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I'm so frustrated with people dumping their elderly family members at the hospital to spend the night with their ill family members!!! We have had a string of this lately, and there is nothing we can do about it, because they don't tell us that they are leaving! They will call up and "check on" the family member and not even ask about the patient! I'm not sure all that makes sense, so let me give you an example:
Elderly confused man is patient - he's not a full code and probably won't make it out of the hospital. His wife, who lives in a facility somewhere (not assisted living, a full care facility) comes in with the family to visit him. Fine. The family wants them to be together as much as they can, and are afraid he might die and she won't be there. Again, fine. BUT they all sneak out at night and leave the wife, who is not safe to be on her own, in the room! Then later they will call and say, "how's my mom doing, did she take her medicine? Make sure she eats her breakfast!" EXCUSE ME?????? In my opinion that is elder abuse, and I am tempted to take her down to the ER and let them decide whether she should be admitted or not, and what to do with the family! And the most recent one gets confused at night! We are too busy with our actual patients to be watching out for all these family members! I have no problem with them staying, but if they are going to stay and are not safe to be alone, they should have a family member with them. I would NEVER abandon my loved one like that - what if something happens? What if she falls??? We have told these people that we are not responsible for their family members, and that if they can't be left alone, someone needs to stay with them. The response is always the same - "oh, she'll be fine!"
Anyone else have to deal with this??
Well, I think we finally got through to this particular family - THANK GOODNESS!!!!! I think there was some sort of close call as they were coming in this morning, and they finally decided that maybe "mom" shouldn't be there alone. Hallelujah. Can't wait for the next one. But I love the risk management idea - I think I'll have to give them a call next time it happens - because it happens a lot!
so they drop momma off to spend the night. say she falls? what then? cuz you KNOW they are going to sue. what if she codes? what do you do? what if she splits her head open? what if she harms herself? if they arent a patient of the facility then they shouldnt be there!
we recently had a woman that was dumping her mom off at night. she had a sick husband at home and her mom was living with her while dad was in our facility. so she started leaving her there at night. or she tried. the woman stayed there one night and the next morning we were all talking to the DON. whats our responsibility with her? what do we do if..? they called the daughter and told her mom could only stay X amount of hours a day. the daughter hadnt even been making sure mom had any food! we ended up paying for her meals so she wouldnt go hungry.
but ive never heard that people drop momma off at a clinic so they can shop. thats a new one for me!
people never cease to amaze, do they?
Why not explain to the family members that it is elderly abuse for them to just leave grandma alone and that the nurses have to care for the actual patients that are admitted and can not take care of the family member that is actually just visiting; because of liability purposes. And if they reply "Oh she will be fine." Say, "She is in a care home, this indicates she can not be alone. If you leave her here, I will file an elderly abuse report". Sounds harsh, but she should not be left alone and it is not your responsibility for you to watch her.
What do your managers say? Or your Administrator or Risk Manager?
I was going to say that you should check with these people before filing. On 2nd thought, don't check.
And don't warn the family, either. Just file the report and do it anonymously and let the chips (and dumped elders) fall where they may. Sounds harsh but this is real life. You owe no duty to the visitors, however dumped, however fragile. Imagine what will happen if you are caring for the visitors and something bad happens to your patients.
Call the police and have them drive the visitors to their dumper's homes. Do it as quietly as possible, try not to even give your name. This is such a sorry, sad world. Only the wealthy can afford to hire help to care for their loved ones. Terrible.
so they drop momma off to spend the night. say she falls? what then? cuz you KNOW they are going to sue. what if she codes? what do you do? what if she splits her head open? what if she harms herself? if they arent a patient of the facility then they shouldnt be there!we recently had a woman that was dumping her mom off at night. she had a sick husband at home and her mom was living with her while dad was in our facility. so she started leaving her there at night. or she tried. the woman stayed there one night and the next morning we were all talking to the DON. whats our responsibility with her? what do we do if..? they called the daughter and told her mom could only stay X amount of hours a day. the daughter hadnt even been making sure mom had any food! we ended up paying for her meals so she wouldnt go hungry.
but ive never heard that people drop momma off at a clinic so they can shop. thats a new one for me!
people never cease to amaze, do they?
