sex education in school

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i was on the dr.phil site (i am a chronic phil watcher) and I was reading the replies to the show about sex education in schools. I was SHOCKED to read how many people believe that sex education should not be taught in school at all, but instead left entirely up to the parents. From a nursing point of view, I found this disturbing. Sex ed is more than just about a moral decision but medical consequences such as STDs, pregnancy, etc.

What are your opinions? :confused:

I went to high school in the mountains of upstate NY, in the late 80's/early 90's. Reproduction was taught in Biology class, but sex ed was not included in health classes.

In my senior year, the school board presented the option of allowing senior students only, the opportunity to attend sex ed presentations by different agencies (Planned Parenthood, an agency that ran an abstinence-based program, etc.). There were special meetings between the school board and parents that got very heated between those pro and con. Ultimately, it was decided that only seniors with parental permission could attend, and only if the programs coincided with study periods. Students were not to miss class time to attend the programs.

I think there were maybe five or six of us who were able to attend. The unfortunate thing was that those of us who were allowed to attend were already receiving at-home instruction. Some of the kids who wanted attend but didn't have parental permission got zero information regarding sex ed at home.

None of the students who attended the presentations became teen dads or moms that year. Three students who didn't attend the programs became pregnant, though. Which is a lot for a high school (9-12) of only 80 students.

Anyhoo, I respect that teaching sex ed in schools may undermine parental teaching about religious beliefs. However, pregnancy and STI rates cannot be ignored and need to be addressed. If all parents are not going to teach responsible health maintenance behaviors, then, in the interest of public health, the schools are going to have to.

In my senior year, the school board presented the option of allowing senior students only, the opportunity to attend sex ed presentations by different agencies (Planned Parenthood, an agency that ran an abstinence-based program, etc.).

Senior year of high school is way too late to introduce sex ed., regardless of who is doing the teaching.

We teach our kids about sex all the time, whether we're aware of it or not. So do their peers. So does society. As parents, we actually have to do more in the way of counter-teaching. If we abdicate that position, other people and institutions will give our kids the message that sex is a game, a secret handshake after a date, a debt owed to someone who treats you nice, a power play, and a bargaining chip, among other things.

Kids are being taught about sex all the time. And our competition understands a reality we sometimes forget--sex is more than just the act. Those who use sex to sell have learned how to use context--all that stuff that surrounds sex--to lure people in. They know how to imply that sexual contact will foster self-confidence and promote success. To use the old advertising maxim, sell the sizzle, not the steak.

We who want safe and happy sexual lives for our kids need to get past concentrating on the physical act alone and talk to our kids (starting in early grade school!) about respect, boundaries, self-worth, and genuine caring versus exploitation. If they can understand the concept of good touch versus bad touch in a physical sense, they can also grasp the important of good touch and bad touch in the emotional realm.

Sex ed., whether we want to acknowledge it or not, begins in infancy. Babies learn about safety and comfort when they are held. Toddlers notice gender differences. Grade schoolers talk about who likes whom and play at pairing off in couples. Junior high kids "go out with" each other and can already be involved in sex games and sleazy parties. By senior year, some will have been involved with a pregnancy. And many more will have had their sexual selves compromised and their hearts broken.

If school-based programs agreed to educate about the biology and even the psychology involved without trying to indoctrinate our kids with "progressive" values, it seems like this would give kids some much-needed information. But again, senior high is too late.

I think one of the biggest obstacles to kids getting proper care in this area is that we parents find it so difficult to acknowledge our children as sexual beings. We want to keep them pure and innocent as long as possible and cling to the false hope that we are the gatekeepers of their hearts and minds. We can safeguard them to some degree, but the best thing we can do for our children is to prepare them to be good judges of the people and information that want access to them AND teach them how to seek refuge with us and others who are worthy of their trust.

Specializes in Critical Care,Recovery, ED.

