Please read and respond. Way depressed.

I feel for you, I also think I made a mistake with this career. You are correct, school definitely does not give you that feeling of actual responsibility for patients. And that can be extremely overwhelming and scary. I have been at it for about 7 years now and I reallllly want out of this career. I want a job that doesn't make me feel sad and cry all the time...which nursing often does. Before you totally give up the career though check into different areas. I worked in a doctors office which wasn't that bad. If you are starting in a hospital then that is very scary for new grads. I tried it and quit. I also felt like you, I really missed my daughter, I hated that I was scheduled on her birthday and also that I missed taking her to a holiday parade. Might sound silly but my family is number one to me. The job I have now i am off all holidays but I still daydream about NOT being a nurse one day. Just letting you know you are NOT alone.

I agree with other posters. Depression and anxiety create a "filter" through which we view the rest of the world, including our jobs, relationships, etc. I suspect this doesn't have much to do with nursing at all; nursing simply created a stressful environment to bring on this crisis. Please seek help immediately. If your primary care doctor can't see you, insist on a referral to a mental health professional. Nursing is really the smallest of your concerns at this point. You need to take care of yourself, mend the relationship with your husband, take care of your daughter, and THEN you can think about nursing. Good luck.

First thing YOU (not anyone else you feel like you've let down) have recently achieved something that like half of all people who try to do, can't manage..... and that is graduate from nursing school. So before you feel disappointment, pat yourself on the back :)

Second, the job you are about to enter (when you finish orientation) may simply not be the right work environment for you. There are more things you can do with your RN other than work in a patient care setting. We all know this...there are a bazillion different things you can do, they may not be easy to come by or glamorous but they might be something that works for YOU. You just have to go out there and grab it. Don't let insecurities or anxieties about one situation carry through to finding what you really want to do, and sure as hell dont listen to all those B's that say "This isn't right for you you should consider a career change." You worked hard, you graduated, you know your stuff now go out there and use it to your advantage. When the going gets tough, make like Martha and GET CRAFTY!

Next, (Get help, obviously?) But get help from your peers, from the school where you got your ADN, if taking on patients one on one is too much for you right now (and remember the "right now") find an opportunity that is less intense. I know nurses right out of school who work for health insurance companies, who work as patient advocates for seniors and people with disabilities, people who work for clinics and do nothing but work with families. The list goes on, but finding your niche in that list can be really overwhelming and you need the help of your peers and educators to help you find your way.

This whole thing is not a dead end for you. You are not a disappointment and you aren't letting anyone down. The only way you can improve your life is by deliberation, challenging your own ideas and decisions, and putting in the work to change it. You've identified a problem and you're going to be able to fix it. If at the end of the whole ordeal it REALLY isn't for you well then it just really isn't for you but don't walk away from the whole thing with dejection. The entire process is an achievement regardless of where you might land.

I hope you find your way, be strong and walk tall!

thank you for sharing your story. I am just a pre nursing student, an d I am stressed out already, I can relate. seek help and get well!good luck.

This kind of anxiety is not normal. I don't think nursing is so much the problem, I think it is your anxiety. I think you will be this overwhelmed in any kind of professional environment that has deadlines.

You ..and your mental health must come first.

It is not possible to take care of others unless you have the strength to do so.

Please don't feel that you cannot be a nurse. There are many options that are less stressful than floor nursing.

As I replied in your previous post, there are options for treatment.

If you are not able to get medical advice quickly.. I would request a personal leave until that could be accomplished.

DON'T give up on yourself! You are a strong person.. otherwise,, you would not have made it through nursing school.

my heart goes out to you regarding the turmoil you're facing. however, here's my :twocents: cents worth advice short and sweet, in order to help others you must first help yourself...wishing you always the best as i send you warm hugs from across the miles :hug:...aloha~

{{{Cynthia}}} You need sometime to nurture yourself and transition from the carefree student to the totally awesome fully responsible nurse. You have just survived 4 grueling years of constant stress and guilt being away from your family. You need to apply TLC and care for the nurse and mother and woman in you. An LPC counselor may help give you some better ways to handle the intimidating issues that you are encountering.

Take some time to nurse the nurse that you are becoming. Growing pains can be hard. See someone and be gentle on yourself.

I am a new nurse and I have felt this, and well still kind of feeling parts of what you are feeling. I think this might be so common in all new grads, but I will have to agree with everyone, your mental health is everything, literally. If you aren't thinking right, you aren't feeling right, and if you dont feel right you dont do right. Do whatever you need to do to save your mental health, no job is worth losing your mind. Unless you can handle it, for me I definitely lost my mind at times, but I found strength in God to take control cos I couldnt do it, and didnt know what to do. But take care of you first hun. Praying for you.

The advice from most everyone here encourages you to seek help from a behavioral specialist. Dismiss those who say, "I felt the same way when I was in nursing school..." Or, "take some time off and you'll feel better". I doubt they did feel the same way, and these feelings won't go away on their own--they usually get worse without care.

I also sent a PM.

I posted a cpl days ago about having extreme anxiety issues with depression sinking in. New grad feeling like nursing career was a mistake. On top of the stress and responsibility of learning my new career. Nursing school is not a true test of what you can handle and does not give you an opportunity to take full responsibility so you can see if its something one can manage. Now that I am faced with the fact that I am a licensed RN and will be taking my own patients after orientation is enough to send me into extreme anxiety. I am having a transitional crisis. Cant find a doc to see me any time soon and I cant keep taking trips to the ER. I am barley eating once a day and cant play with my daughter or do anything other that lay in bed. Wish I could rewind the clocks 4 years and scratch wanting to be a nurse. I don't care if ppl say I haven't given it a chance or not. I know this is something I don't want to do. On top of it all i just plain miss my daughter. Iv let my family down and feel like a bum. I don't have any experience so hoping for a job that isn't direct patient care or something like school nurse is a bust. I feel like i need to take an emotional holiday and look at my options which are scant. Is there anything I can do to turn my ADN into something else so that I can provide for my family. My husband works but does not make a whole bunch and he is extremely upset and disappointed with me. So much so I feel it appropriate to take my daughter and move in with my dad until I can get treatment and find a career that nerves and lifestyle can handle. I really let my husband down.

I feel like you may need to start spending time with your family until the depression sets aside. Taking medicine for the depression may help, but it seems like all you need is your family right now.