racist comment

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Mar 25, 2008

"red and yellow, black and white
they are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world."
piano (boom, boom, boom, boom, boom)
"everything is beauuuuuuuuuu-ti-ful.,
in its own waaaaaaaaaay."
heh.
leslie

heh, heh

tvccrn, ASN, RN · Mar 25, 2008

Who was it (aside from being someone who was obviously quite insightful) who said something like, "no one can make you feel inferior without your own consent"?

That was former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt.

banditrn · Mar 25, 2008

hey...
isn't that part of a song???
is it from "everything is beautiful" by ray stevens (?).
"everything is beauuuuuuu-ti-ful,
in its own waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay."
remember that song?
leslie:)

Ah, leslie, leave it to you to find the song!! :yeah: :yeah:

SDALPN · Mar 25, 2008

Hmmm....not sure how to start this reply but....

I have worked for several black families who have caught other blacks being racist towards me (I'm white). They have stepped in and told them that I am not racist and they shouldn't treat me like that. I have family from different races that have married in to the family and I look at them no different. I've even had an African roommate, who I chose over the white people I interviewed. I'm certainly not racist.

I also recall my great-grandmother using the "N" word to refer to black people. She was not using it to be hateful (hard to believe, but trust me). She was actually raised by a black woman and had respect for all races. It was the time that she grew up in that caused her to use that term. It didn't make her a racist or a bad person. This is all she knew. We tried to correct her (I was shocked as a kid the first time I heard her use the word and knew what it referred to). She was too set in her ways to change. Just because she used that term doesn't make her a bad person or mean that she was using it to offend someone. Maybe we are not being sensitive and understanding enough to respect that our elderly are from a different time. Of course it embarassed me in public when she used those terms because the public didn't always understand. Why is it we are being sensitive to some cultures and not others? The people that lived in those times are not going to be around forever. My great-grandmother passed several years ago. Soon this generation will be gone. Can we not just accept them for who we are for their last few years? If they are using it in a hateful way there is definately a problem that needs to be addressed or they can find health care some where else! Our generation isn't perfect and several generations down the line they will find something we are doing now that is offensive.

I have experienced being treated differently by a few black families. It doesn't feel good at all. I have other black, hispanic, etc. families that treat me very well. I had one black family tell me "We like you even though you're white". I wasn't sure how to take that at first. I thought I about it and realized they didn't have any other white friends or nurses and probably didn't know how to say what they said any other way. After they got to know me they invited me to their home outside of work. I never went because I try to maintain professional boundaries. I went to one home of a black family where I got to the door and they opened the door and just pointed. They wouldn't say a word to me. When the mother came home as I was orienting on the case she refused to shake my hand. I was shocked and quite offended. I never returned to the case. There were other reasons for not going to that case again too.

I think we need to respect everyone for who they are, not because of what color they are. But we also need to chill out a little and not be so offended so quickly. I could have easily been offended by the comment that family made if I hadn't thought about it from their point of view. I enjoy learning about other cultures and lifestyles. I look at it as a benefit of the job I have. Sometimes I get to try new foods or learn a tradition of another culture. I'm in the south and have gotten to share southern food and tradition with friends who are not from the area. Its fun and you learn so much. I do agree there are people out there that are racist and it is insulting. Please don't be offended by what I have said. Its not meant to be offensive. Its just a point of view.

One more thought....how do we define what a racist comment is? What may be considered racist or offensive by one person may not be considered racist or offensive by another. As for the word "boy" I never knew it was used towards a race. I thought it was a southern thing that men used towards other men....kind of a battle of who is more macho. I don't think I've heard any women use that term in that way. Learn something new everyday!

CHATSDALE · Mar 25, 2008

it isn't necessarily true that no one can make you feel inferior w/o your consent

it is like saying that sticks/stones vs words

words are very hurtful and constantly hearing bad things about you is bound to make you doubt yourself

this is particularly true of our young girls..if someone says something to a girl 'YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A GIRL' speak up and stop it right there

enpower everyone

jessiern, BSN, RN · Mar 26, 2008

Actually, just yesterday one of my co-workers had a patient comment on interracial relationships, and make very insulting statements about the children involved (in fact, I will not repeat what was said. It was way over the line).

This nurse in question is raising a bi-racial grandchild.

banditrn · Mar 26, 2008

Actually, just yesterday one of my co-workers had a patient comment on interracial relationships, and make very insulting statements about the children involved (in fact, I will not repeat what was said. It was way over the line).
This nurse in question is raising a bi-racial grandchild.

Well, Jessie, in the little time she had with them, she wasn't going to change their whole outlook, and maybe all she would accomplish would be to be stressed and upset about it if she chose to confront them about it.

Maybe the best thing is to recognize it for the ignorance that it is, and say, as someone suggested "It's too bad you feel that way." Then turn around and leave.

