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Read this,..its real not a joke! copied from craigslist and i think its funny and crazy

Posted

Specializes in Palliative care Clinician. Has 10 years experience.

Internist/G.P. MD/NP/PA wanted now and then. Up to $100/hourcompensation: up to $100/hour paid by cheque

contract job part-time

telecommuting okay

Internist/G.P. MD/NP/PA wanted now and then. Up to $100/hour

My house. My rules.

I will deduct $1 every time you interrupt me.

I will deduct $5 every time you infantilize me. Calling me to remind me of an appointment? That's so insulting. Cut it out.

I do not have long to live. If that freaks you out, then YOU are the one needing therapy and meditation and yoga and prayer and SSRIs, not me.

You will be seeing me here. I am in an assisted living setup I pay for out of savings with a caregiver who cannot cover her mortgage alone.

It will be just you and me. Leave your lawyers at home. You're an advisor/advocate. You won't be writing orders and I would not blindly obey them anyway.

I will be keeping my insurance out of this and writing you a check.

You will work as MY advocate. Stop thinking like a lawyer. The phrase "rule out" is your wanting to run some test to cover your legal ass rather than help my health. Cut it out. I have no tolerance and no budget for medical futility.

Interruptions... okay, I expect you to interrupt when I use a word you do not know. Make sure you know these, for example:

hypocretin / orexin

formication

hypothalamus

cortisol

hyperacusis

enantiomer

false positive

false negative

I believe in chemistry-based medicine. Everything else is snake oil. I have no patience for naturopaths or chiropractors or holistic anything. I also do not respect clinicians who know only brand names and are stumped when I mention phenylethylamine or lithium aspartate or even N-acetyl-cystine, all dirt cheap chemicals that CAN do good and that can do great harm in the hands of idiots.

Yes, I know how to calculate a mg per kg dosage. I know what time of day to take what, what they must be taken WITH and WITHOUT. It's always way more complicated than how it's explained to me at the pharmacy.

I keep my own records and will take notes while we talk. The systems used in American medicine for record-keeping are a farce and that was before EMRs which are worse. Docs record only what they can treat or at least explain. Everything else is dismissed so medical records bear little resemblance to my existence and quality of life.

I also take responsibility for drug interactions because your systems truly suck. Preventable physician-assisted murder rates are how many hundred thousand a year?

I don't get a prescription filled until I have thoroughly researched what it does and how. Think I cannot tell a good online intelligence source from a bad one? That's insulting.

Do not lie to me. Do not overestimate the benefit of some test and dismiss the risk. Even a basic blood panel when the lab reported a positive for meth? What else might cause a false positive and how much **** must I endure in the meantime like getting fired? Everything has a downside. Stop lying about it. I should have sued for that trauma.

You have my permission to say "I don't know."

You have my permission to say "Let me think on that and ask around and get back to you."

You do not have permission to tell me ******** when you do not know an answer. You are not a god with an image to keep up. Work on getting me to trust and even respect you one day.

Read up on fatal familial insomnia. This is similar. The two sleep specialists I saw had no doubt that I am staying awake 80-90-100-110 hours straight hallucinating and suicidal in between microsleep bursts. My long-term therapist is a retired intelligence officer who unfortunately knows a horrible amount about the irreversible permanent damage caused by sleep deprivation torture. My other aide is a veteran who saw what PTSD did to his men. Both are paid out of my meager savings.

You must be reachable by email. On bad days, I cannot speak but I can make my fingers type. I cannot text.

Email me some evidence that you are still capable of empathy. Comment on what I wrote to prove you read it all. Then read it all three more times and write some more. I'll interview the best responders next time I'm capable of wading through the hatemail to find you.

Sigh, just shelled out $25 to post this.

NCRN2010, BSN, RN

Specializes in Case Management. Has 20 years experience.

Narcissistic behavior at its finest!!

Blue Roses

Specializes in Rehab, Med-surg, Neuroscience. Has 4 years experience.

Lol!! I'd hate to be the poor soul who responds to that ad!!!!

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

If he's so knowledgeable and doesn't need orders written, what does he even need a provider for?

If he's so knowledgeable and doesn't need orders written, what does he even need a provider for?

Someone to abuse

kbrn2002, ADN, RN

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis. Has 25 years experience.

Wow. How on earth this poor soul found 2 caregivers he obviously has trust in in the first place astounds me. Those caregivers must have the patience of saints.

RNOTODAY, BSN, RN

Specializes in NICU, ER, OR. Has 18 years experience.

Oh wow. I bet he is inundated with applicants and has no idea who to hire!!!!

he belongs institutionalized

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life). Has 18 years experience.

Oh wow. I bet he is inundated with applicants and has no idea who to hire!!!!

he belongs institutionalized

He sounds pretty legit to me - no where near sick enough to be hospitalized on my psych ward.

Hppy

Zyprexa

Has 2 years experience.

I like this guy. Especially the "I will deduct $1 every time you interrupt me." :smug:

calivianya, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU.

I like him, too. I respect that he's educated, knows what he wants, and is paying out of pocket. I wish half of the people in the world had even a quarter of this intelligence.

If I was a provider, I'd go for it.

Guys... it's Craigslist.

The only 'Doctor' I know who regularly gets work from Craigslist is "Doctor Stripoffsky MD", and he's not technically a doctor.

Christy1019, ASN, RN

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing. Has 11 years experience.

This post just made my day! LOL :roflmao:

Nurse SMS, MSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development. Has 9 years experience.

Was that "formication" or "fornication"? Could make a big difference...........

:unsure:

JustBeachyNurse, RN

Specializes in Complex pediatrics turned LTC/subacute geriatrics. Has 10 years experience.

Since this thread is from 2yrs ago I would think his dilemma is solved by now one way or another...