Should Nurses attend patient funerals

Genista, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2002

I agree there is nothing wrong with showing respect for the deceased. In fact, many families have invited nurses at my work to attend memorials and funerals of their loved ones.

Before I was a nurse, I attended a memorial for my friend's mom, who died young (in her 40s) from cancer. My friend's mom's hospice nurse attended the memorial. During the service, there was a time for sharing memories by family & friends. The hospice RN identified herself & said a few thoughtful comments about the love of the family & the special qualities of the woman (my friend's mom) whom she only briefly got to know.It was very touching & I think the family appreciated the nurse's presence. I think when you attend a memorial or funeral, it reflects on how special that deceased person was. They touched peoples lives, and your presence supports that.

Tinkertots · Aug 25, 2002

There is a great chance that you would not even consider going to the funeral if you had not already developed a relationship with the patient and/or family.

It is important EVEN for nurses to have closure after death. Remember we are human too

My mother died 12 years ago of several different types of cancer. We were in and out of the hospital often.

After my mother's death, I felt a huge need to thank my mothers caretakers. I wanted to give back to them all they had given me and my family. So guess how I repaid them????

I BECAME A NURSE

FOLLOW WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART!

Love-A-Nurse · Aug 25, 2002

i think there would be a good feeling for the patients family and a closure for the nurse or care giver to attend the funeral of those who we have becomer closer too.

Trauma Columnist · Aug 25, 2002

I certainly vote an unqualified YES - I have only gone to a very few funerals but have always received a very warm welcome and much appreciation.

adrienurse, LPN · Aug 25, 2002

I have never been to a patient's funeral before. That's my personal choice. I'm just really choosey about which people I will and will not show my emotions to. I just have to draw the line at funerals

nursegoodguy · Aug 25, 2002

I have never attended any patients funerals... I have been right there until the end for many of them and feel that something spiritual was happening as they took their last breath. No funeral could compare to it.

I just don't know how I really feel about funerals in general?

I don't think for myself I would want one...

NurseDianne, ADN · Aug 25, 2002

My husband (he's a nurse also) and I regularly attend "the viewing" of our patients. We live in such a small community that most of the time it is parents of someone we know, or related to, or that Gary went to highschool with. Also, alot of the time, we have treated this patient for so many years (I have worked at the same facility 13 years, and my husband for 6 yrs), that we feel like we know them well.

We don't usually attend the funeral, I really hate funerals, but the viewing helps the family get closure and realize that we care. I don't think anything is wrong with it. It also gives us closure.:)

renerian, BSN, RN · Aug 26, 2002

I have been an RN for 16 years and I have attended several funerals of people I had gotten close to. Both to have closure and to support the family whom I had also gotten close to. I see nothing wrong with it and they family was so happy I came. In fact each time I was introduced as one of his caregivers.

Sodie, BSN, RN · Aug 26, 2002

I personally have never attended a patient's funeral , but alot of my coworkers have. It seems that I have been working when the funerals would take place, so people who were off would attend. I wouldn't say that I never will either.

I had an aunt that was on dialysis for 14 years. She loved her nurses. Talked about them all the time. Knew them all very well. When her nurses showed up at the funeral home, it gave everyone a warm feeling because the nurses talked so loving and fondly of my aunt. It proved that the nurses thought alot for Aunt Lillian too.

Believe it or not, I know doctors that have been to funerals too. Not out of guilt, but out of respect for patients that they have taken care of for many years.

Casey7 · Aug 26, 2002

I think that it shows great respect to attend the funeral. If the family sees that you cared enough about their loved one to take time out of your busy schedule to come and see them, it will make them feel a bit better about their loved one's last days. And maybe the person is watching from somewhere and it makes them feel good as well.

Aussienurse2 · Aug 26, 2002

I don't do well at funerals, my father died when I was seventeen and my mother made me go to the viewing. Ghastly(shudder), I refused to attend his funeral and have never regretted that decision. I know some people might think this is disrespectful but I figure life is already too short to spend it doing things that are just as easily avoided. I prefer to remember the life of the person passed.

I had a friend who stated in her will that no-one was to attened her funeral, she left money on her tab at a local watering hole and we all went there and got shattered. That was the best goodbye I can imagine and told my hubby that that is what I want when I go.

Because I work in geriatrics I know that my patients are going to die and try to keep that in mind no matter what, I like the people I work for and their families but nothing could induce me to subject myself to that kind of trauma.

DelGR · Aug 26, 2002

I've attended only one patient's funeral. He had been in our ICU for over 10 months. Before that, I had taken care of him several years on and off when I worked a medical ward. I needed it for closure for myself.

I was truly appreciative when my grandmother died that several of the CNAs and Nurses that had cared for her came to the funeral home during visiting hours.

I heard it somewhere that the viewing of the deceased and funerals are not for the dead but rather for the living (those loved ones left behind).

When I take that into consideration, I can truly go to a viewing or funeral knowing that the family of the one who died does appreciate that others have recognized their loss and that the deceased person mattered to others.