Wanting your child to have anxiety???

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Specializes in kids.

Arghh!!!!!! I just sat in a transition meeting with a parent and child as the child gets ready to move to HS. There have been ongoing issues with the parent who is viewed (rightly IMHO) as mean and manipulative. I have seen this parent in action over a number of years ( in a variety of settings) and have witnessed extremely rude, condescending and just plain nasty behavior to just about everyone s/he come in contact with. S/he trash talks the spouse in front of the child, is critical about just about every thing.

Anyhoo... the child is a very pleasant middles schooler. But, now no longer qualifies (based on all appropriate testing) for Special Ed services. This should be a good thing, right?

NO, this parent is insistant that the child will be overwrought with anxiety (because, according to the parent, the child has had anxiety since the age of three but just recently got the diagnosis) although there is no paper work to back this up, won't sign a release of information.....Wants to consider online classes because s/he KNOWS that child will have anxiety through the roof. States the child is in therapy and on meds, child does not exhibit these behaviors at school, but attendance is an issue.

So it begs the question...Why? Why do you want your child to be riddled with anxiety? I have seen the self fulfilling prophecy at work more times than I can remember and I am fearful for this child. Why do you trash talk the other parent (that you still live with and have been married to for at least 15 years) in front of your child? What do you gain? What does your child gain? Other than the expectaion that failure IS an option because clearly you expect that s/he will be riddled with anxiety?

Ok , off my box for the moment!

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

Wow! I could swear one of my former students from a prior district moved up your way. I had a parent that i had as a student in K who would just look for issues -had him again in middle school when i made a grade shift - and just saw that the issues she created were just so over blown and the child was riddled with anxiety that she put in his head - it was like- leave the poor kid alone for 5 danged minutes and i'll bet he'll thrive like nobody's business. Mom had more issues than National Geographic.

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Specializes in kids.

Flare

You crack me up!!!

I just don't get it! When the parent started going on about maybe doing a partial day and online classes is when I nearly lost it. I said absolutley not, that the child needs to start the year with the expaction that they will succeed. This is also a parent who allows the child to ski to clear out their sinus tract.....yah....attendance is going to be an issue at the HS level when it starts to impact the grades.

Can't wait, 'cause you KNOW I will the CM for the 504 plan.....:confused:

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It's amazing when the parents project onto their kids. It's very sad and not good for the child at all. Sorry you are dealing with this.

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Wasn't a psych eval done on the child? Did the school psychologist confirm or deny the parent's claim? Poor attendance is often one of the only signs you might see in school. I have an very anxious child, who is very well behaved and the go to kid for all the other kids. Yet, he has mornings where he writhes in "pain" from anxiety.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

Sounds like the mom could use the psych workup, not the child.

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Specializes in kids.

Bingo!!! Wrench Party wins the prize!

No one is denying that s/he has issues but mom has been unwilling to sign a release to share information, she claims she has given us paperwork with the documentation but there is no record of such (all folders reviewed) and meeting notes reflect repeated request for such.

It is the way she sat in the meeting and almost got a rush out of what she expected her child to be and do...and the child was right next to her. If you beat it into a kids head that they will have anxiety enough times......they probably will.

I am in no way suggesting that they hide or not address the issue, I just hate to see her expectation that she will be incapacitated....the child is bright, has good social connections and when in school does well academically. And it is not to say the child does not suffer from anxiety, it was just heartbreaking to listen to her tone and her mannerism.

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Specializes in School nursing.

Some parents can be such enablers. I have seen this way too many times that I thought I'd ever see in my 1 year of school nursing experience. Of course, I come to nursing after working in college academia and, man, some of those freshmen and their parents...

It's strange. I have a similar situation with a student at my school. Listed anxiety on form, no paperwork to back it up; the student is fine, thriving even in school, except when talking to, about, or being around mom.

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Specializes in kids.

It's strange. I have a similar situation with a student at my school. Listed anxiety on form, no paperwork to back it up; the student is fine, thriving even in school, except when talking to, about, or being around mom.

THIS!!!! Sad, isn't it?

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Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.

I've seen parents at my schools PUSH the fact that their child has anxiety and want them on 504's for testing accommodations. Why? Parents hear that if their child has a documented disability through school then their students could get more time on exams, SAT, AP Tests, and can be followed with them to college. But there's no medical documentation to back it up the "diagnosis". We don't hand out 504's like candy. :no:

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Specializes in kids.
I've seen parents at my schools PUSH the fact that their child has anxiety and want them on 504's for testing accommodations. Why? Parents hear that if their child has a documented disability through school then their students could get more time on exams, SAT, AP Tests, and can be followed with them to college. But there's no medical documentation to back it up the "diagnosis". We don't hand out 504's like candy. :no:

No kidding!

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I've seen parents at my schools PUSH the fact that their child has anxiety and want them on 504's for testing accommodations. Why? Parents hear that if their child has a documented disability through school then their students could get more time on exams, SAT, AP Tests, and can be followed with them to college. But there's no medical documentation to back it up the "diagnosis". We don't hand out 504's like candy. :no:

Not only that, but I have also been informed before that if they are labeled as special ed, parents can qualify to receive social security benefits for that child... I have not looked that up myself, but it would make sense in many cases that I have seen.

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