Rude coworkers=bad manners

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

So. I'm on modified duty because I fell in a patient's yard and wrenched my shoulder. I have been at the main office doing Team Leader stuff because they fired the other TL. I'm sitting in an office...it's Friday. I hear the whole bunch of other team leaders and assistant team leaders talk about ordering lunch. One of them came into the office I was using and asked me if I had seen the menu to the local deli. "No" I said,"but I'm sure hungry enough to eat anything." She left the room and about an hour or so later I heard someone holler "Lunch is here!" All 10 of them had ordered lunch and were all sitting around the table in the hallway eating. Not once had they asked me if I wanted to order something. I took my pitiful can of soup into the kitchen..had to walk right past them mind you, and not one asked if I wanted to sit down.

I was so hurt I went in the office and shut the door. I ended up eating lunch with Patriot's QB Tom Brady...yeah, OKAY, so it was only a poster of him.....

My friend who works in the field told me I should tell my boss (who was off that day) what happened. What's the point? I was going to apply for a team leader position but now I'm not sure I even want to work in the same building as all these rude nurses. I finished all the work they had left for me and after lunch I went to a different non-nursing department where the women are friendly and worked there till the day was over.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Home Health.

That is incredibly rude. It's so sad when professionals or any "grown-ups" act that way.Sorry you have to endure that atmosphere. Maybe you can be a positive influence if you take the clinical manager position? It would certainly be a challenge!

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Specializes in geriatric, hospice, med/surg.

I've been treated that way and remember how it made me feel so left out.

Now, I'm more proactive in speaking my mind, sometimes gets me in trouble but at least I don't beat myself up later for having not taken up for me! LOL

If I'm ever left out of an "inner circle" of something I probably should've been invited into like the lunch crowd ordering out, if left out and see them eating their goods, I say something like, " hey, I sure would've liked to have ordered something when you guys did...how come you didn't ask me?' I then watch them fumble for excuses...and they always DO include me next time! I suppose it's a bit self ingratiating but with age has come loss of shyness! Good luck with the shoulder healing. Office work/light or modified duty sucks! Been there.

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I hate being cold-shouldered.

(((ccm)))

I'll order in with you.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.

i have been there and it does hurt:crying2: . being left out hurts us even as adults. it's sad. in my case, these things happened when i was new or floated to a different floor. still doesn't make it okay. two things. first, let it go. you are better than them, how petty they must be. second, learn from it. don't let it happen to someone else. what comes around goes around. chin up. :kiss

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.

Sometimes when an "outsider" comes in, people do not know how to react. I am not making excuses for them.

I work day shift at a hospital and another nurse worked nights for a few days to help out. They spread a rumor that she was there to "spy" on them. She was really there cuz she needed the OT and money.

I know that you were wanting them to ask you, but next time be agressive, take out your money and hand it to them with your order.

Sometimes people are just plain mean.

Good luck, and know that we are in your corner with you.

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Specializes in Nurses who are mentally sicked.

It seem to me they don't want to get along with you, and you really have to ask the reason why. Talking to your supervisor is not recommended inasmuch as you are telling her that you don't get along with them...10 of them. You are not going to get any promotion in the future. It is only my opinion, you don't have to listen, anyhow, I wish you luck.

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Specializes in Lie detection.

I know that you were wanting them to ask you, but next time be agressive, take out your money and hand it to them with your order.

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I have to kind of agree with this. Yes it would have been very nice if they would have included you at lunch. But some people are jerks or don't know how to be gracious. So, you have to be the one to show them how it's done.

By isolating yourself maybe they thought *you* were being rude. I know you were not but rude clods like this are idiots and have stupid thought patterns.

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It's also possible that with their numbers, the person ordering didn't realize that you hadn't ordered. They might also have thought that you already had your lunch and were sequestered in your office --wanting to be alone to work. --I agree with a previous poster ---if you hear them ordering, go out and get involved...say hey, it's great you're all ordering lunch...here's my money and what I'd like... --and can I help you call it in?

Since they missed you, I think you inadvertently reinforced future distance by walking past them forlornly with your soup. --You could have joined them. --They then would have likely enjoyed chatting with you and realized that they missed asking you. I really don't think people intentionally leave folks out (unless the folks they leave out are nasty and/or have body odor, for example). I think that it is most likely that you were overlooked... If you insert yourself into their patterns, you increase the likelihood that you become part of their group.

I think you are reading too much into this. Better to be positive. It's very easy to let a simple oversight turn into something aggressive and negative. It can also be easy to take the reins and turn something iffy into something good. --By interacting positively with them, you can let them see who you are... Good luck.

By the way, it seems to me that you might have a very me-focused attitude --one that isn't good in a supervisor or leader as I see it. In those roles, it's important to be able to think about how others see things....and to take ambiguous situations and drive them into positive ones.

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I really agree...I bet they were just not paying attention. Don't make it petty, make it a good learning experience. Part of a good nurse/leader, etc. is cutting people some slack. I've learned the hard way that automatically assuming people don't like you or are purposely behaving a certain way towards you is usually not really the case. I believe you should have said something to them in a kind way. But that's my 2 cents. I really wish you all the best....speedy healing!

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Specializes in ER.

Possibly it was just the person who asked you for the menu who was rude, and the others just plumb forgot. Try to be the initiater of the lunch order next time, and rag on them a bit, say "I need to get in on the action early today, you guys were too fast for me last time!"

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
It's also possible that with their numbers, the person ordering didn't realize that you hadn't ordered. They might also have thought that you already had your lunch and were sequestered in your office --wanting to be alone to work. --I agree with a previous poster ---if you hear them ordering, go out and get involved...say hey, it's great you're all ordering lunch...here's my money and what I'd like... --and can I help you call it in?

Since they missed you, I think you inadvertently reinforced future distance by walking past them forlornly with your soup. --You could have joined them. --They then would have likely enjoyed chatting with you and realized that they missed asking you. I really don't think people intentionally leave folks out (unless the folks they leave out are nasty and/or have body odor, for example). I think that it is most likely that you were overlooked... If you insert yourself into their patterns, you increase the likelihood that you become part of their group.

I think you are reading too much into this. Better to be positive. It's very easy to let a simple oversight turn into something aggressive and negative. It can also be easy to take the reins and turn something iffy into something good. --By interacting positively with them, you can let them see who you are... Good luck.

By the way, it seems to me that you might have a very me-focused attitude --one that isn't good in a supervisor or leader as I see it. In those roles, it's important to be able to think about how others see things....and to take ambiguous situations and drive them into positive ones.

Wow---you're a tough crowd... I didn't walk forlornly with my soup...jeez. I'm the new person in with a bunch of managers and you say I have a me-focused attitude. I always go out of my way to make any new person feel welcome. And by the way, I've been a leader/supervisor for more than 10 years and know how to treat people.

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