Relationships and Nursing school

Trauma Columnist · Jun 6, 2006

Things worth having are worth working for - my motto. I did nursing school with a 5 and 10 y/o and hubby was in the Gulf War. Oh did I forget to mention that I also worked full-time nights? Nope, didn't have a 4.0 GPA at all. However, I passed and in the end that is the important thing.

You have to decide what is important. If this relationship is important, then make it doable by being honest and open and telling him your needs and problems. Guys aren't mind-readers (even if mine thinks he is - lol).

For me, the hard times have made me treasure my husband all the more. I will say that going through nursing school isn't the hardest thing I've ever done.

Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Kim O'Therapy, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

Either you're going to still be together because it was meant to be, or you're not. Good relationships enhance your life, not put a hold on it.

Best of luck to you!

:yeahthat: :yeahthat:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

Communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him what your needs are regarding school, that it will be a busy and stessful time.

You boyfriend beside a "distraction" could be a source of support and strength.

However, the fact that you're willing to break up with him and find him an annoyance is very telling the relationship isn't built on a strong foundation and may not go the distance anyway.

You have to tend to your relationships while in school, it's not fair to loved ones to discard them with the "you just don't understand how busy I am"...me me me me attitude.

I hope I'm not sounding too judgemental, because I'm not passing judgement. Good luck to you in all that you do!

BoonersmomRN · Jun 6, 2006

I have been with my fiancee for 3+ years now. Our relationship hasn't suffered a beat. He knew going in to it what it would entail. Sure, there were times when I had to be very stern about needing to study( he thinks I study too much) but they were few and far between. He's really interested in what I have been learning and always asks about my clinical days. Nursing school does take up a lot of time ( I have 2 children, too) but it didn't consume me. I had plenty of time for him + the kids...

lee22 · Jun 7, 2006

Everyone can take a joke-right???

SonicShapes · Jun 7, 2006

I have 2 children ages 4 and 1 and a hubby and do not plan on breaking up with any of them for nursing school. It is possible to go to school and have a personal life. It is all about time management and balance. Going to school has brought my husband and I closer together.

I agree with you. My boyfried is very excited about my future career as a nurse, and thus, will be understanding as he always has been about my hectic days in school. I am glad to hear that going to school has brought your husband and you closer together...it is wonderful!

Editorial Team / Admin · Jun 7, 2006

Everyone can take a joke-right???

Sure - but, your post looked serious.

Annabelle57 · Jun 7, 2006

Just my $.02:

I started nursing school as a newlywed (10 months), and it's a demanding program. There are a LOT of people in my class in my same situation; one girl had gotten married the Saturday before the program started! Several others are engaged, some are married with children, and some are not married but still have significant relationships (either dating someone seriously or single with children at home). One girl in the class ahead of us actually had a baby between spring term finals and is finishing up her summer practicum, getting ready to graduate. She told me yesterday: "If I can do it, ANYONE can do it!" :)

It can be done, and done well. It can also be mucked up. For my husband and I, it's all about time management. We have a regular "date night" every Friday night - sometimes we go out for dinner and a movie, other times we stay in and snuggle in our pajamas. Either way, it's about quality time with each other. I also try and get my work & studying done during the week - we both work on Saturdays (me as a tech, him for the church) so Sunday is our "family" day (which, for now, is just the two of us) and our time to rest a bit, though I usually start studying again sometime in the afternoon. Many nights, we are studying side-by-side - he's finishing up his masters degree.

It's not easy, but it works. We make sure we get in *some* quality time with each other every day, even if it is only for 10 minutes, and we always keep the bigger picture in mind, remembering that all this sacrifice is for careers that we love, that support us and the family we eventually want to have. Plus, it's not forever: I graduate in a year, and he graduates in about 6 months.

Annabelle57 · Jun 7, 2006

Good relationships enhance your life, not put a hold on it.

So true! I completely agree. I know my time in nursing school is actually easier having him (my husband) in my life... he is such a blessing to me and a huge source of encouragement and love.

Okay, mushy newlywed moment over. :mad:

pipersjo, ADN, BSN, MSN · Jun 12, 2006

Don't break up with him just over Nursing school! I work 32 hrs/wk, am a full time student, and my bf works 2 jobs 60-70 hrs/wk. We have problems, but we work through them. I don't know that we are stronger, but we are surviving! I'm in my 3rd semester with 2 to go so I think if we were going to have trouble it would have been by now!

r_janice · Jun 19, 2006

I work fulltime 7a-3p and go to class 5p-10p 4 days a week. My boyfriend works two jobs. On top of all that we have a 2 y/o. We survive by making the most of our little time together. (also thinking about all the time we will have together when Im only working 3 12's makes it alil easier :chuckle )

Sumone told me when I was having doubts about NS due to just having a child that "its the quality of the time you spend together not the quantity" The saying goes for me and my hunny as well.....