"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions

Nurses General Nursing

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I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.

I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.

So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."

Thoughts? Opinions?

Rebecca, that agnostic porterwoman :confused:

Reborn,

By your screen name I believe you're letting us all know that you are Christian, and proud of it. Maybe you could shed some light on this discussion. Why do you think that some Christians feel it is so important to ask if someone is saved? I've been concerned in the past that patients may ask because they don't feel comfortable having a non-Christian caring for them.

Thanks.

I guess we posted at about the same time, while I was expanding my last post. Thank you for asking my opinion.

Well, I have never really thought about that question from the POV you ask. I have always felt most people ask that because they are so happy to be saved that they just want everyone to be.

I really don't think they mean to make anyone feel bad, that is if THEY are truly saved they don't.

Because if THEY are truly saved, it means they are trying to become more like Christ and less like a person who just lives in the flesh. (selfish, self-centered, materialistic, hedonistic, etc.) That is what it is about, this personal saving relationship with Jesus.

So they truly want the best as they believe it for other people. I mean if someone had the cure for a specific illness, wouldn't they want to "shout it from the roof-tops?"

I have never asked anyone if they were saved, but b/f I was, it offended me to be asked, because it CONVICTED me.( Now, I'm not going to get into a big debate about that remark, remember I said ME, not you.)

But not as "a nurse". Many people say things that offend, but when we are caregiving we are being PAID to put up with it. Be offended on your own time. Or like I said b/f, better yet, grow up!

I have, however, asked someone(s) if they would like to receive Christ as their personal Savior, but only after developing that type of relationship, not just randomly asking. And just like with anything else, your "gut" (heart) tells you when that would be "appropriate".

As far as your question about a Christian "not wanting a non-Christian caregiver", can't imagine anyone not wanting a caring, compassionate nurse to be rendering their care, be he/she Christian, Jew, Zen, Atheist, whatever. And all of these can be caring and compassionate, moral and ethical people.

Christianlity is a Personal relationship, not "religion".

And PS:, what you said about letting you know I'm a Christian, oh yes, most definitely, because, you see, I was dead and now I live.

But "proud of it" isn't exactly right, Christianity is about humility, but joy. I'm so HAPPY to say I'm a Christian, that's all. Others have their own choice, and I respect that. If they are unhappy, and their beliefs are not working for them, and ask about mine, I would be more than happy to share them.

But for this thread and many more like it on other boards just amazes me, that people complain about how the Christian worldview offends them. Sorry, but none of us have a right not to be offended, that's the most ridiculous concept of the modern world. Other people's secular view may very well offend me, but I put up with it quietly day in, day out, all day long (until I "go off" like in my previous thread) :D

Most music, TV etc, offends me and about makes me want to hurl, but do I spend all day talking about it????

No, I love people in spite of these things.

I always liked the Eagles song:

Victim of this

Victim of that

Your momma's too thin

and your Daddy's too fat

Get over it!

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I always give the standard response:

I was saved 2000 years ago.

But everyone holds the keys to Hell if that is what they wish.

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I don't mind discussing religion with others. I really don't care what denomination it is, but I prefer they had God somehow in their lives. it's when they start trying to TELL ME what I need to do and how I NEED TO CHANGE that I get upset.

Kenni...

Why? Why would you prefer I have a God in my life? I am a happy person, I have lots of friends and family, I've been in the same relationship with my boyfriend for 16 years (and no, I don't like to rush into things :chuckle ), I have a great job that I love, I am absolutely fantastic at what I do, I love my patients and they love me, I am happy and content.

I am one of those nurses that my patients remember. I get cards and letters from patients and family members, they typically say they know I care about them and I do.

I was born and raised Christian. I finally came to terms with all of that and one day I acknowledged that I just don't believe in the Christian dogma. I tried, I tried my best. Since I quit trying so hard to believe I am happier now moreso than ever.

I'm a good person and that is my religion. When people ask and I can't dodge the question I generally answer that my religion is to be the best person I can possibly be. When I do something nice for someone else, it isn't a brownie point with a God. I do it because it is the right thing to do. No outside rewards, all the rewards I get come from within.

There are lots and lots of happy and content people that don't have a God. That's okay, it really is. I don't mean that in a snitty way, honestly I don't. I mean it literally. It just doesn't take a God to be happy and content with the way things are. It doesn't take a God or religion to have morality or care for your fellow human beings.

If there is a God and I am all wrong about this... well here is my feeling. If he cares more for how I worship him vs. how I live my life and treat those I can see, feel, and hear... I have no use for this God anyway.

