* BOTTLE IN HIS MOUTH!! It also means that I am not going to send you home with an O2 tank until his personal pediatrician is in the office and has time to see him.

I'd better stop, I've already delete several items because I thought better of it. I must really need a vacation!

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Specializes in ED.

oK, how about before you ever HAVE one of your own, if you feel the need to come to the ER for a pregnancy test cause you don't feel like paying for it, just close your legs.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I don't care HOW hard it is to fasten in: the infant seat will NOT keep your child safe in a crash if it is not anchored to the car seat itself!!

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Have you considered having your tubes tied since you now have 6 kids, with six different fathers and you are only 22?

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Specializes in L&D.

Just because you CAN have a baby, does not necessarily mean that you SHOULD.

Yes, you need to learn to change the baby. Who do you think will do it once you go home?

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Specializes in Psych, Med-Surg.

Ditto, tencat.

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