Older Student, Unprofessional Nurse During Clinical

Nursing Students General Students

Published

After many, many years (20!) of "thinking about it", I finally decided at age 45 to go back to school for nursing. My mom was a nurse for 50 years and even though I have two other bachelor's degrees, the timing was never right for the commitment of nursing school. Now that I have two kids in college and my other two kids are high school aged, I decided that this was my time.

I will graduate one year from now from one of the remaining hospital based diploma programs (Our area is actually FULL of them) and then I will immediately bridge to a BSN after just two semesters because of my other degrees. I am currently a 4.0 student.

Because I am in a hospital based program, we get A LOT of clinical experience (it's the reason I chose this type of program) and so far, my experiences have been great and have only solidified my desire to be a nurse. I am loving every second of it.

However, this week I experiences something I didn't expect. I half expected rude nurses or the dreaded "eat their young" nurses (which would be kind of tough on me because I'm older than many of them!) and I wasn't so worried about that because I've been dealing with mean girls since long before the movie.....but I didn't expect to hear nurses talking so badly about their PATIENTS!

I was sitting at the nurses desk looking up my patient's meds for my upcoming med pass. The nurse sitting next to me was kabitzing with the other nurse. These are well established nurses. And the one nurse starts complaining about the patient down the floor being a ******* **** (but she said the words) because he was complaining about his pain following a prostatectomy (this is a urology floor). Then she went on to say that the wife reported that the patient was a Marine and so she determined that he was the wussiest Marine she'd ever seen. For 5 minutes...full of swearing and making fun of this patient. The other nurse listened, and laughed. But did not join in the name calling. But she sure didn't condemn it either.

I. Was. Stunned. I said nothing because I am a student, but I did ask my clinical instructor about it because the family was walking around and could have SO EASILY heard this nurses comments.

So, my question to you from a very naive nursing student....Is this the norm? Will I need to toughen up? Should I have said something to to the nurse? Should I have told my instructor as I did? I thought it was waaaayyyy out of line, but then I started remembering that they tell us that they are teaching us to graduate nursing school and when you are on the floor it's a whole other ballgame.

If this is the ballgame, I'm not playing that game. I may not have any friends on the floor, but I'm not going to participate in that kind of talk about patients. I get venting or expressing frustration about a difficult client, but please tell me that is not the norm....

So what say you, oh wise nurses?

Specializes in Pediatric Specialty RN.

However...to say that the nurses you heard are not good nurses just isn't true. It is difficult to explain to students that as they gain more experience they too may have days that seeking the comeradare of a co-worker is, at times, therapeutic. Nurses develop coping mechanisms to shield us from the cruel realities of the medical world and the seedier side of humanity. Sometime making something seem less "human" helps in dealing with the stark realities.

I didn't say nor think that they were 'bad nurses'. Somehow in the ensuing 9 pages of comments my original post and subsequent replies have been lost in translation. All I've ever said is that I thought this behavior was completely inappropriate at the nurses station. People have taken issue with that I said it was unprofessional. I believe it was. Some have taken issue with that I thought the language was inappropriate. It was....for the nurses station. That's ALL I've ever been trying to say.

I appreciate your insight into the situation. I did go to my instructor just to discuss in post conference. I just wanted to clarify that I didn't call these nurses bad nurses. I said I don't want to be a nurse like them, but that's different. That's just saying that I won't engage in that type of behavior at the nurses desk. I've clearly said I expect to vent as well. I just hope I'll choose somewhere more private to do so. That is all I've been trying to say but with each comment my original thoughts seem to get lost.

Thank you -

Specializes in Home Care, Psych, Education, Case Management.
Oh dear, here we go again. Nursing isn't daisies and sunshine. I wish it were. Recently, a secretary I work with tried to go to HR because she didn't like that we were talking about calling DSS on a family... she said she felt like the patients were her own... because she sees their names on a computer program? Do everyone a favor and just don't participate in the conversation if you're uncomfortable. You're an adult, don't go reporting people, they will strongly dislike you. That's s good way to make everyone hate you as a new grad. I've been in the work force for 7 years and I figured that out years ago...

I agree 100%

This is nursing school, not nursery school.

Your responses come across as very defensive. You asked if this type of behavior is the norm. You asked if you were correct in reporting her to your clinical instructor or if you should have said something to the nurse directly. You alluded that you wouldn't have any friends at work if you refused to participate in negative conversations about patients. You asked for opinions from nurses here. I simply answered your questions and addressed your post- and agreed with you, actually.

People say this all the time on this website, like it's actually a good point. People give responses that sometimes sound harsh, and I don't think there's necessarily a problem with that (especially if you're asking for opinions), but when someone tries to explain themselves to the accusations or suggestions proposed, how is it relevant that they get "defensive"? We all get defensive at times, especially when it's on the internet and it's all other-posters vs original-poster. :rolleyes:

And, TBH, OP's response to you didn't seem that defensive to me. It seemed like she was trying to fill us in more on the situation and give more insight to the reality of her own situation. Your response seemed way more defensive than OP's.

Specializes in Pharmacy, Mathematics, Physics, and Educator.

Just curious, is 110 comments a record?

Just curious, is 110 comments a record?