Let's face facts. There has always been sex education in the schools. It just depends on who is doing the presenting. It is either taught by a trained professional in an organized fashion, by teen peer groups of unknown accuracy of knowledge, or in the backseat of a car (although I've read that most teenage sex happens in the home) where other pressures come into play.

Yes the parents have a lot to say in the matter. But unfortuneately there are children without parents, have abusive parents, have parents that don't care.

Religion should not enter into the school based discussion at all. With the parents that is another matter.

Until our daily lives contain no messages about sexuality, sex education will continue. The quality of those lessons however leave a lot to be desired.

Senior year of high school is way too late to introduce sex ed., regardless of who is doing the teaching.

Exactly. Agreeing with every word of your eloquent, well-thought out post.

Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
Let's face facts. There has always been sex education in the schools. It just depends on who is doing the presenting. It is either taught by a trained professional in an organized fashion, by teen peer groups of unknown accuracy of knowledge, or in the backseat of a car (although I've read that most teenage sex happens in the home) where other pressures come into play.

THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE. All those parents who think they are instilling only the most appropriate beliefs and values don't realize what their children are subjected to by peers and bf/gf. Just look at the shows on tv and you'll get a glimpse at what its like to hang out in the cafeteria, the gym locker room, and the night over at "Ashley's" house :blushkiss

The cover story of the October 17, 2005 issue of US News and World Report is "Sex Ed: How teens learn about intimacy and what schools should do." It presents both sides of the abstinence-only-until-marriage debate.

What could possibly be wrong with teenagers or college students just considering NOT getting drunk and having indiscriminate sex?

Don't we OB nurses talk all the time about teen moms?

I think it is healthy to consider waiting. I don't think it is abnormal. Or weird. I think it is smart and healthy.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9684205/

". . . . . . . . . . . .'Be emotionally ready'

One of the main reasons the group was created was to let students who don't want to have premarital sex know they're not alone, organizers said. They knew beforehand that sex would be part of college life, but many were surprised at how prevalent it was.

"My freshman year ... it was really distressing to me to see my peers going out, getting drunk, and having random sex," said Clare Sully, 20, a senior originally from Princeton. "I hadn't yet come to the conclusion that sex was only for marriage ... (but) I was quite certain that sex was way too important to treat so casually . . . . ."

steph

Specializes in OB, lactation.

I think it is healthy to consider waiting. I don't think it is abnormal. Or weird. I think it is smart and healthy.

steph

I think it is healthy to consider it, I just don't think most people end up doing it.

I don't know anyone who did.

Personally I think it would have been disastrous if I'd waited for marriage... it probably would have been for that first boyfriend that I dated for several years... YIKES. Nope, I don't think I'd change a thing - in fact, if anything I might have been a little less uptight. :imbar

I will talk about the advantages of waiting with my boys, but I definitely ain't holding my breath!

I think it is healthy to consider it, I just don't think most people end up doing it.

I don't know anyone who did.

Personally I think it would have been disastrous if I'd waited for marriage... it probably would have been for that first boyfriend that I dated for several years... YIKES. Nope, I don't think I'd change a thing - in fact, if anything I might have been a little less uptight. :imbar

I will talk about the advantages of waiting with my boys, but I definitely ain't holding my breath!

I'm not holding my breath either . . . .

I do know people who waited until marriage . . my son was in his best friend's wedding this last July and his best friend and his fiance waited. It was pure joy I saw on their faces as the wed. I've spoken to them since - they are glad they waited.

It is funny - my son's best friend's parents were very vocal about how much fun sex is, how much closer it brings you to the person you love, etc. Very open with their kids about sex. And all their kids were virgins when they married. It ain't that bad a thing, really.

I can say that I wish I HAD done things differently . . . . there are certain experiences that haunt me to this day . . . .and effect my marriage at times.

