"Atypical" Nurse? How discouraging...

PineappleCrush · Jun 1, 2009

Wow, I can't believe the narrow-mindedness of some people! Just because you are single and childless does not have any bearing on your aptitude to care for others! In fact, in many ways it shows that you are very selfless because you haven't actively pursued a husband or children (or haven't had the time!)!

In all honesty, from what little you mentioned about your lifestyle, I envy it! I was a member of Americorps for a year during my second year of college which got me to switch my major to Nursing as well! And once I graduate and get my RN I want to travel and I want to truly help people who are impoverished, especially in under-developed countries. It's my dream to join Doctors Without Borders. And, although I would like to have a husband (eventually) I'm not really looking forward to having kids. If I do, I'm definitely adopting. So I don't think your lifestyle choice is a problem whatsoever!

Regardless, I am in awe of what you've done so far with you life, and it has probably given you many more skills than a large handful of other nurses out there don't have. Cherish it; now's your time to shine! Don't let anyone get you down, those were just silly remarks. I love how someone mentioned that Florence Nightingale was single and childless, too. Next time someone says a remark like that, just give them that retort

Go get 'em, girl! :up: Don't let them get you down!

emmalou* · Jun 1, 2009

My god who are these people? For all they know you had a hysterectomy and can't have children or something! How rude. I'm sick of the tired old argument that all parents are selfless, mother Theresa like human beings and childless people are selfish - how do we explain all the neglected, abused children in the world?

I'm married but don't have children at my choice although I love babies (my husband says he is happy with this decision). My reasons are personal and to do with my childhood and lack of decent parental role models, and are nothing to do with anyone else. I do respect others' rights to want and have children however, which is why it makes me mad when I hear this stuff - what happened to live and let live?

There are absolutely loads and loads of nurses who are - single, married, living with someone, have children, have one child, have 6, have no children, are divorced, are single parents, are lesbian or gay, from different ethnic backgrounds, are any age from 20-70 and the list goes on. An individual's life experience is what makes them a good nurse, regardless of what it is.

In fact, one of the best things about nursing is the diversity in professionals from different backgrounds because ..... patients are diverse! As if most patients would give two hoots if you had kids or not anyway. :rolleyes:

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2009

What I've always noticed, not being able to have kids myself, is the ones that make the stupid comments are the ones that turn around and B**** about their kids and hubby in the next breath. I told one person who kept saying, "well, can't they do a surgery? Have you tried everything? Maybe you should adopt, I know a lot of people who adopted and then could get pregnant?" that after listening to her never end list of complaints about her kids, I was kinda glad I couldn't have any. She never brought it up again.

But fools are like buses. There's going to be another one along in 15 minutes....

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2009

I get this kind of sentiment all the time. I am 31, married for almost 10 years, childless, and a school nurse. People just don't get why I chose school nursing "since I obviously don't like children". I try and blow it off, but it can be hurtful and annoying.

hiddencatRN, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2009

Well, aside from the rudeness, wasn't nursing traditionally a profession for unmarried women? Weren't many of the first nurses nuns?

I just don't get people who can't fathom that others have different needs and desires and don't need exactly the same thing they need to be happy and fulfilled.

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Jun 1, 2009

My god who are these people? For all they know you had a hysterectomy and can't have children or something! How rude.

That's true. I was thinking the next time the OP encounters another one of those interrogations, she could throw herself on the ground and start sobbing about how she's unable to have children. Make it reeeeeeally awkward for the jerk who just pried into her personal life.

futuremombabynurse · Jun 1, 2009

I get the same thing a lot, but my classmates are a little more understanding of my position now that we're two quarters in. I'm married, but have no children. Out of my class of 35 last semester and 20 this semester, only five of us don't have children, and the ones that do tended, for a while, to "wonder" about us and how we'd react in the "real" world. When I pointed out that while yes, I don't have to rush home from school to feed and bed kids, that doesn't mean I haven't done it before (with four younger cousins and four "adopted" nieces and nephews) nor does it mean I'm not responsible. In fact, I think that my husband and me waiting to have kids until I get my RN degree is rather responsible!:loveya:

Darjeeling22 · Jun 1, 2009

Oh my goodness, I've come back to so many replies :) You all are so fantastic!!! A lot of people asked where I am - I'm on the eastern shore of Virginia, which I suppose classifies as "semi-rural" (to "rural" in some areas). I'm originally from a large city in New Jersey, so I'm very much a stranger here.

Thank you all SO MUCH for all these replies. You've really made me feel better and reminded me of a lot of things the more logical side of me passed over. I suppose it's one of those things that you know is terribly silly in your head, but it takes hearing it from others to kick you in the butt.

To fuzzywuzzy --> Haha. It would certainly make them feel terrible, I'm sure, but the lack of children isn't a medical choice. And I would never want to misrepresent that it was. (As I'm certainly not sobbing about not having children! Heh.)

Darjeeling22 · Jun 1, 2009

In all honesty, from what little you mentioned about your lifestyle, I envy it! I was a member of Americorps for a year during my second year of college which got me to switch my major to Nursing as well! And once I graduate and get my RN I want to travel and I want to truly help people who are impoverished, especially in under-developed countries. It's my dream to join Doctors Without Borders. And, although I would like to have a husband (eventually) I'm not really looking forward to having kids. If I do, I'm definitely adopting. So I don't think your lifestyle choice is a problem whatsoever!

Pineapple, I think we're twins!!! :yeah:Where did you do your AC service, if I may ask?

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Jun 1, 2009

I think the key thing (and this is for life in general) is being comfortable in who you are, and what decisions you have made. Whether you chose to be single, married, gay, straight, a parent or childless, or even same sex partners parenting. Let's face it, our world has changed, and we don't have to conform to society's 'standards'.

In the same way that someone may question a person/couples decision to not have children, I feel like I want to sometimes question my friends/family/coworker's decision to have more children. I see so many people I know struggling with full time jobs, ridiculous mortgage payments, and relationships that are being tested and strained, and are having more kids. I know, who am I to judge? But that's exactly my point! I don't say it (I just think it).

showbizrn · Jun 1, 2009

hello!
i'll be 30 next year, and i'm unmarried with no children. now that i've jumped in and started my pre-nursing track i've been absolutely shocked by the negativity i've been getting from nurses and nursing students i've met recently - due to my choice of lifestyle. i was asked the other day by an rn family friend how i could possibly be thinking about going into nursing when i couldn't even be selfless enough to take care of a child. couple of weeks ago i was even told that patients wouldn't trust me as much if they thought i "hated men and children" (!!!!), and that getting hired would be harder since "family life shows that you're a reliable, caring person". these are just a handful of negative opinions i've been served, and they're certainly jarring.

giirrrrrrllll!!!! :loveya:

why did they go there? do we have to go there?

tell-'em,

i'm thirty

flirty

and i don't get my skirt dirty.

i'm a nurse

with smarts and style.

competent and prudent

without husband or child.

(then take-'em to-the-'hood

like you know you could),

and if you don't like it

you got a hole-in-your soul

and you don't eat chicken on sunday.:d:d

:yeah:

2BSure · Jun 1, 2009

Unreal! When they do this start laughing and ask if they can hear themselves.