Saying No

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2010

Do not let anyone GUILT you into staying....just have something planned in your mind to say IF you are not available such as.....I am sorry I have a previous commitment....That previous commitment could be anything really and they do NOT need to know nor should you tell them....You have a life...RIGHT!!!!Now if you are available and want to do it...that is a different story....and quess what???? when you want to do something.you usually give it your all ....Advocate for yourself just like you do for your patients and YES it does get easier....just be polite so when you really want to work Extra they will ask

cookienay · Jan 20, 2010

Remember, it is your manager's problem to staff the unit. NOT YOURS! I know you feel bad for your coworkers, but it is not your problem. Kid's games trump overtime, every single time. Like Nancy Reagan says... JUST SAY NO!

kcochrane · Jan 20, 2010

I agree with the others. Say no you have a prior commitment, but please ask again. As someone with older children, time goes by fast. Of course if you need the money to pay bills, that is another thing, but if you don't - enjoy your children.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2010

It's easy.

No.

No explanation, no apologies....

Smile and Just...."No"...then kindly walk away...

tolerantgirl · Jan 20, 2010

I am a people pleaser and I would have to say it is my biggest weakness. And then I am miserable that I said "yes" when I really wanted to say "no". I like my days off and I feel that when I am rested and go back to work, that I am a better nurse. And my kids are important to me and time is flying by so fast. I want to savor every moment, because I can't get these years back. Thanks for the advice and listening:)

mustlovepoodles, RN · Jan 20, 2010

You can only be abused if you allow it. It's not your job to staff the unit. If you dropped dead, they would step over your cold, stiff body and life would go on. You don't have to rescue them.

I worked in a very busy chaotic NICU about 20 years ago where they were CONSTANTLY looking for 3-11 workers to stay overnight until 7am. And they always waited until about 9:30pm to ask, thus ensuring that you wouldn't have had any sleep, no food, etc. I had a 2yo son and no family to help me with him, other than my hubby who worked 8-5. So working OT would have necessitated staying up almost 36 hours! No thanks.

I learned to say no real quick. No. No. No. No. I call it the "broken record" response. Don't explain, don't justify yourself. Don't say,"Gee, I *wish* I could help you" because you are just begging them to wear you down. If you give them any inkling that you will cave, they will keep pushing your buttons because they know you are a soft touch. And being a soft touch does not improve your health, your happiness or your serenity.

Just.Say.No.--Nancy Reagan

Jamesdotter · Jan 20, 2010

Or as a colleague of mine was known to say, "No, but thank you for thinking of me"!

maxthecat · Jan 20, 2010

Just make sure you do say "yes" sometimes. Most managers take willingness to work extra sometimes--NOT ALL the time-- as part of your annual review.

Perpetual Student · Jan 20, 2010

I usu. say yes as I like the $$$ (like I did tonight actually), but when I have something planned I'll just simply say "I'm not available" and that's that. Be polite but assertive. Just being polite when you decline will likely win you some brownie points.

rn/writer, RN · Jan 20, 2010

If working overtime burdens your family, consider this. Every time you say yes to the overtime, you are saying no to them. You don't have a problem saying no. You just have a problem saying it in person (and to the right people).

zamboni · Jan 20, 2010

If working overtime burdens your family, consider this. Every time you say yes to the overtime, you are saying no to them. You don't have a problem saying no. You just have a problem saying it in person (and to the right people).

This ^^^^^ is the perfect answer.