Besides, if there is a God I just can't fathom how he would be so mean and heartless, arrogant and an egomaniac that his #1 concern for me is that I acknowledge him and put him before those that actually need me to be there for them in the here and now. That just doesn't make any sense.

I am a nurse, a daughter, a girlfriend, a sister, a friend, a concerned citizen, a volunteer, a person who donates time and money to worthy causes and people in need, and I am an atheist. Don't we really share more than you might think?

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Well, I have never really thought about that question from the POV you ask. I have always felt most people ask that because they are so happy to be saved that they just want everyone to be.

So if I approached you and asked you to give up your God and be an atheist so you could be as happy as me, that wouldn't make you feel a little put off? Not even just a TINY bit? Is it really up to me to suggest you change and be like me because *I* think you'll be happier if you think like I do?

One of yours posts was a little uncalled for. I think if the tables were turned you might have a little different attitude. Certainly a better understanding of the situation as a whole.

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Wow - I've never been asked if I've been saved. I'm sure i would blurt out "from what, what do you mean?" Other than that I think I would just answer "yes thanks" and quickly busy myself with another task. When people (usually 2 young men) knock on the door to give me pamphlets I politley and answer "No thanks" and close the door. If someone jammed their foot in the door I would freak and probably stomp as hard as i could on their foot. Oh, i hope that never happens!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
But for this thread and many more like it on other boards just amazes me, that people complain about how the Christian worldview offends them. Sorry, but none of us have a right not to be offended, that's the most ridiculous concept of the modern world. Other people's secular view may very well offend me, but I put up with it quietly day in, day out, all day long (until I "go off" like in my previous thread) :D

No one's world view offends me. (I'm trying to understand your double negative "none of us have the right not to be offended"...guess I need more coffee. :rotfl: )

I too get a little dismayed with the Christian bashing. I try to see both views. 1) The command of all true Christians to take it to all the world, and 2) the frustrations of non-Christians living in a Christian dominated society who are a bit weary of the Christians not so quietly taking it to all the world. Also I understand, that not all of us have a warm fuzzy experience of Christianity and Christ, and it jades our view of what true Christianity is all about. It's not Christ or Christianity I have a problem with, it's some of His followers.:)

Anyway, we're way off topic, but as you're trying to enlighten some of us, I hope you too can step out of your paradigm (sp? I hate that world) and take another look.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Wow - I've never been asked if I've been saved. I'm sure i would blurt out "from what, what do you mean?" Other than that I think I would just answer "yes thanks" and quickly busy myself with another task. When people (usually 2 young men) knock on the door to give me pamphlets I politley and answer "No thanks" and close the door. If someone jammed their foot in the door I would freak and probably stomp as hard as i could on their foot. Oh, i hope that never happens!

I grew up in a medium sized town in NC (in the so-called "Bible Belt"), and I've been asked that in line at the grocery store, at school, and by patients. But not all too often. But more often it's "what Church do you go to?".

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

Thought this would be a good addition to this thread......

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?t=101035

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Specializes in NICU.
Because if THEY are truly saved, it means they are trying to become more like Christ and less like a person who just lives in the flesh. (selfish, self-centered, materialistic, hedonistic, etc.) That is what it is about, this personal saving relationship with Jesus.

Really? Wow, I never knew I was like that. Thanks for letting me know what kind of a person I must be because I don't have a personal saving relationship with Jesus . . . :uhoh21:

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
HAHAHA... you have obviously never been an atheist in the midst of those wanting to save you! :chuckle .......................................

No, I've never been an atheist.

I've always believed in God, and always will. :)

I'm NOT a believer of manmade religions be they "christian, satanic, atheism, buddhist, kabbala, or otherwise" though.

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
I don't get offended when people, including patients, ask me if I'm saved because as Christians I understand that is their command to bring all they can into the Kingdom.

Renee, there's a difference between someone asking about your spirituality and "are you saved?". Are you saved means you'll get a sermon if you aren't. Asking about my spirituality invites an open discussion.

I am there to take care of my patients spiritual needs, not mine, so I don't feel the need to discuss it with them. The same way I don't talk to them about any personal medical problems, unless it relates to them and I can share how I dealt.

To those of us who aren't saved in the eyes of the Christian, we need a tactful way to not discuss it so we don't ruin any rapport we've built up with our patients. So no, I'm not going to proclaim any spritiuality to the one who asks "are you saved".

Am I making sense.

And no, it doesn't offend or rile me up.

Thank you for sharing your take on this with me. Much appreciated. :)

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Thought this would be a good addition to this thread......

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?t=101035

:rotfl::rotfl:

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