Something fun: What would you REALLY like to say to new PARENTS?

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I thought this would be funny...."advice" that you would like to give new parents...if you could.

Mine:

"Please don't try to feed little Suzy baby food when she's two weeks old. Yes, she'll open her mouth, and yes, it will appear that she likes it, yes, she'll try to swallow it...but understand if you put dog poop in her mouth...she'll do the same thing."

Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.

Didn't I see you on Maury Povich trying to figure out who your Last baby's daddy was? Are you sure?:)

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Specializes in HomeHealth / geriatrics.

OH man poor people wait until they get the baby home .... Good luck with sleep!!!! No REFUNDS lol

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

No, your baby cannot stay in the nursery for 10 hours with no formula if you do not want him to be brought out to you for feeds.

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Why did you chooze to reproduce?

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Your baby is only a few weeks old...he is not old enough to decide that he doesn't like his car seat. You, on the other hand are old enough to decide that he will ride in the car seat every time...no exceptions.

Needles hurt, but I am not sticking one in your baby just because I am a *****.

'Kgauyje' does not spell 'Gage.' Eyezek does not spell 'Isaac.' 'Brytkneigh' does not spell 'Brittany.'

Nurses are not going to change your baby's diaper unless the baby is the patient...flight attendants, waitresses, and pastor's wives are also not going to change your baby just because you think they should.

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Y

'Kgauyje' does not spell 'Gage.' Eyezek does not spell 'Isaac.' 'Brytkneigh' does not spell 'Brittany.'

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Oh please can we really say this??!!? :yeah:

steph

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

To the nitpicky father in my childbirth class who wanted the exact chemical make-up and consistency of breastmilk, (and belittling the nurse teaching the class for not knowing this) the exact time each phase of labor is, wanted to plan labor and delivery to the minute and why would he even want to think about or plan for deviations . . . . . . . . .

Babies don't give a crap. They do their own thing. If you think you think everything you plan out is going to be followed, think again. Your dear offspring has plans of his own. Oh and by the way . . . .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The fun hasn't even started yet. You are in for it . . . . .

Can you tell he annoyed me?:sofahider

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.
Oh please can we really say this??!!? :yeah:

steph

Maybe a copy of a "Commonly Misspelled Names" list can be attached to the form they fill out for the birth certificate . . . . .

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Oh please can we really say this??!!? :yeah:

steph

To be honest I don't see why not.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Maybe a copy of a "Commonly Misspelled Names" list can be attached to the form they fill out for the birth certificate . . . . .

HAHA that's a good one. Really we should be doing that/

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To be honest I don't see why not.

I was asking permission . . . . begging to be allowed to do so . . . .so if you think it is ok . . . then I'm gonna do it!! :yeah:

Thanks!:heartbeat

steph

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER.

A temp of 102 is NOT going to "fry" you 2yr olds brain, I am not going to rush him ahead of the other 38 people in the waiting room and pack him in ice. If you'd given the tylenol at home the temp would have been down by now!

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