This may get moved from the OZ forum to humor but I thought I'd give you all first crack at it.
You're not Australian until you've:
1) You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head with your bare hands.
2) You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' - "Push off, ya flamin' drongo"
3) You have argued whether Fords are better than Holden's
4) You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your towel
5) You know who Ray Martin is
6) You call your home "My Joint"
7) You start using words like 'Bloody, grouse and champ'
8) You stop greeting people with 'Hello' and go straight into 'how're you doin'?
9) You've seriously considered running down to the shops in a pair of ugh boots
10) You own ugh boots
11) You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed incomprehensibly until your throat went raw
12) You've had to decide between putting up with mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside
13) You've changed your ring tone on your mobile phone to something much more annoying than the one it came with
14) You kind of know the first verse of the national anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means
15) You have a story that some how revolves around excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named 'Dave'
16) You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe
17) You own a Bonds t-shirt and wear it with pride
18) You've risked attending a music festival on the hottest day of the year
19) You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while pretending you could fly
20) You've had to visit the emergency room after hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could fly
21) You own pair of thongs for every day use, and another pair of dress thongs for special occasions
22) You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care
23) You pronounce Australia 'Straya'
24) You call soccer 'soccer', not football
25) You know a dog named Bluey
26) You've squeezed Vegemite between Vita Wheat to make Vegemite worms
27) You suck coffee though a Tim Tam
28) You've become deeply cynical of politicians
29) You realise that lifeguards are the only ones who can wear Speedo's and look good
30) You've been in a Ute with a blue heeler in the back
31) You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite
32) In your CD collection you have at least one: Kylie Minogue, Cold Chisel or Paul Kelly
33) You understand the value of Public Holidays
34) You order a "Hamburger with the lot, thanks love"
35) You believe that the flavour of any meal is improved by adding tomato sauce
36) You have been invited to a B&S Ball
37) Your weekends are spent barracking for your favourite sports team
38) You have a toilet dolly
39) You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and a bat fashioned out of a fence post
40) You still go on about how great the Sydney Olympics were
41) You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that 'She'll be right, mate'
42) You use the phrase 'no worries' at least once a day
43) You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed in a caravan
44) You constantly shorten words. For example, breakfast becomes
'brekkie' and afternoon becomes 'arvo', barbeque becomes 'barbie'
45) You order a $5 steak the size of your head at your local RSL
46) You've adopted a local bar as one of your own
47) You know all the words to 'Holy Grail' and sing it at the top of your lungs.
48) Your idea of a holiday is driving hundreds of kilometres to sit on the banks of the Murray and drink copious amounts of alcohol while you pretend to be fishing
49) You can't understand why John Farnham never became an international success
50) You know that the oath of mateship can never be limited by geographical distance
:)
