So, I have been an RN for a few years, with both hospital and home health experience. Let's just say I am well aware of my strengths and weaknesses by now. Currently, I am a private duty nurse at night, and only have one other nurse to give report to during the day. Since I have started, this LVN (not that the title matters to me, as I see us both as equal in the nursing world) has made condescending remarks towards RNs (even after acknowledging that I'm one of them), such as "yeah, I thought she was an RN, so I ASSUMED she would have her s*** together, but apparently not!", and "As an RN, [insert numerous insults here]". Anywho, her background is a few years in private duty nursing and a short time in psych. We seemed to get along ok at first, even after she made the first RN comment, but then I soon felt as though she started bullying me. She has been with our patient (her only current patient) for about 2 years. I don't know if it's bc this is her only pt that she chooses to nit-pick every aspect of this patient's care in a very derogatory manner, or if she feels some hatred toward me as an RN, but she loves to leave me little "love notes" almost every shift, basically pointing out every. Single. Thing. That she thinks I did wrong. Not only will she point it out and write a novel about how it NEEDS to be from now on, but she always includes a whole paragraph attempting to teach me why it needs to be done that way....
I'm sorry, not only do I find this annoying, but I feel insulted that she feels the urge to teach me something I already know, as a nurse. Perhaps I left something not exactly perfect or to her liking by the end of my 10 hr shift, but I have never done anything to jeopardize the patient or to constitute a written lecture on how to be a nurse. I honestly don't know if she means well or if she is trying to bring an RN down to make herself feel superior as an LVN. I normally would never think that (as I have respect for ALL nurses alike), but the way she has exuded such a negative perspective of RNs, she makes me feel so bad for being a peasant RN, like I don't deserve the title, since I can't meet her ridiculous OCD standards.
Sometimes in PDN nurses get very picky and protective, especially if they have been with that patient for a long time. They can become too attached and feel like that child is their own. This often reflects in their attitude. I have experienced this first hand. Typically agencies will do nothing about it.
Your choice is either to deal with this nonsense or ask to be transferred to another case.
This. You may not be the first nurse to be run off from a case because of this individual. Should you bring the matter up to the nursing supervisor for intervention, they will probably do nothing, only pay lip service, and/or wonder why you don't put the LVN in her LVN place.
My best advice if you don't want to change cases is to throw the love notes away, say "blah, blah, blah" to the irritant in passing, and do your shift the way you see fit. Too many good nurses are placed in the bad position of being the one who complains, when management fails to deal with these personalities that do not work well with their co-workers.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
We had this situation with communication books. One nurse self declared herself alpha nurse no matter how little she was with the client. Everyone thought they were the only one feeling attacked & hypersensitive. Until one spoke up. Management took action as they valued the entire team....nice for a change
You're not going to change her behavior. I'm sure the agency does NOT want her "belittling" you in front of the client.
You can either take THAT up with management , or request another assignment and let them know why.
Why hasn't the agency noted the 2 month pattern???
well, I can't go into too much detail, but I have several theories as to why the pattern exists, both related to and unrelated to this specific pt. However, I'm starting to wonder if the fact that the main case manager being friends with the aforementioned LVN has anything to do with them not really caring about any other nurse leaving, except for her. They even prevented another day nurse from covering for this LVN while she was on vacation, because neither the LVN or the MOC liked her. Even if I did try to handle this with management, I definitely feel it would be her word over mine in any event. Too many additional cons with my current position to put much more energy into being happier here.
Have you tried the broken record approach? The notes you can ignore, but if she goes on and on in person about this or that, you could try cutting her off with "thanks for the input" every time. If she continues, try "I have to run" or "I need to get started" if coming on shift. It might seem unfriendly, but friendly isn't working. I suggest keeping your interactions with her civil but short.
Have you ever actually spoken to her about this, or tried to stand up for yourself in any way?
I, in general, am not a confrontational person, which I know is something I need to overcome in the face of adversity. However, this particular person, I feel, is not one to take criticism lightly herself (can dish it but can't take it). I basically have just been doing my job to the best of my ability while keeping in mind I still have room for improvement. Wasn't till just this week I started getting more offended. Plus, if you see my other post above, she is friends with the main CM, and I'm not trying to stir the pot.