There is something very special about sharing such an intimate and loving experience with someone you trust and who has your best interests at heart rather than some drunken tryst in the hay so to speak.

steph

I'm an elementary school nurse and I teach sex ed at a junior high. In our district, parents have to review the planned curriculum, and then if they like they can "opt out" their kids. Very few do.

We have a "values question" protocol for tricky questions, such as homosexuality. If a kid asks if it's okay to be gay, instead of answering "Yes, it's fine" as I would to someone in an informal conversation, I start up a talk about different viewpoints and morals, and how they should discuss that with their family. As strongly as I feel that being gay is an okay way to live, I (and the district) also strongly feel that parents have the right to discuss that with their kids themselves.

In elementary school we talk about protection without any visuals, talk about childbirth, and show that Discovery movie about babies in the womb (and out of it) that I love so much. In the junior high, yeah, we show how to put on a condom. I answer every question that is asked of me, from "What's a G spot?" to "Can you get pregnant if someone ejaculates in your ear?" (Answers: a bundle of nerves near the bladder that some women say contributes to orgasm, and no.) I figure if a kid has a question, I can answer it accurately, or their peers can answer it inaccurately. They're going to ask someone, and the vast majority will not ask their parents because they're too embarrassed. I talk about anal and oral sex because they need to know how to protect themselves from these activities that junior high students are engaging in to a worrisome degree. A lot of them ask "Is it ok for me to have sex?" I check my response, which is to scream "NOOOOOOOO!" and tell them that it is ultimately their decision, that having sex is a big deal despite what the media tells us, that sex is best had with someone you love, that people will sometimes use other people for sex, that sex can kill you if you catch the wrong disease, that they should ask their parents what their values are and what they think.

When I was in 6th grade school a bunch of 11 and 12-year-old girls lost their virginity at a slumber party. When I was 14, at a party, a 13-year-old girl woke up, half-drunk, to losing her virginity to some guy she didn't know (and God help us, we thought she was a slut for it.) I did not grow up in the ghetto- these kids' parents were doctors, lawyers, and accountants. These kids' parents were good parents who just did not know what their kids were up to ("Linda's having a party with cake for her birthday, can I go?") Kids need to be armed with knowing what sex is, how to have it safely, how to make wise decisions, and for God's sake that you choose what to do with your own body. I always mention what rape is and how no means no (as well as being asleep/ unconscious means no), and about peer pressure.

That said, we live in a very liberal community, as these things go. If parents would rather teach their kids themselves instead of having me talk to them, that's fine by me, as long as they talk to them.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Kids need to be armed with knowing what sex is, how to have it safely, how to make wise decisions, and for God's sake that you choose what to do with your own body. I always mention what rape is and how no means no (as well as being asleep/ unconscious means no), and about peer pressure.

If parents would rather teach their kids themselves instead of having me talk to them, that's fine by me, as long as they talk to them.

:bow:

Some parents get upset with the idea of "how to have sex safely" and think you should not be teaching that. I however, like you're districts approach and applaud you and them.

Specializes in Labor and Delivery.

Sex Ed needs to be taught in schools!

And for those parents who say well i sent my children to this person who talked about abstinence and i told them about STDs. It doesn't matter!!! I am warning you. I to went to see a Miss Missouri promoting true love waits and I signed a card and guess what it doesn't mean anything sure when i was watching the presentation and hearing her talk about abstinence it sounded good. But when you parents leave and don't know that your kids are laying in a bed with their significant others every word goes out the window. You may think that i am immoral. But i chose to have sex at 16 and I went to planned parenthood got on the pill and we use condoms my mom. She thought i was a good virgin. oh and moms what does being a virgin have to do with being good?

My same boyfriend and i are still together and are still using both methods of birth control. Don't tell your kids not to have sex tell them what they need to do when they decide to. It is their choice and they will make it whether you give them the facts or not. Since parents are failing schools should step up. By the way have we looked at other countries pregnancy rates way lower than the US and guess what they teach in their schools??

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