Since I can't see myself as how others see me...

[MPKH, BSN, RN]

...how do I improve my communication and interaction skills with my fellow co workers?

I was told that there have been complaints against me from fellow LPNs (this isn't about LPN vs RN, I promise) that when they find me not approachable and that when they ask me for help, I am condescending, and give off the impression that I think they're stupid.

This shock me because I do not see LPNs in that light. Also, as not one of the LPNs had personally came up to me to tell me that they have a problem with me and my communication skills (or lack therefore), this came out of the blue. I was told that it's because they find me not approachable so they don't approach me and...I can't know there's a problem if nobody talks to me about it!

So how do I work to fix it? Because I don't want to continually give off the wrong impression.

Thanks

[Jules A, MSN]

Perhaps try making an effort to be a little more friendly just in general? That might make you seem more approachable. Maybe ask them if they need anything rather than waiting for them to ask? Compliment them on their work especially when the shift has been rough. Good luck. I bet they would appreciate it if they knew you were taking the comment seriously and working on fixing it.

[JustKeepSmiling, ADN, BSN, RN]

Let me know when you find out - I have the same struggle!!

I think I am very compassionate and high energy, I think sometimes that gets misunderstood for abruptness. I never intend to be rude or abrupt, I care very much. Seems to take people a while to really understand that about me :/

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Maybe in the next employee meeting you could mention it and tell your side of the story and then ask for suggestions. If you are seen as sincere in wanting to make things work, it may help.

One of the things I don't get sometimes is why we don't go to people and talk personally to them instead of behind their back?

[MPKH, BSN, RN]

[quote=Spidey's mom;

One of the things I don't get sometimes is why we don't go to people and talk personally to them instead of behind their back?

I don't get it either. I'd really have appreciated it if someone had talked to me about how I am seen vs how I think I am seen. I can't know what im doing wrong if nobody tells me. I'd rather be told what I did wrong instead of finding it out from another person.

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

I had the same problem, only I was told I was intimidating. I went to the nurses on a one to one basis and explained to them I wasn't trying to be intimidating and asked them what I do that it is perceived as intimidation. Now I am more mindful about how I respond to others. It's all about perception.

[JMCP]

SMile! fake it till you make it. sometimes bringing something to the unit for everyone helps. The reception of you is there so you're going to have to do a lot of outward/showmanship things to let people see you are approachable. Help others more than your average person, talk to people during your coffee break, ask people how they are doing. And smile, thats charitable also (:

[Jules A, MSN]

I don't get it either. I'd really have appreciated it if someone had talked to me about how I am seen vs how I think I am seen. I can't know what im doing wrong if nobody tells me. I'd rather be told what I did wrong instead of finding it out from another person.

They might have been afraid to talk to you.

[MPKH, BSN, RN]

They might have been afraid to talk to you.

I get that, but I can't improve on something if the people I offend doesn't tell me as it happens. I can't remember what I said that might be condescending, or take corrective action to fix the problem right then and there

[Libby1987]

I've had/have the same problem. After having a few of *those* meetings and feeling completely misinterpreted, I deal with it proactively by telling the new people on my team something like, "I'm terrible about having random ****** resting face, don't let it discourage you from telling me or asking me any questions.."

[Nola009]

The best short and sweet answer I can give is to approach them first. Say "hi, how are you?" first. Ask them if they need anything or comment on any general subject that won't cause friction. Then you will seem less intimidating:)

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I've had/have the same problem. After having a few of *those* meetings and feeling completely misinterpreted, I deal with it proactively by telling the new people on my team something like, "I'm terrible about having random ****** resting face, don't let it discourage you from telling me or asking me any questions.."

Oh my gosh I have that same face!! My entire life people have always said "smile!!". My resting face looks peeved.

I also have a habit of deep sighing . . .when nothing is wrong.