No; the current "most popular" thread is at 136.

I am definitely seeing from the responses that this IS the norm

You're not going to get a true representation of the nursing world in a single thread. The title of the thread is likely to draw nurses who need to come to defence because....well most of us HAVE vented about our patients, and with good reason. However, not to the extent of what you heard this particular nurse say. I would say that is NOT the norm in nursing.

What I'm trying to say is you can't extrapolate true data from a relatively small biased group.

I don't understand all the advice being given to you, because you are already doing what is being suggested. Keeping your head down, minding your business, and learning how NOT to act. I understand that you mentioned it to the teacher out of curiosity and advice and not from the perspective of reporting someone.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
I am definitely seeing from the responses that this IS the norm and I have to say I'm disappointed. Apparently I was pretty naïve.

However, it won't change a thing for how I will behave. I'm not saying that I won't ever talk about a patient. I will say that I won't call a patient a ****** ***** because they are in pain and then make fun of their military service. And I won't talk about them when the family is 15 feet away. But other than that, I am certainly not saying I am better than anyone. I wanted to know if it was normal and apparently, the answer is yes. In 6 months in clinical experiences, this is the first time I heard a nurse talk like this, so I was surprised. That's all.

It's a unit to unit type of thing. Some units are very toxic. Others are very professional.

Sounds like this nurse was venting. Maybe inappropriately. Or maybe not.

I work in psych and there have been a few pts that I have cursed about. A few that brought me to tears in the bathroom. I think if a pt kicks you, spits on you, steals your keys, intentionally vomits on you, you get a free pass to call them a bad name at the nursing station as long as they can't hear it. (Yes, all of these have happened to me and more that I won't share.)Your coworkers should validate your feelings and sympathize with you and then go take care of the pt while you regain your composure.

Who knows what this particular RN was suffering when she said those things? As long as no one gets hurt its okay to let it loose sometimes.

The real issue is did the nurse treat this man and his family well? If so, while it may not be "nice" to talk about a patient like this, it is not the end of the world. A lot of people are difficult to care for. Sometimes a nurse just gets a bit over it all. It is prudent not to do this where family or admin will hear, but people do vent. If you don't like it when you are a nurse, don't do it and don't listen to it. Understand that a nurse caring for many demanding patients gets a little spent. Best of luck with your studies!

I know this response is 10 months old. But please know yes there are a lot of unprofessional healthcare professionals with no sense of compassion or patience with patients. But you be that change, you be that compassionate, professional nurse that's doesn't act horribly & make horrible comments just because a patient or another person hurt their feelings or pride. I have been a nurse 20 years & have had to take a lot from patients & their family, but I always try to remember they would not be under our care if they did not need us. I try to remember they are scared & have lost all control over their life in the moments of illness. I get frustrated & have days where I miss my family & feel they take more than I can give, but I shut my mouth & I go outside to breathe, scream, cry or pray for strength to get through the day/week or minutes. So please stay who you are. You was not at all wrong for asking that question & wondering if this is norm. in nursing. It shouldn't be & it truly hurts & makes nurses with ethics & morals embarrassed by this behavior. We should hold ourselves to a higher standard @ all times & not blame patients for how we react. We chose to be healthcare professionals, most didn't choose to be patients.

On 4/8/2018 at 9:56 PM, Jenbripsu said:

I didn't formally report anyone. I asked my clinical instructor whether this was normal conversation or not without naming the nurse.

You right, you shouldn't even have to explain anything. I know that as a nursing student respectful communication is a very important component to being a nurse now. I'm sure you've had to spend some time on that, if your in a bachelor's program.

Maybe these "nurses", "that got sometging to say" in response to your story without any kind of empathy are not hip to those new standards either because they've attended nursing school so long ago and they just miserable...after they worked so hard to be miserable or they don't continue to advance in their career.

Stay focused because most probably don't even know what these nursing programs require of new students now. But we ain't complaining...its ok, soon robots gon take over and none of these nurses gonna be needed because there's gonna be scientific cures made by the robots ?.

Do you know how mich teachers go through, is it okay to talk about the kids; some teachers have had miscarriages because of students ...they are drained but they are very wrong to talk out about it students. The only thing is to do you best, and realize you will not make everybody happy and bot everyone will like you, if theres some conflict between you and the patient, move to the side and reach out to someone.

Specializes in Pediatric Specialty RN.

I thought I'd come back here and update. I am now two months from graduation and have landed a job in a level III NICU and I have a 3.9GPA. I have been a very successful nursing student and hope to be a successful nurse.

Since this incident, I can happily say, that in my 1000+ hours of clinical AND my work as a PCT, I have yet to come across another nurse who was like this one. Have I heard nurses vent? Of course. Have *I* vented? Yes, of course. Did we swear sometimes? Yep. Did anyone do it at the nurses desk with the family 10 feet away and in such a way? Nope. So I am very glad to say that at least at our facilities, this is NOT the norm, despite so many responses here saying it was.
I never said nursing was rainbows and puppies. Nor did I expect to never hear venting and/or swearing at work. I am not a pollyanna nor faint of heart. I can handle big girl panties just fine. That said, I am very happy that my experiences have been much more positive than this one particular day.

+ Add a Comment