Messedup101

Messedup101

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  1. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    I wanted to give a small update. I was posting at the same time I was being questioned for 8 hours a day by lawyers about this. I would come home shaking and not only be unable to type correctly, useful thinking was impaired. This included my ability...
  2. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    So I wasn't going to say this. But I'm going to. When you say I'm sorry you're stressed out I already know you don't understand. It's not stress. I'm going to sum it up and try not to answer any more because I've learned a lot from your responses pro...
  3. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Please look at the cause not the result on a small part very common to the disease. The reason, pain so intense that it never stops and you dont think it ever well. An hour seesm lie a huge break. If I were on fore and no way to piut it out, would yo...
  4. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Yes, but do benzodiazepines have any less effect. I was told to take those This never stops, I dont think people understand that. In my department you don't ask for help. I was in an investigation foe weeks. I followed doctors orders and medicaid gui...
  5. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    In should add., I documented everything. I had enough proof, that the Attorney General after my psych eval and with the unimpaired level, Removed substance abuse and alcohol from the complaint. I think I was the first ever he said. It only list menta...
  6. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Yes, now I know I can fix post for very long. I will be making fewer posts. I need a real computer, I will abbreviate it, I had way too many emotions the forst time. 6 years of hell and it is evidently well know outside of nursing, that we get this. ...
  7. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    I sat down and it is 3 hours later. It seems the window to to edit in this forum is short. I will endeavor to make sure the posts are better written. I cant entirely regulate my sleep, but I will wait longer to post. I now work many more hours for f...
  8. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    NO, I am bored and bread American. I need to clean it up. You are seeing one of the effects of the PTSD. I DONT SLEEP... it has been over a week since more than an hour or two. . I only drank for 3 weeks and only at the early morning terror. time.a...
  9. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Oh in the diversion, the psychiatrist told them I was in no way an alcoholic. I have hundreds of witnesses over decades. No one has ever seen me with alcohol or intoxicated. On the disciplinary report, that everyone can see online, Alcohol is not eve...
  10. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Yes, there was so much going on, and I was like the ball, just like a pinball machine. I will ret to clean it up tonight. It became bad, because it went on for years. I am still and will always be messed up. I have complete dissociation with the hap...
  11. Secondary PTSD spread the word PLEASE!!!

    Knowing what it is has been the single greatest relief I have had. . It has give me some purpose too. I am mad I mean really mad. My employer was the biggest in the country it had the resources and I'm sure it knew what was going on. I want other t...
  12. I was a great nurse. With more than 2 decades under my belt, almost all in hospice. The rest ICU, ER and oncology.. I never had heard of this. It affected me over several years, I went from being the best nurse there, to someone trying to make it thr...
  13. Thank you for trying to get the P TSD at there.  I sent everyone I know met a message to pass this along to every  Nurse or clinician they know, Especially those in the 4 areas I'see have the highest rate. 

    It is  too late for me.  I had never heard of it and I am guessing most my psychiatrist's never heard of it and I know management I never heard of it.   I sucked it up for 6 years until I had a mental breakdown. It is no longer about saving my job, was about my life.  While it's true I was rail roaded  out or than the United States I have ever seen.  I can't believe 18 years as a Hospice RN or perfect record at this company had no bearing on their decision.  Over the years I have been selected to  Personally care for it the CEOSs parents. They were neither lived  near the  area I was and I was not a case manager.  They wanted  me then. Because I had such a good record and for the most part, I could put on a mask and play my old self. I had one complaint, I did not admit a family because  our me. Director agreed they did not meet criteria. But he was violent and the family needed help

     It was no big deal. However, hen the people I'n management who knew me rapidly retired . Soon we had a new unit director and supervisor , very quickly I over heard  Them talking one night. Basically  We're going to use any use they could find to get me out of the department.

     I was getting a little help from a shrink. He had recently added Traumatic to my diagnosis. I was Already waking each night around 2 or 3 o'clock in a panic. When I found out they were after me and I already doubted I had the ability to go to any department besides home health, And they were over that to . I knew my days are numbered. I didn't know what was wrong with me I couldn't watch TV anymore because there is always something that remind me of things are movies. I Started keeping a bottle schnapps beside the bed. I had not drank and over 20 something years since college. Interestingly, I didn't have any of after I got fired or lost my licence. I had used the wrong calculator online to be safe by my shift. It was to avoid a DUI. Or Below .0.8. I asked for a union rep. I was given 30 min and zero help nor allowed to leave and get help. I had never been in trouble, I did not know how. I had one nu.ber and no one answered. Saying I would be terminated if I did not. I did blew 0.03. The woman had a chart it said unencumbered.  I was put on adm leave. I had already been barely holding on. I became lethargic . The new shrink.put me on disability for 6 weeks and finally told me what it was. He sent another letter to extend it 6 months if they were unable to accommodate my disability In a department away from cancer and death. 8 weeks into it i was told to come in to talk about the accomidation,  .they knew the union rep was unavailable. We all had memos for that week. I was told no rep was needed. I protested, but they were holding my check. It was an ambush. I had to leave by resigning or being fired. It was insinuated the board would not be notified if I resigned so I could get another job. I found out it had been done long before. I resigned the union said that was it. As soon as I say alcohol lawyer say bye. I never drank. I would not have, bit I was a shadow of myself. TE

     

    TELL OTHERSI will do everything I can

     

     

     

     

  14. Where can probation RN get Job

    I surrendered it. When you petition to get it back. Probation is almost automatic. So, I will be on probation. I know I need a sympathetic employer. However, some employers are known for working with nurses on probation, that is what I am trying to f...
  15. Where can probation RN get Job

    As my name states I messed up. I was an RN 25 years. 18 years in Hospice. I also have PTSD. I never really found a treatment that helped much. However, helping people distracted me and felt good. This last time I started downhill, my wife was told s...