I was a great nurse. With more than 2 decades under my belt, almost all in hospice. The rest ICU, ER and oncology.. I never had heard of this. It affected me over several years, I went from being the best nurse there, to someone trying to make it through a day, paralyzed by anxiety. Avoiding TV and movies because they might contain my triggers. cancer, suffering. I went from a great dad to one my early teenagers avoid. New management wanted me out and I overheard it. The pressure doubled. I had severe 2 am panic attacks nightly, I stated to keep a bottle of schnapps near my bed. I had not had a drink in 25 years and schnapps was the only one, I could tolerate. I had a panic attack a couple hours later than normal. I tried to google a calculator to see how much was too much and be present at work.. This calculators was for DUI prevention, 0.08 was the goal. . I was taken to do a breathylizer. I asked for a union rep. Told I had 30 minutes. I had never been in trouble. I did not know how and they would not help, I begged them to tell me a way or be allowed to get help from another nurse. They were silent.
At 30 minutes They said do it now or your terminated. I blew a 0.03 . Placed on administrative leave and sent home. I was already barely holding on , i became lethargic. The shrink covering my shrinks Vacation figured it out In seconds after years. He put me on disability to get my head to a place where I could at least communicate effectively and advocate for myself. I started getting the right help. Disability was 6 weeks long with a note to continue for another 6 months if they're unable to accommodate me and moved me to an department away from cancer death and suffering. 6 weeks later I got a call asked me to come in to discuss my accommodation, no union rep needed. We had all recieved a memo that there would be no Union reps available for 4 days. This was in the middle. I asked to reschedule, called the Union,l they said there was nothing I could do. They also had my check and I was broke. When I arrived it was a set up. I was offered 2 choices resign or be terminated. It was insinuated that if I resigned, the board would not find out and I could go get another job. They had already notified the board weeks earlier. I had to resign and the Union would do nothing afterwards. At the board the diversion was impossible for me after a couple months with a bed bound wife and special needs kids I had to take too much time to take them medical appoinmentsI. I was tricked out of the program and the Attorney General tried to help me, but could not because our board is punitive in California. We lost everything.
Recently someone called a lawyer for me and he said that we have to complete the grievance process and he thinks he can help me because my Weingarten rights were broken and because of my disability was caused by work and it was a complete change in my behavior. The Union will do nothing ignores my requests. I'm just now getting to the point that I can effectively communicate after 18 months. Please tell everybody about this if I had known and not thought I was broken or falling apart. Even my family was telling me to suck it up, I did. I really did as long as I could. Tell everyone I have sent everyone messages that I know
