Really not sure how to handle this...

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

FMLA is your answer. This is an immediate family member so you should be covered for that. It will be counted as an absence but they shouldn't be able to write you up for an unavoidable family emergency.

It sucks to have an employer that isn't understanding enough to just take the hit to their staffing levels but this is precisely what FMLA is for.

klone, MSN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

The poster is only eligible for FMLA if she has been with that employer for at least a year, and when used for family member illness, it's only if she is the family member's caregiver (and the leave is being used to take care of the grandmother). This would not qualify for a FMLA event, and it doesn't sound like this employee has been with the facility long enough to be eligible for FMLA.

Also, grandparents don't count under FMLA - it's spouse, child or parent.

WookieeRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

FMLA is your answer. This is an immediate family member so you should be covered for that. It will be counted as an absence but they shouldn't be able to write you up for an unavoidable family emergency.
It sucks to have an employer that isn't understanding enough to just take the hit to their staffing levels but this is precisely what FMLA is for.

Grandparents aren't considered immediate family under FMLA in this instance. I think OP is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I hate to say this, but I almost agree with the coworker that said OP should've just called in sick Saturday, since it was probably too short to use PTO. This is a difficult decision, almost like her job wants her to decide either her career or her family. Tough decision.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jan 23, 2015

Damned if you do,damned if you don't.I pride myself on my excellent attendance but I realize I am just a cog in the big machine and no one cares about my issues.Most facilities have policies regarding weekend obligations ,our nurses work every other and if you call out you must make it up.You can't find your own coverage,you tried and you won't be there.Go see your grandmom,take your write up and keep your head down over the next 6 months.You have learned a lesson about that unit-if something similar happens again you pack your bags and call off from the road...

dexm · Jan 23, 2015

This is my first job out of nursing school but I'm almost 40 with four teenagers and a full life outside of work. I've already run into so many issues on this unit that makes me feel that I'm not at all valued. For example, mandatory overtime/on-call hours without overtime compensation (because I'm already making weekend premium), scheduled all three major holidays in such a way that I couldn't even work around them, put on random shift changes without notice (suddenly schedule for a Tuesday day shift), getting schedules days before they go "live", and it goes on. Basically, I've been white knuckling it for awhile.

This right here says to me that this unit/facility doesn't value their employees. Maybe I'm "spoiled" by working in a large hospital that has a lot of resources, but I think it's ridiculous for you to have to find a replacement for your shift under these circumstances. Especially because you notified your boss of the situation as early as you possibly could - like, you could have just called in sick, but you let them know what was going on like I'm sure you're encouraged to do.

Don't go to work and go see your grandmother. You made an effort to find someone to cover your shift, but you couldn't. Like a PP said, take the write up and keep your head down for a couple months. Family comes first. It sucks that this unit/facility isn't more understanding of situations like this, but I would rather get written up than miss being with my dying family member.

I don't know what the job market is like in your area or if this type of behavior is typical of hospitals/etc. in your area, but I would start looking for a new job.

WookieeRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

This right here says to me that this unit/facility doesn't value their employees. Maybe I'm "spoiled" by working in a large hospital that has a lot of resources, but I think it's ridiculous for you to have to find a replacement for your shift under these circumstances. Especially because you notified your boss of the situation as early as you possibly could - like, you could have just called in sick, but you let them know what was going on like I'm sure you're encouraged to do.

Yes. It was raising giant red flags the whole time I read it. The fact that all her superior had to say in the matter was whether or not she got her shift covered was was a big indicator of the kind of culture they have in that facility/on that floor.

I 100% would take the write up and go see my family. Family will always trump a job for me.

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

Fifteen years ago, my parent was in CVICU 400 miles away, the day before Christmas. My manager was ballistic and demanded proof when I said I would not be able to work Christmas. I said I will not be here. He actually said bring me the armband. The surgeon wrote me a brief note on a prescription pad. I never heard a word about it. In retrospect, hey couldn't afford to lose me anyway.

Go do what you have to do. It's a family emergency and none of their business.

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · Jan 23, 2015

Well my hospital counts it if it's a grandparent and it doesn't matter to them if you're the caregiver or not. Makes me grateful for my job. I had to use PTO when my great aunt died but they gave me the whole funeral weekend off but I only took two days.

This is why employees aren't loyal to employers anymore.

Alnitak7 · Jan 25, 2015

My old workplaces also were abusive to their employees by making them come in or stay on the floor when they had deaths in the family. Even when you have toddlers, they expect you to put your patients first. Legally, they need X number of employees on the floor. They might have an easier time with this if they were not walking all over them.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 29, 2015

Well my hospital counts it if it's a grandparent and it doesn't matter to them if you're the caregiver or not. Makes me grateful for my job. I had to use PTO when my great aunt died but they gave me the whole funeral weekend off but I only took two days.
This is why employees aren't loyal to employers anymore.

Compassionate leave (for a death in the family) is different from FMLA.

crj96 · Feb 1, 2015

Thank you for the encouragement and advice! Just as soon as I posted the original post, I felt peace about what I had to do. When my boss came in the following morning, she asked if I had found a replacement and I told her no. She then asked if I was going to call out, and I told her yes. I drove home, showered, and hopped in the car (hubby was driving!) to go see my grandma. I slept for several hours, woke up, and called the nursing supervisor from another state. Told her that there was an illness in the family and I had to leave town.

It all worked out in the end and I didn't end up getting written up. But it was one of the final items that made me very aware of how unhappy I am in this job. The final straw was yesterday when I started my shift being called into a meeting where I was spoken to like an idiot child.

Thank you for helping confirm that I'm not where I'm supposed to be! :)