SurvivorRN · Jul 26, 2008

I also recall my great-grandmother using the "N" word to refer to black people. She was not using it to be hateful (hard to believe, but trust me). She was actually raised by a black woman and had respect for all races. It was the time that she grew up in that caused her to use that term. It didn't make her a racist or a bad person. This is all she knew. We tried to correct her (I was shocked as a kid the first time I heard her use the word and knew what it referred to). She was too set in her ways to change. Just because she used that term doesn't make her a bad person or mean that she was using it to offend someone. Maybe we are not being sensitive and understanding enough to respect that our elderly are from a different time. Of course it embarassed me in public when she used those terms because the public didn't always understand. Why is it we are being sensitive to some cultures and not others? The people that lived in those times are not going to be around forever. My great-grandmother passed several years ago. Soon this generation will be gone. Can we not just accept them for who we are for their last few years? If they are using it in a hateful way there is definately a problem that needs to be addressed or they can find health care some where else! Our generation isn't perfect and several generations down the line they will find something we are doing now that is offensive.

SDALPN,

Im sorry..I couldnt help but reply to your post. NO, It is not acceptable in any way of form. Regardless of if you are 4 years old or 99 years. It is offensive regardless of how it is said. I am offended if it is used by black, white, spanish, asian, indian or native Americans. It is derogatory and i will never accept anyone using it. We especially as nurses need to be Culturally Compentent. We need it bad. And this what that means ..............touching a babies cheek because the child is so pretty might be normal and acceptable for me but other cultures find it offensive.So stop doing it!

If she was raised by a black woman and she respected her, then she would not be using the "N" word. Im sorry.

A bad thing always stays bad. There is no way around it. Im sorry ,and there is no exclusion criteria.

trimeduRN, BSN · Jul 26, 2008

I also recall my great-grandmother using the "N" word to refer to black people. She was not using it to be hateful (hard to believe, but trust me). She was actually raised by a black woman and had respect for all races. It was the time that she grew up in that caused her to use that term. It didn't make her a racist or a bad person. This is all she knew. We tried to correct her (I was shocked as a kid the first time I heard her use the word and knew what it referred to). She was too set in her ways to change. Just because she used that term doesn't make her a bad person or mean that she was using it to offend someone. Maybe we are not being sensitive and understanding enough to respect that our elderly are from a different time. Of course it embarassed me in public when she used those terms because the public didn't always understand. Why is it we are being sensitive to some cultures and not others? The people that lived in those times are not going to be around forever. My great-grandmother passed several years ago. Soon this generation will be gone. Can we not just accept them for who we are for their last few years? If they are using it in a hateful way there is definately a problem that needs to be addressed or they can find health care some where else! Our generation isn't perfect and several generations down the line they will find something we are doing now that is offensive.
SDALPN,
Im sorry..I couldnt help but reply to your post. NO, It is not acceptable in any way of form. Regardless of if you are 4 years old or 99 years. It is offensive regardless of how it is said. I am offended if it is used by black, white, spanish, asian, indian or native Americans. It is derogatory and i will never accept anyone using it. We especially as nurses need to be Culturally Compentent. We need it bad. And this what that means ..............touching a babies cheek because the child is so pretty might be normal and acceptable for me but other cultures find it offensive.So stop doing it!
If she was raised by a black woman and she respected her, then she would not be using the "N" word. Im sorry.
A bad thing always stays bad. There is no way around it. Im sorry ,and there is no exclusion criteria.

Thank you SurvivorRn, you are so correct. I couldnt have said it better myself... :yeah:

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2008

Well, when I was little "colored" was polite. Then I was taught by my parents to say "Negro." Then it became Black or Afro-American, then African American, and sometimes (oh, enlightened times!) simply American. Now it's "person of color," which is a roundabout way of saying "colored person."

The old people here and some of the younger ones still use colored. It isn't racism, it's ignorance of the acceptable terms, which they have never had the opportunity to learn. This area is lily white and very insular.

When people are being racist they use the usual nasty word. And are surprised when I object.

nelcoy4 · Jul 26, 2008

I had a patients call me a stupid N-word, colored girl, Gal and little black or negro girl. I had a pt refuse me because I'm black. The funniest was when a pt asked me how did I learn English so well. I told the pt I was born in the US and he said no!!!! But he wrote a letter to the hospital and gave me great reviews. He said I was the nicest African he ever met, I speak so well, and a great nurse.

Bortaz, MSN, RN · Jul 26, 2008

I'm one of 3 or 4 white students in my nursing program (in a predominately Hispanic area). Nearly every clinical rotation, I have had Hispanic patients make disparaging remarks about my race/speaking english/being white, in Spanish, to my peers, thinking I don't understand what they're saying.