"Your job is to make me happy"

Nurses Relations

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I was taking care of a patient today who told me... "your job is to make me happy".

I was taken aback, but responded "my job is to make you healthy... healthy and happy, but healthy first"

I feel a bit guilty, and I feel that I shouldn't. I'm amazed that a patient would tell me that my job is to make them happy. Has anyone had an experience like this or offer any words of advice?

I could totally see my old manager telling patients this. I'm so happy I no longer work for her.

If somebody actually verbalized it to me, I might tell them that "Nobody is happy in the hospital" with the raised eyebrow look.

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Making another individual happy (or mad) is an impossibility. We are not responsible for the feelings of other people, including our patients.

The nurse's job is to provide competent care that will meet the patient's health needs and result in acceptable outcomes. However, we do not have the magic switch to flip that provides instantaneous happiness to people, nor will we ever.

Meanwhile, HCAHPS and Press Gainey are busy educating the public otherwise.

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At least you did not have to inform the patient that you are a nurse, not a prostitute. Yes, some will brazenly ask.

UGH, there are some DOOZIES when it comes to clients that sexually harass staff. We can probably thank Media/the old school idea that nurses were 'available' to patients in every way. I even had an old manager that asked one of the aides whether or not an agitated patient's sexual needs were being met. EXCUSE ME??? :eek: Part of me wonders whether or not sexualizing the (largely female) staff is how some men cope with feeling weak and vulnerable because of their illness/injury. Perhaps it's an attempt to display a measure of control over the situation? Maybe the physical closeness required of some care is (intentionally) misread? Who knows. None of it is an excuse.

Getting back on track with the thread, though - it's almost as though once people are in an environment that they don't consider 'normal' for their day-to-day lives (hospitals, restaurants, hotels, travelling to other countries) they suddenly decide that they can behave however they'd like. Any inch given becomes a marathon for waiters, hotel staff, etc because the patrons' lack of respect for others is unintentionally buttressed by that institution. The difference between those places and a hospital being, of course, that healthcare does not belong in the service industry.

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Specializes in Hospice.
At least you did not have to inform the patient that you are a nurse, not a prostitute. Yes, some will brazenly ask.

My standard response to any requests in this genre is, "Sorry, those services are not provided in this facility".

And in response to the OP... Typically my response to such "requests" is to ensure the patient that I will do my best to ensure the patient is receiving highly quality care and remains safe.

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Specializes in Med Surg.
IMO, it's not even "your job" to make them healthy; for some people that's an impossible, unattainable goal (and there's only so much we can do to undo the damage people have done to themselves). Our job is to provide nursing care, end of story. Happiness and health are up to the individuals.

EXACTLY.

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All. The. Time. But then again, I do work on a postpartum unit where our NM lets us know at every morning huddle that we are the unit the hospital depends on for bringing in the high pt satisfaction scores. Because after all, we are the "happy" unit. Well, in some respects, yes. When all goes smoothly. And there are no issues. But there is typically always some sort of issue, and even with stellar hotel service, oops sorry, I mean quality nursing care, our scores are never where they need to be and us nurses are to blame for every little thing even out of our control. Oh, cafeteria was late with the congratulatory meal? It gets taken out on us. The baby has much difficulty breastfeeding and even mine and the lactation consultant's expertise still not helping and mom prefers not to supplement and now the baby is under lights due to jaundice? Yep, that's our fault too. These are just two examples... I could go on and on and on and on. Of course we get very grateful and appreciative patients as well, but they are not the norm. And yes, every hospital/unit/NM is different in how things flow, pt to nurse ratio etc, but my toxic work environment is just getting to me today. And yes, I am researching other nursing opportunities as bedside nursing is definitely not what it once was.

Words of advice? For the patients who ARE thankful, let that happiness sink in YOU as much as possible, to hopefully carry you through the day. I know it helps me :)

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

"Ok, so what do you think you need to be happy?"

- (listening to what follows. To the end of it).

"I"ve got that you need X, Y and Z in order to feel happy. Do you think you need anything else?" (repeat this step as needed till negative answer):

- .... no?

- "Well, you need to be alive to enjoy X, Y and Z. Don't you?"

- .... yes....so what??

(bingo!)

- "Well, looks like you've got problems with it".

Usually it is a nice introduction into "how I got into that mess and what to do now -101" course, lesson 1.

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

I've had patients think a lot of things are my job. I've been asked to do almost everything you can imagine can be done in a hospital. Except one. If I were a lot younger I'm sure I'd have been asked to do that too.

"Make me happy" is a new one. I guess I have that to look forward to.

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I like when a patient is upset because you aren't available to get them a blanket because you are involved in a code down the hall. When you finally are able to get them the blanket they tell you it took too long and that you should be available because "I am paying your salary". Yeah.. Pretty sure Medicaid does NOT pay my salary.

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Specializes in ICU, Postpartum, Onc, PACU.
I was taking care of a patient today who told me... "your job is to make me happy".

I was taken aback, but responded "my job is to make you healthy... healthy and happy, but healthy first"

I feel a bit guilty, and I feel that I shouldn't. I'm amazed that a patient would tell me that my job is to make them happy. Has anyone had an experience like this or offer any words of advice?

You did fine and were honest. It's difficult to deal with entitled pts and families all the time and you spoke the truth lol

No worries and don't lost any sleep over it cause you didn't do anything wrong.

xo

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Don't feel guilty. If that patient was feeling well enough to be such a turd then you were obviously doing something right!

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Uh, in a word, no. You're right - make 'em healthy, but whoever said our job was to make them happy? Don't get me wrong - I DO try to make patients happy, but as a sideline, so to speak. This one sounds like another one who thinks they are the only patient you have. I battle with that all the time, but I've gotten better at slipping away by politely tellling them that I have to do this or that.

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