Ugh- helicopter/tiger mom!

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I work in a 7th/8th building. I have a 7th grader who is diabetic, diagnosed 5 years ago.

Her mother comes in every day at lunchtime to check her daughter's sugar and to personally administer the insulin, because she doesn't trust any of the school nurses (this has always been her arrangement).

Yesterday, the first full day of school, she showed up 15 minutes early, was incredibly rude to me, and criticized how I had my office arranged. She then yelled at me and told me that I should have warned her that my other diabetic student was going to be coming in while she was there. (Keep in mind that it's lunchtime, my building has 450 kids, and I have lots of students who get lunchtime meds or have other needs at lunchtime). I explained to her that it isn't appropriate for me to discuss the schedules of other students, and that the health office will always be busy at lunchtime, so if she needs total privacy, that she can use a bathroom, or check in the main office to see if there's an empty room she can use.

She said she wasn't upset about the other kids coming for medications, just about her daughter seeing the other diabetic student. It doesn't make sense to me, and I don't even really understand what she wants from me. Any input? Am I missing something? Before any other students came in, I told her that there would be other students coming, and that she could draw the curtain if she needed privacy. She seems to be really focused on the other diabetic kid, which seems weird to me.

I can't deal with her every day for the next two years. I've been warned by teachers and other nurses about her craziness, but this is next-level!

Unfortunately all of the 504 meeting minutes in her file reflect this pattern of hers. She isn't doing her daughter any favors by not teaching her to manage her own condition. Also, her A1C last month was 5.9, so she's been in good control.

My administrators are very much "the parents are always right," which sucks, but I did speak with them yesterday to give my side of things, because I have a feeling this woman will complain a lot to them. I'm seriously considering applying for an opening at the elementary school in the district. Smaller school, same distance from home, and the administrators are supposed to be awesome.

That other job sounds dreamy! I say go for it!!

That other job sounds dreamy! I say go for it!!

Yes sounds like a no win situation for you. I have moved schools twice now in my district. I am back at the school I started at but it is a much better set up for me now. I say go for it.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Before taking another job, I would let admin know why this mother's behaviour is unacceptable: 1. Rude and disrespectful to you 2. Violates privacy of other children 3. Undermines the development of her own daughter's independence. Let them know you need their support in curbing this mother's loose cannon tendencies. Without it, you will be seeking employment elsewhere.

What's the deal with the child not being allowed to lay eyes on the other diabetic child? Does the mother know them from somewhere and have a history of negative interactions? Does she not want her child to see another child managing diabetes independently, because that will undermine her own importance in her child's life? Don't know if you'll ever get to the bottom of that.

Good luck.

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

WOW, that is so inappropriate!! I assume she did this at the other schools as well...did you talk to the nurse there to ask what she did and how she handled it? DO you have a nursing supervisor that can call this parent and talk to them?

Does the kid know she is diabetic? Are they telling her it is something else and that is whay they are freaked out about another student.

Before taking another job, I would let admin know why this mother's behaviour is unacceptable: 1. Rude and disrespectful to you 2. Violates privacy of other children 3. Undermines the development of her own daughter's independence. Let them know you need their support in curbing this mother's loose cannon tendencies. Without it, you will be seeking employment elsewhere.

What's the deal with the child not being allowed to lay eyes on the other diabetic child? Does the mother know them from somewhere and have a history of negative interactions? Does she not want her child to see another child managing diabetes independently, because that will undermine her own importance in her child's life? Don't know if you'll ever get to the bottom of that.

Good luck.

Your last few sentences are exactly what I think the main issue is. This woman is so intense, and I know she would never cop to it, but I've given the student's case manager a heads-up.

I spoke with administration yesterday already. We'll see if things improve.

Well, today was certainly interesting!

She came in with a box of candy to give me as an apology, along with a verbal apology. Honestly, I think she'll be angry again tomorrow, and that will be her default, because of the intensity. But I'm glad she realizes that she was out of line. I reiterated that I understand her concern, but also that I can't compromise the privacy of other students. I offered her the use of the conference room, which is far, far away from my office. Hopefully she will take me up on it! Otherwise I may as well buckle up for the roller coaster:)

Thanks for validating me, guys!

My biggest concern in this situation is for the privacy of the other kids in your office, whether they are there because they are ill or coming to your office for their diabetes care or daily medications.

My biggest concern in this situation is for the privacy of the other kids in your office, whether they are there because they are ill or coming to your office for their diabetes care or daily medications.

Yep. I just confirmed with my admin that she will report to the conference room each day to manage this. Middle school is awkward enough- no need to have other peoples' moms in your business.

I had a parent who would do something similar daily. Parent eventually felt confident in my ability, and stopped coming.

Specializes in NCSN.

My bathroom is the only place parents can administer meds if they choose to here at school due to FERPA (per my old principal). At first I thought that was kind of crazy and a little rude on our part, but then as others have mentioned, some parents are WAY TOO NOSY. I've had trouble with a mom that I actually really enjoy because she tells the other parents who is in my office when she comes in each month to drop off meds with me and then those parents tell others and it gets out of hand wayy to fast.

Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

I feel for you. We all occasionally have the very difficult patient and/or family member(s). I like the hybrid term - helicopter/tiger mom - hybrids are always more unpredictable, you know. :^)

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