Published
First, I am sorry that your family member is in hospice...((hugs))
Second, Yowsa, your cousin is clearly less than tactful...that hurts.
Emotions certainly run high at times like this, I hope you get a chance to point out that you do #justalittlebitmore than bandaids and bellyaches...
And FWIW, nobody asked her, did they???
Hang in there
So sorry for your family member, I am glad you are there to help guide your family through this difficult time.
Please point out to ill-informed family members that not only have you passed a natioanl nursing exam, have experience in caring for all different disease processes, but you have advanced certification in solely taking care of school-aged kids that can present with ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY AT ANY TIME.
I am so sorry to hear about your family member on hospice. Hang in there. Family members often have no idea what they say hurts..especially with a comment like this. Aside from working as a school nurse, I work in long term care, and there's a lot of stigma there that I "just" work at a nursing home. It's a lot like school nursing, where you form relationships and have to develop different communication and assessment skills to spot changes in chronic conditions. It's hard, but I still get asked all the time why I don't work in a hospital. Uh? I don't want to?
Hopeful for a peaceful hospice experience and kudos for being there to answer the hard questions. Someone sounds jealous. It was a cheap shot. Somewhere around the level of someone saying "but you're an LPN, we should ask a real nurse" or similar. Just hurtful. I've heard it too being put down for being a "nursing home nurse"
Chin up. Ignore those comments as if they rolled off and just smile that "knowing" smile. Or you can answer next time..."but I did stay in a holiday express last night."
LikeTheDeadSea, MSN, RN
654 Posts
I just need to vent to "my people" for a second.
A family member of mine was put on hospice last night. I come from a big family so there's about 9 of us sitting in a room and in a lull of silence my mom stands up and goes, "Jennifer, I need to talk to you in the hallway."
She finds a sitting area and starts asking me questions about his multi-system infection, giant back wound (pressure ulcer), what hospice looks like, what a DNR is, why CPR is dangerous in his condition, why food can't be given through an IV since he can't swallow, (He's too fragile to go through a Central Line or G-tube at this point), etc, etc.
English is my mom's second language, so sometimes she's a little slower to process things because she's translating in her head and figuring it all out, so when we reentered and someone asked where we were, she said "I needed Jen to help me understand what's going on."
AND THEN THE BOMB DROPPED. "Oh, but she's just a school nurse, I didn't know she knew about this stuff. " slipped from a cousin's mouth. My mom nearly tackled them because she knows how hard I've worked for my Certification and getting into a Master's program for the fall.
I know this is a repetitive topic but it just hit me hard yesterday and agitated me a bit extra so wanted to vent.
Love this board for keeping me sane.