I am a new grad as well and left my first job after about 3 months. It was too toxic of an environment for me, my preceptor spent more time talking on the phone or leaving the floor than mentoring me, I then precepted with four other people making it very hard to actually get a solid routine down, and then after a mere 5 weeks on orientation on the Progressive Care Unit I was in, in an inner-city hospital of 600+ beds, they wanted me off orientation and wouldn't give me any extra time on orientation due to budget constraints. I was just like you, crying on my way to work, crying on the way home from work, crying DURING work.... It was awful. Management seemed sympathetic on the outside, but they essentially told me to suck it up or leave and "step down" to Med/Surg. And so I left.
I'm now on a Med/Surg unit at a different hospital but still within the same organization and it is better. The people at my new job understand that my time was hard at my old place and they try to help me as much as possible. It's hard because the unit is super busy with rapid discharges and admits, but they help when they can. It's important to find a place that has that kind of attitude. I still cry sometimes because I can just get emotional when I get overwhelmed (because I still do get overwhelmed, and probably will for the next year or so) and the management is very concerned when this happens. It's a sign of a good place. You'll find your place. Be open about your experience and talk about how things should be better, and how you would work to help make things better in your future jobs :) There is still a lack of empathy from "higher ups" concerning stress levels, sick leave and all that kind of stuff, but that all boils down to money, unfortunately, and I've quickly found that money is EVERYTHING in healthcare. Its depressing and hard to deal with sometimes. On a random side note, I had a patient who was going to be discharged with a PICC line, but the PICC nurse was near the end of her shift and apparently management had been getting on her case about staying late, so instead of doing the PICC line and staying a little over her time, management told her to leave and do it tomorrow so the patient got needlessly charged for an extra night's stay because they didn't want to pay the PICC nurse a little overtime. Sad.
