Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

Published

So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.

Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!

Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!

What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??

"I fell off the bathroom stepstool playing the Butt Touch Game with my friends" -3rd grade boy

Is this something new I need to look out for, never heard of the Butt Touch Game.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Kid: "I can't breathe, and I am hot." (Just came in from recess and it is 100 degrees outside)

Me: "What were you doing?"

Kid: "Running".

Me: "This running thing you speak of, have you ever done it before?"

Kid: "Not really."

Me: "Allrighty then..."

OR

Kid: "I am hot" (Wearing Face Fuzzy jacket during recess and 100 degrees outside".

Me: "Take your jacket off."

Kid: *Blinks and looks at me with a blank stare

Me: "Jackets keep you warm. Taking them off makes you feel cooler. Go ahead try it."

Kid: Looks at me like I have three heads and reluctantly takes off fuzzy jacket.

Me: "Have a nice day" (because I am always nice and never, ever sarcastic :sarcastic:)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Is this something new I need to look out for, never heard of the Butt Touch Game.

I don't know anything about, but I'm gonna recommend not googling this on your work computer.

#justsayin

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I don't know anything about, but I'm gonna recommend not googling this on your work computer.

#justsayin

Good point!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I don't know anything about, but I'm gonna recommend not googling this on your work computer.

#justsayin

Good lord. :eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

Well, I had to write up an incident report because there was a possible fracture involved when the kid fell off the bathroom stepstool during said Butt Touch game....sheesh.

Sigh. 3rd grade boys.

Principal is going to ask for details of the Butt Touch game today, I just know it. And I didn't ask for details because it really felt like one of those things where "the less you know, the better off you are." Ya know??

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Well, I had to write up an incident report because there was a possible fracture involved when the kid fell off the bathroom stepstool during said Butt Touch game....sheesh.

Sigh. 3rd grade boys.

Principal is going to ask for details of the Butt Touch game today, I just know it. And I didn't ask for details because it really felt like one of those things where "the less you know, the better off you are." Ya know??

Please title the incident report "Butt trouble"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Please title the incident report "Butt trouble"

Just choked on my granola bar!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Per teacher (and same one), "please clean marker off their face", "needs a nap...seriously", "eye hurts, and please send me some cough drops back with student" Cough drops were for the teacher, student's eye was benign in appearance, and no way am I sending cough drops with a 5 year old, or any of the kiddos for that matter!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

I have a student newly diagnosed with diabetes. Her BFF has been coming with her when she comes in and checks her blood sugar and covers for her lunch. Normally I don't have an issue with this, HOWEVER, new diabetic is asking her BFF to put the test strip in her meter, hand her the alcohol pad, hand her the bin with all of her supplies in it, hand her her lunch box AND go get her insulin. All of these things were, at most, 4 steps away from the student who needed them.

This same student calculated her insulin coverage to be 3 units for her 51 g carb lunch with an insulin to carb ratio of 1 unit per 5 g of carbs. "I'm really bad at math!" She's been diagnosed for less than 2 weeks. My magnetic calculator on my fridge is free for everyone to use!! Let's do this together shall we? Ta-da!!

I politely kicked the BFF out of my office today and told the newly diagnosed student that she really needs to get comfortable coordinating all of this care herself and to not be ordering BFF to do all of these steps for her. Plus BFF is a distraction and this student really needs to stop and think about what she is doing with her diabetes.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Monday morning, 2nd period class and a student was sent to me to get a spoon so he can eat his applesauce in class. Maybe if there was less snacking and more learning going on...........

We have spring break next week so I expect everyone at my school to be totally crazy this week in the build up anticipation of having 9 glorious school free days.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I have this student where mom just doesn't answer the phone anymore. He lets his butt hang out and he just doesn't take care of himself at all. Teacher sent him down because his nose was running and he said blowing his nose doesn't work. *eye twitch*

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion