"Honey"

[lovingtheunloved]

After seeing coworkers call 85 year old women honey, and after being called honey by people my age (I'm only 23) I'm pretty much ready to puke. Do people really not know how patronizing that is? I just got out of lab and was ready to choke the little 20 year old know it all who insisted on calling me honey as she incorrectly corrected me. Am I alone in this?

[lovingtheunloved, ASN, RN]

ideally, endearments should be used towards those you endear.

otherwise, some may become annoyed at its' perceived insincerity.

if a nurse who was half my age, referred to me as hon, i would have no problem asking her not to use that word. no big drama. just a personal preference.

and other than giving our elderly carte blanche in using these endearments, i just can't appreciate being called darling, honey, poopsiepie by someone that doesn't even know me, never mind genuinely 'endear' me.

so i suppose it's situational.

generally i'm against it.

but in asserting my preferences, it needs not be equated with battle material..

ok girl?

:yeahthat: The particular person that irritated me is a fellow student that I don't know well.

And hyperstudent, as Tweety said, I'm not losing sleep over it. I vented for 4 lines of text on a bulletin board. What bothers you won't necessarily bother me, but I will be kind enough not mock you for it.

[slinkeecat]

I just want to be called "mattress kitten" lol... There are days when I would rather my patient did not know my name!!! LOL "hon" could be anyone, but when they keep yelling your name down the hall when your w/ another pt. trying to do a IVP or hanging blood it can be unnerving.

[nuangel1, BSN, RN]

its not a big deal to me .i have had pts call me dearie sweetie or hon.i don't mind .sometimes i call my pt's male =handsome or female hon but i don't mean anything by it.certainly if pt said din't like it i wouldn't do it.

[tofutti]

Our CNA instructors also stressed that we never used those terms. But in the real world of the nursing home, residents and staff called each other endearments all the time.

I also got over being called "the girls." In fact you can call me girl anytime! Beats "Ma'am".

However, I used to work for an M.D. who called me young lady, and I always wanted to call him "old man" back. :doh:

I found myself in some situations of cleaning up a really gross personal mess for someone, that I felt like calling them honey to reassure them that they were seen fondly regardless of the circumstances.

[Quickbeam, BSN, RN]

I try and lead by example. I use respectful speech and formal address. What people call me? I let it go. It does bother me when people are overly familiar with elders.

[banditrn]

When I took my CNA classes we were told explicitly to never call a patient honey or sweetie. I heeded the advice and have never used the term. If you can't remember a pt's name, then call them sir or ma'm. I too have been called sweetie as a patient and it drove me nuts.

I was also taught this when I went thru my nursing classes. Had a co-worker once who called everyone by their last name - it irritated me no end.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Someone at the dialysis unit calls me "young lady" - I'm old enough to appreciate it and laugh.

However, in the 10 years that I worked in the ER, I would have been happy to have been called sweetie or honey but nope, got called some really bad names.

[bagladyrn, RN]

For me, it's a very deeply ingrained habit - calling people "Hon". I was raised in Baltimore where it's just part of everyday speech (especially if you are from south Baltimore). No- it's not gender or age specific - everyone is addressed that way. They even have an event called the "Hon Fest" and yes, I've got the t-shirt!

Fortunately most of my OB patients are as young as or younger than my son, so they don't seem to take offense - those without family support seem to appreciate the more personal touch. We won't even go into the kind of terms of endearment I use talking to the newborns!

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

In the south, it is part of the relaxed/familiar culture to use such terms and I have rarely been offended and have never been told that my use of such terms has been offensive. I tried to be aware of others and I am young, so I find it more appropriate to address most as "Mr. or Mrs. So and So...." But because of the culture, I don't personally find it patronizing....but sometimes one's tone will be a more accurate portrayl of whether it was used in a friendly manner or condescending manner.

[anamnesis2]

Amen!

[meownsmile, BSN, RN]

I see there are a few others also that were taught NOT to address patients in terms that could be considered patronizing. They are in a position of being vulnerable anyway. It was made very clear to us while in school.

I know people address others in those terms and i myself dont necissarily consider it patronizing. But in a professional nurse/patient relationship i think addressing someone as sir, mame, or mr/mrs is a tad more professional. We have to consider where we work (LTC vs acute care) and who our patients are i think.

[Sirius Black]

When I took my CNA classes we were told explicitly to never call a patient honey or sweetie. I heeded the advice and have never used the term. If you can't remember a pt's name, then call them sir or ma'm. I too have been called sweetie as a patient and it drove me nuts.

I'm a nursing student and we were told this prior to going out on our first year placements last year. We've been told to greet the patient/resident as

Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss _______ the first time, then ask what they preferred to be called and do so.