*Sigh* How do I tell my family?

[HisTreasure]

I want to be a Navy nurse. I know there is a Military board here, but this is more a general comment. *Sigh*. I was interested in joining the Navy Reserves as a BSN in a year and a half. It seems like a great opportunity and I can't let it go. I can't stop thinking about it. In fact, now I want to join Active Duty. My cousin has been in the Navy for 9 years and he's talking me into it even further. It just seems like such a great opportunity and I know it would make me a better person. The problem comes in that I have six small children (four biological and two foster) and everyone is making me feel bad about even considering going away for a couple of months to OIC. I am trying to let the dream go, but I can't. I just feel drawn to do it, ya know? DH has said I could hire a live-in nanny; it's something we tossed around for some time even before I started on my military kick, but then he'll say, "It's too bad you'll miss so much of your children's lives". Which is true, too. I don't want to miss their lives but it almost doesn't matter that I'll miss a couple of months because I think we will benefit in the long run. What can I do? How do I tell my family that even though I said I didn't really care if I joined or not, the truth is, I really want to?

[CHATSDALE]

what is the problem with your husband that would entail the need for a full time nanny? this is really expensive and i don't know if service pay will cover that much, and if your get someone who is less qualified than a nanny you might not be satisfied

i am not sure about the two foster kids if you would be allowed to remove them from home state for extended periods..but i know many 'service brats' and they are resilient and they have exposure to many experiences that stay-in-home-town kids will never have

i hope that you think long on the pros and cons about this..a real committment

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

Have you thought about the US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps? You can apply for a specific position, so you'd know where you'd live and have a steady schedule in the US.

Deployments are unusual, but do happen, usually for disaster-type scenarios. Here is an interesting video of a US Public Health Corp nurse. Click on the second video, Lt. Commander Pryor, Nurse:

http://www.usphs.gov/newsroom/profiles.aspx

He talks about his usual job and about deploying after the Tsunami for emergency aid.

You do need a BSN. More info:

http://www.usphs.gov/profession/nurse/

[HM2VikingRN, RN]

And they wear Navy uniforms!

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

And they wear Navy uniforms!

Yes! I am pondering this career opportunity. Maybe just so I can wear a Navy uniform and have people call me Lt. Commander!

Seriously though, it looks like a good career opportunity. The pay and benefits are good, too.

[HisTreasure, BSN, RN]

what is the problem with your husband that would entail the need for a full time nanny?

LOL. The problem is not with my husband, it's my children. They are a real handful. J/K! The nanny idea is one we've thrown around, hiring his aunt who used to keep them on a temporary basis for an extended period like she's been asking us for years. We just couldn't justify the additional $1000 a month expense with me home too. His career is as important to him as mine is to me. He's finally on the brink of breaking six figures and it's taken a LONG time, a demotion, and hard work to get here. He works different hours each week and I would want the children to have some stability if at all possible. BUT again, it's not possible right now and I am accepting that. I love Allnurses! You guys really help.

Have you thought about the US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps? You can apply for a specific position, so you'd know where you'd live and have a steady schedule in the US.

Deployments are unusual, but do happen, usually for disaster-type scenarios. Here is an interesting video of a US Public Health Corp nurse. Click on the second video, Lt. Commander Pryor, Nurse:

http://www.usphs.gov/newsroom/profiles.aspx

He talks about his usual job and about deploying after the Tsunami for emergency aid.

You do need a BSN. More info:

http://www.usphs.gov/profession/nurse/

Thank you for those links. It is something definitely worth considering!!!! This would certainly fit the bill. I am excited again! I would love to work with you nurses. You are really helpful.

***And NO, I wouldn't bring this drama talk to work with me. :) ***

[NewNurseyGirl2009]

This is not fair to your children. You chose them and they did not chose you. You wanted them and when you concieved and agreed to foster that is a a comittment that cannot and should not be broken, under any circumstances. I may get crucified for this comment but you are being selfish.

[KarynicaRN]

do what your heart tells you. if you miss this opportunity, you will regret it for the rest of your life. you will always look back and wish you had done what you felt was right for you.

then you have to think about the children. will you have proper daycare for them? will they miss you terribly and will this cause a severe problem with them? as other posters have mentioned, once you are assigned, you will be gone for long periods of time. you haven't much say over where you will be sent.

just spend some time thinking about the pros and cons. see which one outweigh the other.

[HisTreasure, BSN, RN]

This is not fair to your children. You chose them and they did not chose you. You wanted them and when you concieved and agreed to foster that is a a comittment that cannot and should not be broken, under any circumstances. I may get crucified for this comment but you are being selfish.

You won't be crucified by me. I said in my earlier post that I was being selfish. I recognize that. I will go the Commissioned Corps route. I am not a selfish person by nature. My foster children will be reunified in January and if they were TPR'd then I would not go. I am a little hurt by your harshness though.

[bagladyrn, RN]

You won't be crucified by me. I said in my earlier post that I was being selfish. I recognize that. I will go the Commissioned Corps route. I am not a selfish person by nature. My foster children will be reunified in January and if they were TPR'd then I would not go. I am a little hurt by your harshness though.

Kiyasmom - You are NOT selfish! (I'd like to know how many foster children that other poster took in - I raised 4). As someone else said, if you were a man contemplating this you'd get a lot less flack. It may be that this is impractical at this time (though depending on your age and that of your children, may still be possible when they are older) and as others have said the PHS Comissioned Corp may be a great alternative for your desire to serve.

As the mother of an active duty Navy man who is about to go overseas for at least a year (without his wife and children) I am grateful for those nurses who are willing to make the sacrifices to be there to care for him and his fellow service members - Thanks to you all!

[kcochrane]

I would not trade my years in the navy for anything, but I was also single and without children at the time. I still itch for the military, but I don't want to be away from my kids.

Personally I don't have an issue with people joining the military if there will be one parent non military. The problem is that it sounds like your husband isn't up to moving when you get deployed. That means you need to look in your heart and make sure you can live without your children for extended periods of time. My step mother has made a career out of the navy with kids. But she has spent months at a time without them.

I totally understand your dream. Only you know your family, your kids and your situation. Good luck to whatever your decide. :)

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

i would not trade my years in the navy for anything, but i was also single and without children at the time.

i have to agree--except i was in the army, and it was not as a nurse (communications officer). you will be gone more than you think you will, and the military doesn't care about family separations. in fact, all parents must have a "deployment plan" stating that someone will take care of their children on very short notice for an indeterminate amount of time.

i got out when i was pg with my second son. leaving #1 with a sitter (my husband was also active duty at the time) starting at 6 weeks (its 4 weeks now) tore a hole in my heart. :redbeathe and--this was in the eighties, when there were no world conflicts going on. nevertheless, i had to keep a trunk packed in case i had to be deployed--we had 48 hours to get from stateside to any hotspots. i know of many military families that are large, but in all cases, dad was active and mom was a sahm. what do you really think the best thing for your children is???

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Good luck. There is that nasty word they don't tell you about "deployment". In the early 90s after many years of peace, nurses joined the reserves for the opportunity and the money. Then there was the Iraqi-Kuwaiti conflict and many of them had a wake-up call when they had to suspend their lives and do duty. Some were "deployed" locally at the mliitary hospital, but they had to give up their jobs and lives. Others were deployed overseas for long periods of time. A nursing instructor of mine had just given birth - and the Army didn't really care about that and off she went.

Hang in there. Know exactly what the ramifications of your decision will be and if it's still a dream then go for it.