I, in general, am not a confrontational person, which I know is something I need to overcome in the face of adversity. However, this particular person, I feel, is not one to take criticism lightly herself (can dish it but can't take it). I basically have just been doing my job to the best of my ability while keeping in mind I still have room for improvement. Wasn't till just this week I started getting more offended. Plus, if you see my other post above, she is friends with the main CM, and I'm not trying to stir the pot.
Understood. In that case, I would simply throw the notes away. If she keeps writing more or longer notes in response, just keep throwing them away. If she says something to you about it, don't engage. You teach people how to treat you.
Since you know that she has golden hair with management, then you know not to waste your energy in trying to correct anything dealing with her unprofessional behavior. Do as you said, look for another case/agency and move on. Just be aware that this type of situation occurs frequently in extended care home health and you have to be comfortable with how much confrontation and how much running away from confrontation that you want to deal with in order to keep a paycheck. It is rare to find an agency where management ever addresses interpersonal conflict between nurses when it sours the work environment on any given case.
You got some good feedback here already. I am just going to confirm that, from what you wrote, she does have a sort of self-esteem issue or OCD issue. I have met lots of people, and some nurses included, that will try to make a non-confrontational co-worker feel like a lesser nurse. I think that IS what you have on your hands here. Add to that, she is friends with the CM, which probably makes her feel even more secure in doing so. Although it might be good to "stick up" for yourself, it *might also be better to save that for if you are actually confronted by the CM for any corrections in your nursing care. Good luck!
I, in general, am not a confrontational person, which I know is something I need to overcome in the face of adversity. However, this particular person, I feel, is not one to take criticism lightly herself (can dish it but can't take it). I basically have just been doing my job to the best of my ability while keeping in mind I still have room for improvement. Wasn't till just this week I started getting more offended. Plus, if you see my other post above, she is friends with the main CM, and I'm not trying to stir the pot.
Being mindful of the political climate is wise if you think that approaching her directly would not be worth the investment. If you were being actively undermined at work to the extent that you have to protect your career, I'd say you would be best addressing the issue (s) with her directly and professionally as step 1 and document. Whether that worked to help or not is hard to know, but it would be the protocol for addressing a potential issue.
The way you describe it, it doesn't sound like she is undermining your career as much as just getting under your skin by showing some unprofessional behavior. I'd probably take her notes and highlight what is relevant to patient care and dismiss the rest. Irritating, yes. But nothing that crosses any professional lines.
Undermining RNs in front of the patient would probably be something I addressed but I would try to figure out the best way to address it. Deflecting with humor might be an option if you felt comfortable with that. Self deprecating humor is something I use sometimes, but that can sometimes make a situation worse. That's just me. If you don't really think it matters since it's one patient and the family and they know her very well, maybe just chalk it up to a turf issue and a blip in the screen of your overall career.
For your own sake, you might read a little about how to deal with "high conflict people". Not saying your co-worker is a high conflict person or you should think about anyone as a "high conflict person" as a way to dismiss a person, but there are some very helpful suggestions for getting your needs met while dealing with situations with people that might be less than fair for you. You can empower yourself to not feel bullied by learning skills to manage situations where you can focus on what priorities are the most important for you, namely your career and your patient (s).
She sounds miserable. If I were you I would try to have a civil conversation with her, "I feel that as though you're aggravated with me, do you want to talk about your concerns?" If she can't be civil I would bring it up to the nurse manager (if you truly feel like you are being bullied). Everyone should be civil with their coworkers, its not a good environment. In my opinion she seems like she has other problems. I consider all nurses equal but maybe she feels inferior to you because she knows you have a higher title. Her issues seem to be a lot more deep than what she is portraying to you.
caliotter3
38,333 Posts
This. You may not be the first nurse to be run off from a case because of this individual. Should you bring the matter up to the nursing supervisor for intervention, they will probably do nothing, only pay lip service, and/or wonder why you don't put the LVN in her LVN place.
My best advice if you don't want to change cases is to throw the love notes away, say "blah, blah, blah" to the irritant in passing, and do your shift the way you see fit. Too many good nurses are placed in the bad position of being the one who complains, when management fails to deal with these personalities that do not work well with their co-workers.