Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

Published

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

giphy.gif.540a285eddb8d014dd82b5c46a5a5c08.gif

Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

This one has had me laughing all weekend...I work on a cardiothoracic telemetry unit, and the other day we had the red phone ring for a lady (she was beginning to code). So about twelve of us run into her room to find her calmly lying in bed watching tv. She turned to us and said, "you need to bring me some hot men in here. I was just watching this commercial, and there was an actor going up the stairs, and he had the cutest tush..." ...we all just died laughing...and of course tried to steal a hot man or two to visit her later on.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

True story while working in the ED. An elderly man comes in with his wife c/o possible hypoxia with blue fingers which his wife states they consulted their neighbor who was a nurse (I am doubtful she really was) and the neighbor advised them it might be related to low oxygen.

This man worked himself into a tizzy, with ample encouragement from his wife. He frequently took deep breathes just to be sure he could still breathe. When he got to me in triage his fingers were indeed blue,so blue in fact I took an alcohol wipe and wiped it off! Just then the wife remembered she just bought new navy blue flannel sheets.

The part that kills me is they still wanted to be seen by the doctor, "just in case ."

Possible diagnosis I am guessing would be acute indigo -anemia with just a touch of the crazys.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology.

I'm not a nurse yet but this thread has been some of the most humorous and scariest things I've read on AN.com. Thank you all for sharing!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PCU.
I work in LTC and we have a gentleman who- according to his story- had his eyeballs removed by the Mafia. No one's quite sure what happened- but at any rate, he has no eyes.

This man has his nurse, 3 aids, and the social worker CONVINCED he can see "Just a little bit!" The aide came up to me and was yelling about how he could tell where she was standing, and the social worker was convinced because the guy was walking without a cane. (Into the wall....)

These people seriously wouldn't believe me that there was no way in heck this guy could see, until finally, as the guy was walking down the hall unattended, his nurse tells him, "Oh! Mr X! Watch out for that wheelchair!"

The guy spins around, pulls his eyelids open, and yells "J---- F------g C-----T LADY! I HAVE NO G--D--- EYEBALLS!"

I nearly died laughing- how were they expecting him to see? With his elbows?

You work in a very scary place...must have been hilarious, yet freaking frustrating...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Old post but I have to share this...

It was during my clinical days on an acute care floor. One morning firemen and two police men

appear on the floor asking for Mrs So and So. The staff had no idea what was going on and

led them to her room. Apparently, this adorable little old lady had a question

about her ambulance bill and figured that, in order to get her answers she would call back

the number she called to get the ambulance... 911.

The policemen were quite gracious and stayed behind to go over her bill with her and figure out

who she actually needed to call.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Quote
Old post but I have to share this...

It was during my clinical days on an acute care floor. One morning firemen and two police men

appear on the floor asking for Mrs So and So. The staff had no idea what was going on and

led them to her room. Apparently, this adorable little old lady had a question

about her ambulance bill and figured that, in order to get her answers she would call back

the number she called to get the ambulance... 911.

The policemen were quite gracious and stayed behind to go over her bill with her and figure out

who she actually needed to call.

OMG really?! Hahahahahaha. I love this thread! Classic!

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics.

I work a busy hall in a LTC/Rehab center, where I am responsible for 25-30 patients a day. One day was particularly busy with all sorts of things going on. Myself and my CNAs were running our butts off trying to keep up, and to make matters worse two of our high fall risk residents decided they would choose this day to make their attempt at freedom. One had already fallen and was determined to keep trying, and the second was on her way to a fall as well.

Now these two suffered from dementia and difficulty hearing. Each were fairly calm when distracted usually, but on this day we were unable to find anything that kept their interests. After a few close calls and a ton of failed distractions, it hit us! Both of these residents loved to talk, and talking was one of the most effective distractions for them. Out of a loss for ideas, we parked the two in front of each other at the nurses station, and for the next 2 smooth hours they carried on two entirely separate conversations and had an amazing time doing so. We pull out the creative distraction every now and then to this day.

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Transitional Nursing.

Sitting at the nurses station talking with a co-worker. Behind us, we had a demented gentleman who was hanging out with all of us because he wouldn't stop getting up.

My co-worker mentions something about being newly pregnant.

Gentleman yells out "I didn't do it"!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab, Med-surg, Neuroscience.

This is the shortest story ever.

I asked a confused elderly man who the president is. Without taking his eyes off the TV he says "ESPN."

I don't know why but this made me laugh so hard I had to go sit down. He he he see it still makes me laugh

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, Trauma ICU, CVICU.

When I worked in Labor and Delivery I was talking to a patient after she had experienced a pretty rough labor. I was discussing post-delivery care with her and started education about birth control after she left the hospital. She quickly said..."Oh yeah! I already know what kind I want to use! Can you get my doctor to write me a prescription for some of that Abstinence? He said that was the best one!" Needless to say, I had to take a moment to gain composure before I articulated a response...:down:

Abstinence...its the best form of birth control!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology.
Quote
When I worked in Labor and Delivery I was talking to a patient after she had experienced a pretty rough labor. I was discussing post-delivery care with her and started education about birth control after she left the hospital. She quickly said..."Oh yeah! I already know what kind I want to use! Can you get my doctor to write me a prescription for some of that Abstinence? He said that was the best one!" Needless to say, I had to take a moment to gain composure before I articulated a response...:down:

Abstinence...its the best form of birth control!

I'm not a nurse yet, pre-nursing student, but this story reminded me of when my sister-in-law was pregnant, with BABY # 2, and was having some aches and pains. I and my other sister-in-law was telling her to go relax in a warm bath and she says "but my baby may drown". LOL. True story.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics/Developmental Pediatrics/Research/psych.
Quote
My mom is also an RN in the ER at a well known hospital in Los Angeles, one day a female rushes into the ER claiming that she is about to go into labor. She said she is having twins, and the reason she came to this hospital was because she was in labor at another hospital in the past and had triplets and one of them died so they didn't allow her to go back there (WHAT?!) LOL.

As if that wasn't a weird and suspicious story already...Without wasting time for an assessment, they wheel her off to L and D. They admit this lady in L/D, put an ID band on her and made a name plate, and once they start doing an assessment (finally)...they realized she wasn't pregnant at all and was actually a sixty-something year old psych patient! :chuckle So they call down to ER and tell them their findings and asked why no one actually looked at the patient...but it was all good...both departments had a good laugh that day! :p

I know a woman with schizoaffective disorder who periodically "goes into labor." She has "contractions" and claims her water broke smelling strangely like urine. The funny part is that the staff at her residence actually fell for it.

She has gained a lot of weight particularly in the stomach. She also is not very cognizant of cause and effect. The staff was wondering whether she might actually be pregnant and nobody realized.

It was only when the manager told the staff that this woman just had her period that they realized it was not real!

Obviously, they don't have any healthcare or even much psych training so to them it could be possible that someone just randomly goes into labor.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment