I'm so frustrated with people dumping their elderly family members at the hospital to spend the night with their ill family members!!! We have had a string of this lately, and there is nothing we can do about it, because they don't tell us that they are leaving! They will call up and "check on" the family member and not even ask about the patient! I'm not sure all that makes sense, so let me give you an example:
Elderly confused man is patient - he's not a full code and probably won't make it out of the hospital. His wife, who lives in a facility somewhere (not assisted living, a full care facility) comes in with the family to visit him. Fine. The family wants them to be together as much as they can, and are afraid he might die and she won't be there. Again, fine. BUT they all sneak out at night and leave the wife, who is not safe to be on her own, in the room! Then later they will call and say, "how's my mom doing, did she take her medicine? Make sure she eats her breakfast!" EXCUSE ME?????? In my opinion that is elder abuse, and I am tempted to take her down to the ER and let them decide whether she should be admitted or not, and what to do with the family! And the most recent one gets confused at night! We are too busy with our actual patients to be watching out for all these family members! I have no problem with them staying, but if they are going to stay and are not safe to be alone, they should have a family member with them. I would NEVER abandon my loved one like that - what if something happens? What if she falls??? We have told these people that we are not responsible for their family members, and that if they can't be left alone, someone needs to stay with them. The response is always the same - "oh, she'll be fine!"
People like this deserve to have their chains jerked. I would be so tempted if asked how mom was to be like "What? I don't know. I haven't seen her. I thought she went home with you. She hasn't been here since you left around dinner time." (Meanwhile it's 02:00 . . . . . . . . . . . .)
Actually that was how we first found out that things weren't quite right...son called in and said, "I just called my dad's room and didn't get an answer, where's my mom?" I was in charge and didn't have the pt, and didn't know anything about the pt other than she was just transferred to us and was not very responsive. I went into the room and there was nobody there. So I went back to the phone and told him I didn't see anyone in the room, and did his mom maybe go home? He said no, not possible. I said maybe she went to get something to eat. He said probably not and could I check with the nurse? So I asked, and she said that the pt's wife had said she was leaving. So I told the son that. He said, "did she take a cab?" I said, "I don't know, she just told the nurse she was going home." So he was like okay thanks.
Next thing I know security is calling me asking where pt's wife is. I said how in the heck should I know, I don't know what she looks like, but there is nobody in the room. I tell them that nobody told us anything about the pt's wife and if she can't be left alone then they need to stay with her. Security agreed. Well a few minutes later a little lady toddled up to the station and said, "my son was supposed to pick me up but I don't know where he is." I said, "are you Mrs. Soandso?" She said yes. So I parked her in a chair in the pt's room and told her not to go anywhere. I called security and told them that I found her, and the son came and got her. After that, they started leaving her at night, and the rest is history.
I know that people "suggested that they not leave her" and told her that we can't be responsible for her and can't take care of her etc., but I don't think anybody would put their foot down - you know, customer service. I would have put my foot down but I never actually saw any of the family other than that first day. I bet you guys are right - RM would put their foot down for sure.
should i ever become that confused mom and my kids dump me like that, i pray to have that 1 lucid moment for an impassioned kick to their a$$, sealed with a dopeslap to the upside.
miko014
672 Posts
Actually that was how we first found out that things weren't quite right...son called in and said, "I just called my dad's room and didn't get an answer, where's my mom?" I was in charge and didn't have the pt, and didn't know anything about the pt other than she was just transferred to us and was not very responsive. I went into the room and there was nobody there. So I went back to the phone and told him I didn't see anyone in the room, and did his mom maybe go home? He said no, not possible. I said maybe she went to get something to eat. He said probably not and could I check with the nurse? So I asked, and she said that the pt's wife had said she was leaving. So I told the son that. He said, "did she take a cab?" I said, "I don't know, she just told the nurse she was going home." So he was like okay thanks.
Next thing I know security is calling me asking where pt's wife is. I said how in the heck should I know, I don't know what she looks like, but there is nobody in the room. I tell them that nobody told us anything about the pt's wife and if she can't be left alone then they need to stay with her. Security agreed. Well a few minutes later a little lady toddled up to the station and said, "my son was supposed to pick me up but I don't know where he is." I said, "are you Mrs. Soandso?" She said yes. So I parked her in a chair in the pt's room and told her not to go anywhere. I called security and told them that I found her, and the son came and got her. After that, they started leaving her at night, and the rest is history.
I know that people "suggested that they not leave her" and told her that we can't be responsible for her and can't take care of her etc., but I don't think anybody would put their foot down - you know, customer service. I would have put my foot down but I never actually saw any of the family other than that first day. I bet you guys are right - RM would put their foot down for sure.