Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

[Chicka_Poo, LPN]

Actually it is. My step kids mom had 3 complete sets of adult teeth in her upper jaw and had to have 32 teeth removed to leave the "normal" 16. Also, my oldest step daughter wound up with a total of 24 adult teeth in her upper jaw, removed the extra 8 to leave the normal 16. It's rare, but does happen.

[Chicka_Poo, LPN]

The original poster of this story stated it was 30 years ago and sadly, those things were legal and allowed back then. There were no restraint laws, there wasn't HIPPA, no elderly advocate offices, no surveys by the state to ensure proper care and no laws for elderly abuse and neglect. Basically, anything could be done to "keep the patients safe" as they called it (thankfully people soon realized that these actions were harmful and were banned, but it took a VERY LONG TIME for that to happen!). Back then, restraints were not only allowed, but encouraged, especially for Alzheimer and Dementia patients. The POSEY VEST was probably the biggest restraint used. It was a vest that was put on the patient with long straps that came out the sides and they were tied to the bed (Google Posey vest or the movie MOMMY DEAREST because it was the best she used on her son). Worst restraints and ankle restraints were also used, but the Posey was most common. Even in 2001 when I went thru my STNA training (I have now been a nurse for 10 years), even in 2001, we had to learn how to apply and release Posey Vests. Thankfully they are no longer allowed to be used in LTC, but, like i said, 30 years ago, that was the common practice. I think the poster was stating all his episodes of "getting lose" and "running away" were the funny parts, not him stumbling down a flight of stairs.

[Orca, ADN, ASN, RN]

My sister did a travel job at a southern hospital several years ago. One of the ER doctors had been counseled for his lackadaisical response during codes. Naturally, he went to the other extreme. The first code after the counseling, he yelled "Pow!" as each shock was delivered. He shocked the guy something like 8-10 times, and his chest was absolute toast.

[ybot]

Ok, lets see if I can share this without using the words the patients used, and tell it. I had a young male patient who was in an accident, he had to have an AKA (above knee amputation). He was confused while coming out from anesthesia, I heard a lot of noise coming from his room. He was up jumping on his other foot, pulling on his Foley catheter line. As I helped him back into bed he said, "First you SOBs cut off my leg, then you tie me to the bed by my D---". Hope this did not offend anyone, the words I had to use.

[pinchmesh]

I once had a patient in a Los Angeles hospital with a massive chest infection post heart surgery. The tissue over his chest had dissolved, leaving his heart, beating away in the open. I was flushing his IV site, and noticed by his facial expressions that he was afraid of what I was doing. The patient had free medical care as part of his legal settlement. As soon as I left the room, he called the chief of surgery and told him I was poisoning him( at 2 am, no less). After much bro-ha-ha and talking to every "official" in the hospital, they decided he was not to be my patient any more. I thanked them, then told them I was the only American nurse on the floor. Out of the 32 murses on the cardiac step down unit, all the others were phillipino. Two of them were male, but they were MD's in the Phillipines. A special agreement allowed them to practice as RN's in this country. Not a good idea, as nursing is quite different than medical. I ALWAYS got the worst patients on the floor. Standard load was 12 patients with admissions and discharges. I never clocked out out before 9am. All the nurses had rhythm strips to do every two hours. If you are planning to become a nurse, the worst place to work is in a public hospital. Noone in management will ever be happy with how good a job you do. If anything goes wrong, somehow, it is your fault. They will complain about unfinished admissions, and yet complain about the overtime. Best thing to do is quit. If you do, the conditions are the same no matter which hospital you go to.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

pinchmesh said:

I once had a patient in a Los Angeles hospital with a massive chest infection post heart surgery. The tissue over his chest had dissolved, leaving his heart, beating away in the open. I was flushing his IV site, and noticed by his facial expressions that he was afraid of what I was doing. The patient had free medical care as part of his legal settlement. As soon as I left the room, he called the chief of surgery and told him I was poisoning him( at 2 am, no less). After much bro-ha-ha and talking to every "official" in the hospital, they decided he was not to be my patient any more. I thanked them, then told them I was the only American nurse on the floor. Out of the 32 murses on the cardiac step down unit, all the others were phillipino. Two of them were male, but they were MD's in the Phillipines. A special agreement allowed them to practice as RN's in this country. Not a good idea, as nursing is quite different than medical. I ALWAYS got the worst patients on the floor. Standard load was 12 patients with admissions and discharges. I never clocked out out before 9am. All the nurses had rhythm strips to do every two hours. If you are planning to become a nurse, the worst place to work is in a public hospital. Noone in management will ever be happy with how good a job you do. If anything goes wrong, somehow, it is your fault. They will complain about unfinished admissions, and yet complain about the overtime. Best thing to do is quit. If you do, the conditions are the same no matter which hospital you go to.

POOR Pinchmesh. That must have been an awful experience..

[gylyweed]

This happened a few days ago. Im an ER nurse for 2 years and its my first bedside work. Its the last two weeks of my 30 day render before leaving abroad. It was my first time to have an order of having a male patient to be connected to a condom catheter. We always use foley catheters when transferring a patient to the ICU. After having my 73 year old male patient wear his condom catheter(after several tries of me having to retract his member. It was so awkward, I swear!), I told him to just inform me or the ward nurse if he has to go pee. I dint know that I should connect it to a urine bag and tie the double sided sticker around his tralala, and everytime he has to go, I prepare and catch his urine using a urinal (DIY IV bottle urinal) Imagine that! I was so embarassed when I was called into attention of my supervisor regarding that situation. The ward nurse asked me if the urine bag got lost along the patients way to the floors! Hahahaha! Well, at least I know how to use (and put on) a condom catheter now.