"My doctor told me..."

[angeloublue22]

I've have a weird week this week with some weird information that patients have said their doctors told them. It cracks me up because they either have the worst doctors I've ever known or they completely misunderstood what their doctor told them.

Example: Pt with a large abscess that's open and swelling. Abscesses don't usually swell more once open, so I was curious.

ME: How have you been treating it?

Pt: My doctor told me to clean with dawn dish soap and bleach. (He cut it open with a bleached knife and washed it with more bleach and dish soap)

What the doctor probably said: Clean with soap and water.

(Hey, bleach cleans stuff, right?)

another patient: Brought in five antibiotics from various dates some different kinds.

Me: Do you take all of these?

Pt: no, I just take them when I need them.

Me: Tell me what that means because that's actually dangerous.

Pt: Since I get lots of infections (from IV drugs) my doctor told me to take them whenever I feel an abscess coming on and stop as soon it goes away. (Queue my almost having an aneurysm.)

Me: Educated pt on the dangers and pointed out that each bottle says to make to take all medications and they would have received the same teaching from the pharmacy.

Pt: I don't think you're right. How do they even know how long to take an antibiotic? They're just guessing (I'm seeing stars in front of my eyes).

Me: tried to explain how they know how long to take antibiotics.

Pt: I think my doctor knows more than you since he's a DOCTOR and you're not, so I'll do what he says.

What the doctor probably: Do I even need to say it?

Please chime in with interesting "my doctor told me (input misinformation here)" I need a laugh before I go insane.

[KMULL002, BSN]

I am so sad to say I've been a nurse over 11 years and have no "my doctor told me," scenarios.. OMG I've enjoyed reading yours. Thanks for your posts.

[BeckyESRN]

I had a 4th grader tell me that his doctor said he could skip math class because it gives him a headache. Nice try, kid.

At the hospital, I had a patient tell me that the doctor advised her to apply her fentanyl patches to her nipples. Her doctor was not amused when I told him

[Davey Do]

I had a 4th grader tell me that his doctor said he could skip math class because it gives him a headache. Nice try, kid.

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[kakamegamama]

That's actually not a particularly unusual MD instruction, when used for wounds it's more commonly called "Dakin's solution", but it's still just diluted sodium hypochlorite, or what is commonly called "bleach".

Surfactants are also not unusual for MD's to recommend for wounds, preferably a highly biocompatible surfactant, a common one being dawn dish soap.

Well, I learned something today. Thanks, MunoRN!

[Nunya, BSN]

I have a relative who told me the doctor said she didn't have to take her Celexa every day, and that her Wellbutrin only had to be taken on really bad days. í ¾í´¦

[sunshiny]

Once I answered the call bell for a very obese patient was in our Med-Surg for uncontrolled DM2. They wanted me to go to the vending machine to get a few bottles of (full sugar) Pepsi. I then noticed that there were at least a dozen empty 20 ounce bottles all around their bed.

That seemed a bit strange, considering what they were here for, and I remarked in the nicest way possible that maybe drinking all this sugary soda wasn't the best idea. Their response: "Oh, that is the ONLY thing I drink. My doctor told me that with my diabetes, I can ONLY drink Coke or Pepsi with sugar in it."

They were 100% serious. I must have looked completely floored, because they were like "What? What's wrong?" I said "Well actually...."

Long story short, they switched to Diet Soda, and were discharged two days later.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

"My doctor told me I got diabetes from not eating enough sugar. That's how it works."