"foreign" objects?

[mollyB]

I'm not a nurse so you guys tell me, I've heard rumors for years, and from actual nurses about people coming into the ED with things stuck in their various private orifices that they can't get out. Is there any truth to this? Just my morbid curiousity.

[ERRN5778]

I heard this story from a friend of mine who used to be a paramedic.....they got a call to this guy's house and found out that a shampoo bottle got stuck in some place it shouldn't be...his explanation as to how it got there...."I slipped in the shower and fell." Mind you...he was dry.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by mattsmom81

Lucky for him the bottle didn't come open or he's really have had a hot time, eh? :chuckle

Oh..and I was an ER nurse in the 80's and there was indeed a gerbil fetish going on then...I can testify to it. Adults do some verrry strange things with their orifices down below...and kids stick strange things in ALL orifices...:chuckle

LOL!

[Rosienurse]

How about this: An old woman came into her doc's office and said she had "potatoes in her pajamas" HUH!?! So, upon examination, slices of potatoes were found in her lady parts. When asked why she put them there, she promptly explained that they were her birth control. EWWWW!!!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Hi Yall

Question. How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Answer... just 1, but it takes everyone in the ER to get it out.

[KLS]

some of these are way out there

[redshiloh]

Way IN there, actually!

[warrior woman]

My sister in law who is an RN uesd to work at the Cleveland Clinic. Anyhow, EMT's brought in a guy with a vibrator up his rectum STILL RUNNING, and the guy in the next bed kept asking if they got it out yet. Well, finally the nurse asked him why he wanted to know so bad and he said, I want to get those same batteries for my radio!!!:chuckle

[live4today, RN]

True story: My hubby shared this one with me as it happened in a certain military ER some years ago. A woman was brought in by ambulance along with her german shepherd on top of her. She was having sex with her dog, and the dog's member became so engorged in her, it took coming to the ER to get the two of them unattached. :rotfl: Poor woman....her husband was overseas at the time. Guess she didn't want to cheat on him, so she thought the dog could satisfy her during his absence. :rotfl:

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer

so she thought the dog could satisfy her during his absence. :rotfl:

How could one ever get a DOG ...? No. I don't wanna know. LOL!

Would sure make inviting guests over later a bit awkward! (DOWN Rex DOWN!)

[Dixen81]

Originally posted by teeituptom

Hi Yall

Question. How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Answer... just 1, but it takes everyone in the ER to get it out.

ROTFLMAO!!!:roll

[Coldfoot]

Had some EMS co-workers get this one in a college town. Dispatched to a sexual assault and found a champagne glass....in a young lady where champagne shouldn't be.

At first it sounds very tragic, but then you find out she was alone. Appearantly this was enjoyable until the stem snapped off and 'vacume seal' kept things in. :roll

I believe it just required sedation and a little careful pulling to remove. Don't people think alleged crimes will be investigated?chuckle

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

This is not exactly an "orfice" story, but I was working one night when the house supervisor came around. She had just helped rush a patient from the psych ward to OR. The lady had just swallowed a *whole box* of thumbtacks. I asked how in the world a psych patient got hold of thumbtacks? She told me that was the most interesting part- her husband had brought them to her! She survived.