Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

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We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

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Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

Hey, when i was in nursing school years ago my instructor told us there was a nurse that lost her license because she hooked the tube feeding up to the IV site. I'm never shocked with what I end up seeing when I walk into a room....I just pray that when they're that interesting I've already had a strong cup of coffee.

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Christy1019 said:
How in the heck does one connect a NG tube to an epidural?? That's talent!

That's exactly what I thought! Her fine motor skills and hand-eye contact remained fabulous in spite of her inability to state her name. The 'male' end of the epi fit nice and tight to the 'female' NGT orifice.

The crazy thing was I knew something was very wrong but couldn't figure out what it was for . . . fifteen long seconds. I just kept looking at her and all her tubes with warning bells going off and something not looking quite right :D .

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Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.

I will never forget in nursing school when we were at the state mental hospital.

Guy: Hey. Have you ever met Jesus?

Me: No.

Guy: Well it's nice to meet you.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Back in 1986, an extremely hard-of-hearing elderly Patient was to undergo a Colonoscopy. We were in a closed room, so I felt comfortable SPEAKING VERY LOUDLY!

I explained every portion of the procedure in minute detail. The Patient would reply now and then with "uh huh" indicating understanding. FIRST, THE DOCTOR WILL SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS ! "uh huh" THEN THE DOCTOR WILL APPLY THE LUBRICANT! "uh huh" THEN THE DOCTOR WILL INSERT THE SCOPE! "uh huh". Through the entire explanation of the Procedure.

Silently, the stone faced Doctor walked into the room and without a word, sat down, spread the Patient's cheeks, applied lubricant, and readied the scope for insertion.

HERE IT COMES! I yelled.

The Doctor lost it, laughing.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I initially began my Nursing career working in Psych in a Community Hospital. When an opening came up in OR for a Scrub Nurse in the same Hospital, I bid on, and got, the Position.

I had known one of the Surgeons years before. He was from Argentina and was a Friend of my High School Honey's Father.

Whenever I would scrub in on one of the Surgeon's cases, he and I would playfully bicker back and forth. During one surgery, the Surgeon asked me, in reference to my previous Position working in Psych, "Why don't you go back to where you came from?!" "Well, Sir", I replied, "Why don't you go back to Argentina?!" The Surgeon merely glared back at me.

The bickering was all done in Good Fun and at the end of just about every case, before he left, the Surgeon would slap me on the back and say, "Good job!"

Sometime later, a Nurse new to the OR was to First Scrub with the same Surgeon on a Carpal Tunnel Release. I was to assist the Surgeon and give cues to the new Nurse. The Assistant Supervisor of the OR requested that I not bicker with the Surgeon during the case, as our typical behavior might make the new Nurse nervous. I agreed and said that I would conduct myself accordingly.

During the surgery, the Surgeon chided me, complaining, for example, that I was not holding the retractor correctly or some such other complaint. I would respond with something like, "Yes, Sir" or "Sorry, Sir". The Surgeon glared at me, but I also saw a question in his eyes.

The Surgery went well, but at the end of it, I received no "Good job!".

Thereafter, the Assistant Supervisor approached me and informed me that the Surgeon had waged a serious complaint against me. "What was his complaint?" I earnestly asked.

"Well", the Assistant Supervisor said, "During the surgery, the Surgeon said that you harassed him!"

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Some years later, I began a Position as a Scrub/Circulating Nurse in another Hospital. The Surgeon mentioned in the previous post also had privileges at this Hospital. While the Surgeon and I were sitting in the lounge, I asked him if he could give me any advice, since I was new to the Facility.

"Yes" he replied. "Since you are new here, and on probation, my advice to you is: Buy a lottery ticket!"

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Oh wow. I just noticed something. These are supposed to be funny PATIENT stories.

Oh well.

Sorry!

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Once a pt waved at me with a bag of chips...

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So this isn't a patient interaction but it was in the ER.... So.... It counts. Haha anyway I had to get house keeping due to a code brown(which here's the fun part, it was in the bathroom, so the missing? Not sure. But when I called the number I pressed a button that was wrong & accidentally called the state police....

"Hello?"

"hi could I get house keeping... Etc"

"uhh... This is the state police(laughter)"

"(shocked face) OH! I am so sorry!"

Needless to say I wrote down house keepings number just for safe keeping

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I had a patient who actually was the mother of one of my coworkers. Her blood sugar got really low one night and she told her husband "I think I need some sugar," whereupon he leaned over and gave her a great big kiss....

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A very long time ago I was taking care of a 102 year old lady who got knocked down by the elevator door at the nursing home and broke her hip. She was totally alert and oriented. She had 5 daughters, the oldest of whom was 85! They took turns staying with mama except the oldest couldn't stay at night. She would come out to the desk at least 5 times a shift and say "My mother needs the bedpan." I could not keep a straight face!

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Just recently had a gentleman who was a turn, but he tended to keep shifting back to one side. He put his call light on at about 02:00, and when I went into the room to see what he needed he loudly proclaimed "My balls need adjusted!" :bored: He had slid down the bed a bit and not everything slid along with the rest of him...

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