Well...he did say that he would bring her here for treatment in case he had to...so much for customer service, huh?:chuckle:banghead:
Insane! The bracelet should say, "if you find me, call the police and report my stinking family for dumping me at the hospital"!!!!!!!!!!
And lock up my idiot boss for demanding that I work for free and for not reporting elder abuse, and drop me at the mental hospital ER because I am nuts for accepting this responsibility!!
Miko, do you guys actually accept this? I know it hurts to have the little lady be hungry, lost, or otherwise in need but such a disservice is being done to her and to all of you nurses. Has she ever wandered off and been returned? What if she wanders into the street and gets mugged or hit by a bus?
Does your Risk Manager/hospital attorney know that your boss has accepted this responsibility of caring for her?
I had the very same situation when I worked night shift and put a stop to it immediately. Husband was in for post ORIF. He was normally the wifes caregiver so the family thought it OK to dump Mom with us as well even though Mom was in early stages of dementia. She was also driving from her independent living apartment to our facility. Although she no longer stayed overnight she ended up there on day shift a lot "visiting". Guess what? She ended up taking a huge fall in our parking lot. She ended up being admitted too after that.I explained to management that she had some dementia though I couldn't tell how severe it was and said "I wonder how we will stand legally if anything happens to her here"
What did Management reply? Also, has she sued after the fall?
What do your managers say? Or your Administrator or Risk Manager?I was going to say that you should check with these people before filing. On 2nd thought, don't check.
And don't warn the family, either. Just file the report and do it anonymously and let the chips (and dumped elders) fall where they may. Sounds harsh but this is real life. You owe no duty to the visitors, however dumped, however fragile. Imagine what will happen if you are caring for the visitors and something bad happens to your patients.
Call the police and have them drive the visitors to their dumper's homes.
Do it as quietly as possible, try not to even give your name. This is such a sorry, sad world. Only the wealthy can afford to hire help to care for their loved ones. Terrible.
You are correct. We have no medical history on these people...they can have diabetes, CHF, all sorts of issues that can be compromised by even sharing a sandwich with them. No information on allergies (what if you shared shrimp or peanuts with someone??). That is a risk waiting to happen.
And, bottom line...sorry, just because we wear white does not mean that we don't have lives of our own! Bad enough that there is enough risk for the patients we are supposed to take care of...now you want us to provide care to strangers with no history??
Here is another one...one of our off-sites is famous for having loiterers hanging around. There is a PCA that encourages this. He is a good cook and likes to have little parties. He lets people who have no appointments or business there come to hang around, shares food with them and watch television. My friend works there as an LPN and is outraged! She said that sometimes, these people come in, say to the PCA "Hey, let me leave my bags here while I shop" and he'll say "Oh, sure, come back and hang out for awhile! You're cool here!". Then, these same people want to interfere with the nurses' work by conversating with them...saying "I've been hanging out here for years...what is YOUR problem??". They become very confrontational with my friend, asking if she is stuck up, why doesn't SHE offer them any food, etc... She said it got totally out of control and since the head nurse is not saying anything, she seems to be in the wrong if she does. My friend said she doesn't offer them anything because it is a risk. An allergic reaction-she is responsible. So, she doesn't offer anything (wisely not). Now, I mean, come on! I have never heard of a group of people having nothing better to do than to hang around a clinic.
And lock up my idiot boss for demanding that I work for free and for not reporting elder abuse, and drop me at the mental hospital ER because I am nuts for accepting this responsibility!!Miko, do you guys actually accept this? I know it hurts to have the little lady be hungry, lost, or otherwise in need but such a disservice is being done to her and to all of you nurses. Has she ever wandered off and been returned? What if she wanders into the street and gets mugged or hit by a bus?
Does your Risk Manager/hospital attorney know that your boss has accepted this responsibility of caring for her?
Don't you love it the more you think of it?? I would be in a straight jacket right next to you, mumbling to myself.:chuckle
Magsulfate, BSN, RN
1,201 Posts
This sounds like the perfect case for Adult Protective Services. Call them, get them there or take the lady down to the ER to have them admitted. Then let the family figure out what they are going to do about it. Call them once, and thats all it should take...