Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation...

Published

Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation to clients when asked? Some might say go ahead...your facility can't fire you for it...it's against the law? But actually, I live in Nebraska and it is legal to fire someone based on sexual orientation. And even if it was illegal it would be easy for an employer to fire an employee based on sexual orientation and then try to pass it off as if it were for some other reason.

For example, what if a young patient...10 y.o. asked me if I have a date on valentines day...and I do...with a guy...should I tell the kid...even if ma and pa are sitting 7 feet away listening...and what about when I work with mentally unstable patients...they say you are supposed to be honest with them always...because they don't deal with dishonesty well...but it seems like if I did tell them the truth it might set them off...or be counterproductive some how...anyway someone plz share with me some insight...maybe with some anecdotes and some tips

thank you everyone who has posted...i genuinely appreciate the tips and find many of them quite helpful !

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ..
i come to realize every time an little old lady ask about my wife.

i suspect in your case it has to do with your spanish accent and a little glimmer of hope from the little old lady!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC.

Some things you don't want to share. My LTC residents somehow weaseled the fact that I live with my boyfriend and have no kids- out of me. This was when I first started working as a nurse.

I STILL have a lady that EVERY morning asks me if I am married- and tells me that if I don't, I am "SURELY a little hussy!". She's in her 90's, what am I going to do, argue with her? There's some battles you just have to choose- but then again I am working with an entirely different population- and the comparison isn't exactly the same.

Coworkers are different. If they ask, I'd say tell them- and if they've got a problem with it then sucks to be them.

:twocents:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ..

@Lynx. Wow... when her generation dies off, I hope that attitude dies with them!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC.
@Lynx. Wow... when her generation dies off, I hope that attitude dies with them!

Aweee, no I love my angry old ladies. Can't take yourself too seriously with them around.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac/Neuro Stepdown.

First off I agree with most of the posters here, this is not info for our clients. There is still plenty of prejudice out there. I do not care what people think, but if my client is so bent out of shape about it that it interferes with their experience, its my fault. Just IMO i think omissions "I dont talk about my personal life" to a prejudiced person would be a default yes, if they are seriously trying to feel out the gay thing.

I admit it I lie, for their sake. Only one time has someone tried to attach gender and pry, keep it simple, redirect. Co workers I will tell, Not so much hay hay guess whos gay. But if I am having a casual conversation I'm certainly not going to hide things, and since my husband and I are attached at the hip I would have to go out of my way to keep it on the down low. At this point in my life, not gonna happen.

It seems like it is not the others but you focusing on your sexual orientation at work. Be professional and focus on your care only please. You don't have to let everyone know you are gay; especially the little kids. It is very ugly and inappropriate to discuss your sexual orientation with the patients. If anybody asks, give them short, conclusion answers and redirect the subject. Yes, we should be honest, but not about our private lives if this will bring issues; honesty is for our patients and our work.

Frankly when I am at work I don't want to hear about anyone's sex life or orientation. This should be private. When you are taking care of patients, TAKE CARE OF PATIENTS, your private life is none of their business. And if asked about dates, the answer is either yes or no - not what sex. Stop talking about yourself, especially to children, and do your job.

You don't have to let everyone know you are gay?

You dont wanna hear about anyone's sex life?

Being gay is part of me doing my best to be integrated and whole. All the gayness my coworkers will ever hear about me is, how great my husband is, the wicked parties we throw, my 6 pack abs maybe my assorment of personal grooming products.

sex life? are you serious, you have your own issues.

If you can't handle this consider all the straightnest you put out, baby showers, the consistancy of your baby's turds, bachelorette parties yadda yadda. I listen to this stuff and don't mind one single bit, acutally i like it, knowing a bit about your peers on a personal level is a good thing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

There are many questions that will be asked and quite frankly I feel are inappropriate to share therefore I "skirt" around them. It all depends on you and your situation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg.

All I have to say about that is that your orientation is NONE of ANYONE'S business. It doesn't affect your abilities, your intelligence, your skills, your communications, or anything else that has anything to do with you performing the work you were hired for. So no, I absolutely do not think you need to tell anyone that, especially if it is something they could fire you for.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.

Self disclosure is a touchy subject. My personal policy is, the less patients know about me away from the job, the better. I have an office in my current job, and I purposely refrain from displaying anything of a personal nature (I work in a prison setting, so I have more than one reason for that). Even if a patient has no problem with an employee being gay, that information has nothing to do with the patient's care or chances for recovery. It is completely irrelevant to the reason the patient is in the hospital and it should not be revealed, IMO.

I once supervised a gay LPN. He was comfortable with disclosing that to me, but it was never mentioned to patients on the unit.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Completely agree with others. That should not be a subject to be discussed with patients. There are always other ways to dodge a question or deflect from the subject!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

NO.........

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, LTC.

No one ever asks me questions like that at work. If you behave professionally, then people will treat you professionally. There is no reason to divulge your bedrooms habits at work---ever. I am not a member of the 'community' but I don't understand all the hoopla. work is work and private life is---private. Why would this ever come up? As to the 10 year old...yes I have a date, and the end. "It's personal" is perfectly appropriate.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion