Ok here is another thread we can hopefully get going for nurse veterans and young nurses to see what's to come. What are some of the craziest chief complaints or diagnosis you have seen. I don't want to limit it to chief complaint because that tends to be associated with only emergency.
I could name so many but to start the 2 that made me roll my eyes and say Seriously??
Pt came in with a complaint of "excessive anal sweating" stated that his butt crack had profuse sweating and it was impeding his life. Even after D/C came back hours later for same thing. I can not tell you how hard it was to keep a straight face during that triage.
Another patient came in OFTEN with complaints of feeling faint after excessive masturbation. :| His last D/C he was instructed to cut back on masturbation but apparently it was still an issue and he would come in for near syncope.
I went to put a foley in a patient once and noticed something off at the opening of her lady parts. It was a balloon of drugs with scratch lottery tickets wrapped around it. Ya know no big deal. Took the whole scratch and sniff to another level. Yes they were winning tickets which is why she held onto them.
There also was a patient that had a chlamydia infection in her stoma from letting men have sex with her there.
Had a one leg woman with severe crabs and no teeth come in. She was 8 months pregnant. Yet I can't even get a date. :|
Playing devil's advocate...I had awful ulceration of the esophagus for about a week! I had AWFUL pain but waited, trying to ''tough it out". Then the ER dr. dx'd me with gastritis...remedy for that? A "cocktail" of children's liquid Motrin (ouch for ulcers) and MOM! Well 2 days later I was getting worse and was seen by specialist and finally put on Nexium...whew that was TOUGH! I am just presenting this as a patient and not just from a nursing POV. Please do not take this as being catty, just insight.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Playing devil's advocate...I had awful ulceration of the esophagus for about a week! I had AWFUL pain but waited, trying to ''tough it out". Then the ER dr. dx'd me with gastritis...remedy for that? A "cocktail" of children's liquid Motrin (ouch for ulcers) and MOM! Well 2 days later I was getting worse and was seen by specialist and finally put on Nexium...whew that was TOUGH! I am just presenting this as a patient and not just from a nursing POV. Please do not take this as being catty, just insight.
Playing devils advocate for what exactly? I am a little confused.
PS I have NEVER seen Motrin given for gastritis, I have never seen liquid motrin given to an adult unless requested by the pt. Our GI coctails were always the Mylanta and Viscous lidocaine and some places also added Donnatal.
That said I am still confused though as to what your post has to do with this topic or how you would be playing devils advocate.
Playing devil's advocate...I had awful ulceration of the esophagus for about a week! I had AWFUL pain but waited, trying to ''tough it out". Then the ER dr. dx'd me with gastritis...remedy for that? A "cocktail" of children's liquid Motrin (ouch for ulcers) and MOM!
Quote from Mi Vida Loca~RN: Playing devils advocate for what exactly? I am a little confused
Possibly it goes along with the theme of: "Seriously?!?! You gotta be kidding me!"?
I mean, the gold standard I've always seen for a GI coctai has always been a 1:1 concoction of: Mylanta, viscous lidocaine and Donnatal (shaken, not stirred).
Who would order a GI cocktail of Motrin (an NSAID and big no-no for an ulcer) and MOM (to make the person already in agony not be able to leave the toilet too)?
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Possibly it goes along with the theme of: "Seriously?!?! You gotta be kidding me!"?
I mean, the gold standard I've always seen for a GI coctai has always been a 1:1 concoction of: Mylanta, viscous lidocaine and Donnatal (shaken, not stirred).
Who would order a GI cocktail of Motrin (an NSAID and big no-no for an ulcer) and MOM (to make the person already in agony not be able to leave the toilet too)?
You poor thing. How horrible!
I get that, I just don't see how her post tied into it all or would have her playing devils advocate to the things we shared. Oh well. Back on topic......
and I loathe GI cocktails. One hospital I worked at they came pre-made and that I didn't mind, outside of that I hated having to make them. ALMOST as much as I hate orthostatic vital signs.
I get that, I just don't see how her post tied into it all or would have her playing devils advocate to the things we shared. Oh well. Back on topic......
and I loathe GI cocktails. One hospital I worked at they came pre-made and that I didn't mind, outside of that I hated having to make them. ALMOST as much as I hate orthostatic vital signs.
Actually I was sort of lost too … it seemed the only thing that made sense. Then again, I could be completely wrong in my guess. I figured maybe I may have missed something. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I went to put a foley in a patient once and noticed something off at the opening of her lady parts. It was a balloon of drugs with scratch lottery tickets wrapped around it. Ya know no big deal. Took the whole scratch and sniff to another level. Yes they were winning tickets which is why she held onto them.
There also was a patient that had a chlamydia infection in her stoma from letting men have sex with her there.
Had a one leg woman with severe crabs and no teeth come in. She was 8 months pregnant. Yet I can't even get a date. :|
Just some other times I said Seriously?!?!
Anyone can get a date if they set their sights LOW enough.
My dear friend's late husband was an ER physician. Ed loved to tell of the Halloween night he was stuck in the ER working during a thunderstorm. The triage desk was in front of floor to ceiling glass windows (and glass double doors) with a full view of the parking lot, and lightning kept striking and lighting up the whole area over and over. Ed was at the triage desk drinking coffee and chatting with that ER's favorite cops when he happened to glance out into the parking lot to see something he couldn't believe. He thought he saw a guy walking toward the ER carrying a woman, and with an axe blade sticking out of his head. Halloween prank, right?
Ed called everyone's attention to the parking lot and the very next lightning bolt illuminated the sight for all to see: a guy walking toward the ER, axe sticking out of his head, carrying a woman. He walks into the ER, hands off the woman to one of the cops, and says "My wife fainted when she saw this," gesturing to his head. It turns out he'd been outside splitting wood when the head of the axe flew off and rebounded off the shed and hit him in the head. He knew he was bleeding and suspected he might have to go to the hospital, so he ran into the house to get his wife to drive him. She took one look at him and fainted.
The X-rays showed the blade had penetrated his skull right between the two hemispheres of the brain and had done very little damage to the brain. After having the axe blade surgically removed, he made a full recovery although his skull (and his hair pattern) weren't the same afterward.
My dear friend's late husband was an ER physician. Ed loved to tell of the Halloween night he was stuck in the ER working during a thunderstorm. The triage desk was in front of floor to ceiling glass windows (and glass double doors) with a full view of the parking lot, and lightning kept striking and lighting up the whole area over and over. Ed was at the triage desk drinking coffee and chatting with that ER's favorite cops when he happened to glance out into the parking lot to see something he couldn't believe. He thought he saw a guy walking toward the ER carrying a woman, and with an axe blade sticking out of his head. Halloween prank, right?
Ed called everyone's attention to the parking lot and the very next lightning bolt illuminated the sight for all to see: a guy walking toward the ER, axe sticking out of his head, carrying a woman. He walks into the ER, hands off the woman to one of the cops, and says "My wife fainted when she saw this," gesturing to his head. It turns out he'd been outside splitting wood when the head of the axe flew off and rebounded off the shed and hit him in the head. He knew he was bleeding and suspected he might have to go to the hospital, so he ran into the house to get his wife to drive him. She took one look at him and fainted.
The X-rays showed the blade had penetrated his skull right between the two hemispheres of the brain and had done very little damage to the brain. After having the axe blade surgically removed, he made a full recovery although his skull (and his hair pattern) weren't the same afterward.
... another patient, who was actually admitted to our Med/Surg unit for something else put on her call light one night. She was in her late 80's and told me she had a problem.
A problem? I was a shiny brand new grad still wet behind the ears - if nothing else I was enthusiastic, and I was real good at fixing problems! 'Lay it on me!' I thought!
She beckons me closer and conspiratorially whispers, "I have weeds in my virginia".
Weeds? In her what?
It wasn't until she showed me did I understand and believe it.
Apparently this little lady had a large number of children in her younger years, and she clearly had a prolapsed uterus. Instead of going the a GYN to be fitted for a pessary, or discuss surgery she handily resolved the problem herself.
With a potato.
This unlucky potato evidently sprouted - hence the "weeds in my virginia".
When the flock of interns/residents/fellows/attendings blew into our unit to do rounds the next morning I cornered mine - and then filled them in on the problem. Their disbelieving and appalled faces said it all.
I don't know how this story actually ended, being that this sweet little lady was gone the following week when I returned from my days off and much needed R&R. But I bet it certainly was interesting.
I think now I won't be planting any potatoes this year.
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3ringnursing, BSN
543 Posts
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